How to respond to Hex 40 with no chaging line? Should I wait for him to come back?

[Franne]

Hello again!

Well I decided to ask Iching again but this time from my own side!
My boyfriend and I are kind of separated now, since we are experiencing a long distance relationship for a while. We seem to be ok but it also seems that he is getting cold sometimes.

I asked if I have to wait for him to come back to me and I got Hex 40 with no changing line. Liberation!

How could I interpret it?
Please help me
Thanks!:bows:

 

[anemos]

Besides the - maybe - obvious answer you mentioned too, I'm more inclined to see 40 as a need to reduce the tension the current form of relationship creates... additionally, the following might be appropriate.

If there are any residual matters that ought to be attended to, it should be done as quickly as possible, so that a clean sweep is made and no retardations occur.

There is a sense of you being 'outside" this relationship in some ways. Maybe its the verbalizing of your thoughts , but can't helped it and see a distance from your side...

 

[Franne]

Thank you anemos!
But my question was sort of if he is my man and if I should expect him and wait in this relationship to work. Not actually any action, so how could you interpret that "quick" there? Should I do something or just wait for him to comeback? I have already done my attempt...

 

[Trojina]

No 40uc doesn't suggest waiting for anything at all.

It's very clear, it says if there is somewhere to go then go now. If there is not then return to usual conditions. Release, thunder over water, is not about waiting but breaking tension through either taking action or going back to one's usual way of life.


My feeling is it is time for you to let this go. Either that or take some action to be properly back together by dissolving misunderstandings.

I tend to think from your description of the situation it is time to release it and go on with your life as usual, but you have to see what fits.

One thing I would say this answer is not advising you to wait !

From Wilhelm, The Judgment

If there is no longer anything where one has to go,
Return brings good fortune.
If there is still something where one has to go,
Hastening brings good fortune.

See there is no waiting there.

 

[ginnie]

Hex 40 is about untying knots and releasing tension. I think it is telling you to be less involved; let him go.

 

[long yi]

Hexagram 40 layout

神煞：天乙—子申　福星—未　日禄—午　羊刃—巳　驿马—亥　桃花—午　华盖—丑
干支：甲午年　辛未月　己酉日　乙丑时
旬空：辰巳　　戌亥　　寅卯　　戌亥


六神　 伏神 　　　震宫：雷水解　
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财庚戌土　　
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼庚申金　应
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙庚午火　　
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　子孙戊午火　　
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财戊辰土　世
滕蛇　父母庚子水　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟戊寅木　　

From your reading, there is no other party at present.
Line 2 female chen earth (empty element under the year)
Line 1 third party yin wood (empty element under the month)
Line 6 female xu earth (empty element under the month)

There are younger females at line 3 and 4 at the door position.
Line 2 and 5 show that you two have certain disagreement.

解者散也，卦中缺父母，以震卦初爻子水父母，伏于本卦初爻寅木之下，寅木是飞神，子水是伏神，水生木谓之伏去生飞，名曰泄气。

The relationship line does not show in this hexagram. Rather, it is the hidden line parent zi water behind line 1 third party yin wood.
He has his own problem to deal with. The relationship is losing its steam. It gets worst by early 2015.

Hex 40 means dissolution: This means the party involved wants out of this relationship and find someone else.

If one party moves fast enough to work towards a marriage, it may be possible. The overall picture is that this relationship is over if you wait any longer without doing anything about it.

This card is equivalent to 5 of swords in Tarot.

Quote
In a relationship situation, it basically implies that the lover who finally wins in the debate feels superior to their defeated other half. Unfortunately, this only proves that love and support are absent in the relationship.

Some hardcore abusive relationships can also be represented by the Five of Swords. Do you get pressured by your lover to do things you do not like? If your answer is yes then you are in a Five of Swords situation. In short, there is exploitation in the air. I actually used to get this tarot card for a controlling woman a lot. She was skilled at bringing down her boyfriend by the force of her mouth! Unfortunately, although her harsh words hurt her man all the time, she did not show interest in being sympathetic towards him.

For feelings, Five of Swords can have several meanings, but they are usually filled with negativity. In details, its appearance basically implies that you are too much to handle for your love interest. Yes, you have the charisma that attracts him, but somehow he thinks that you might be better off with someone far better than him. Interestingly, for feelings, there can also be a contradictory meaning in Five of Swords. It is possible that you are too passive which is liked by your love interest because it makes him feel manly in front of you. But be aware, for he might start manipulating your passivity for his own personal gain. Remember, swords always show negative issues. So his intention towards you might not be good.
Unquote

Conclusion:
The relationship has run its course. It is not a matter whether the deal will stick. Rather, being together in a happy union (long term marriage) is not a possible solution. There are differences between the two of you that cannot be compromised.

You have to self-reflect whether it is worth your effort.

 

[bradford]

Letting go or release is 40's most succinct meaning. It can't get any clearer.

 

[Liselle]

I agree with everyone here that 40 unchanging means to let him go.

Maybe Franne's mild confusion comes from the fact that her question was more complicated than Yi's answer? Yi gave a very simple answer about the relationship as a whole ("let it go"), but Franne had a lot more than that going on in her head when she asked about it. There was an unexpected mismatch between the question and the answer from Yi.

This is probably a good example of why it's important to focus in on what you're asking, so that you have something firm(ish) to interpret the reading against. This is often not easy to do - you're asking because you're confused, and somehow you're supposed to un-confuse yourself before you ask? Maybe even a little bit would help - maybe just enough so that the question would sound clear (rather than muddled) if you heard it from another person? I have a hard time with questions a lot.

 

[Franne]

Now what???

Thank you very much every one!
All answers were so usefil, special thanks to long yi for very complete explanation.
According to lisa's, I guess yea I was confused a little bit with my feelings at that tine so I waited a little and then after he texted me again I decided to repeat my question!

But this time I asked: " should I wait to marry him?"

And guess what! I got hex 53 with changing lines 1-2-4> changing to 1.

Now what???
Thank you in advance!

 

[Liselle]

" should I wait to marry him?"

I think you're implying he said something encouraging to you in the text? Did he propose to you via text message or something ?

It's a private message, and you don't have to tell us exactly what he said, but it's confusing because going from "he is getting cold sometimes" to marriage is quite a leap in a short time.

With this question too, I'm not sure what you're asking the I Ching. Should you wait to marry him...versus what, marrying him this instant? Is marriage a sure thing, and you're asking about the timing, or are you asking about marrying him at all?

Hexagram 53 is about "gradual progress," but yes, it can also be about marriage, or about finding a suitable habitat. I don't think it's a wholehearted endorsement of marrying him right now - as I understand line 4, it's more like finding a temporary spot to rest. I'm also not sure how to fit this reading with the previous one of 40uc.

 

[Franne]

Marrying

Hello Lisa

Thanks for your reply.

Well actually I asked iching if this relationship is ever going to lead to marriage. I know that it is not the time and at the moment and I did not ask if he is going to marry me right now. I know I should wait, but my question was that if it is going to be marriage at all, With him? If I wait for him and give it time? Although he sometimes seems cold or far away from me, because we are experiencing a long distance relationship. Or should I let him go?
And no the text was nothing about proposing or even close to it. It was just a text asking what I am doing and what he is doing and a little bit about his job.
So what do you think?

 

[Franne]

And something Made me confused!
What is the second hex about after changing lines? The first hex shows the results of an act right? But what about the changing lines? What do they exactly show? And the second hex? Does it show the ultimate outcome? Like the first hex is closer and the last is final? Is this right?

 

[moss elk]

I would suggest to focus more on the 'first' hex, its overall message, and its changing lines.
You didn't get two hex's, you got one, with particular emphasis on certain lines.

In my experience it seems the '2nd hex' which is created when the lines change is something like a backdrop or context to the answer, not a future condition.

 

[Liselle]

Oh, okay. Thank you for clarifying.

Still not terribly sure about the reading. Hexagram 53 can be about marriage, and it's certainly about progressing gradually. Hexagram 1 can be about creating something. So maybe the two hexagrams together could mean that the two of you are gradually creating your relationship, or creating conditions which may someday lead to marriage?

53.4 in that context may be describing the current situation - that at this moment, you're in a sort of temporary holding pattern because you're separated from each other. I think it's neither positive nor negative - just a description of where you unavoidably are right now. It's not bad - it's just not where you want to stay forever.

53.1 can sometimes mean small talk - it could be referring to the text message he sent you right before you cast the reading, or to the kind of communication you have these days because of the separation. It's harder to discuss big issues, so you engage in a lot of "small words."

I get the impression that 53.1 can also mean an insecure place. But since it's in the reading with 53.2, the two lines together probably mean you've progressed one step farther than that. Maintaining a long-distance relationship is inherently insecure, but 53.2 says that you're actually doing pretty well with it. It's not the destination or the ideal, but it's okay for a while.

I don't believe the reading promises marriage. You didn't get 53.5, which is about eventual success. But the reading also isn't saying that marriage isn't possible. I think overall the reading is just describing the present situation in reasonably optimistic terms. It's not looking into the future very far.

How this somewhat encouraging reading fits with the 40 unchanging reading, which we previously thought was telling you to let the relationship go? Maybe it just means to release worrying about it? Be content with things as they are, try to make the the best of the present situation, and let things develop without looking too far into the future?

 

[Franne]

Thank you Moss Elk

So in this second case what do you think about my question? Hex 53 with 1-2-4 changing lines led to hex 1?
I asked if I wait fir him, will this lead to marriage?

Thanks!

 

[Liselle]

In my experience it seems the '2nd hex' which is created when the lines change is something like a backdrop or context to the answer, not a future condition.

Yes, Franne, Moss Elk is exactly right.

We cross-posted here - I mentioned a couple things hexagram 1, The Creative, might mean in the earlier post, probably that the two of you are engaged in creating how your relationship will develop in challenging circumstances.

 

[Franne]

Wow!!! Thank you Lisa!!
Very nice interpretation! Loved it! Seemed so true! I simply can rely on gradual progress!
Nice job!

 

[Liselle]

I simply can rely on gradual progress!

I don't think there are any guarantees in the reading, though. I really think the reading is about the present, rather than the future. Things are fine for now, and there might be potential, but there aren't any ironclad promises in it (in my opinion).

 

[long yi]

But this time I asked: " should I wait to marry him?"
And guess what! I got hex 53 with changing lines 1-2-4> changing to 1.

53.1, 53.2 means no hope for marriage because there are differences between the two.
53.4 means that there is a possibility, the process is not definitely not smooth because the relationship is unstable.

hexagram 1 is a HOLLOW 6 strike hexagram. Normally, the relationship lacks depth and stability. Thus, I do not think this will be a happy and long lasting union even if you wait and force it.

The layout
起卦时间：2014年08月12日03时14分
起卦农历：甲午年七月十七日寅时
神煞：天乙—子申　福星—丑亥　日禄—卯　羊刃—寅　驿马—巳　桃花—子　华盖—未
干支：甲午年　壬申月　乙卯日　戊寅时
旬空：辰巳　　戌亥　　子丑　　申酉

六神　 伏神 　　　艮宫：风山渐（归魂）　　　　　乾宫：乾为天（六冲）
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼辛卯木　应　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟壬戌土　世
白虎　妻财丙子水　▅▅▅▅▅　父母辛巳火　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙壬申金　　
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟辛未土　　×→　▅▅▅▅▅　父母壬午火　　
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙丙申金　世　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟甲辰土　应
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母丙午火　　×→　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼甲寅木　　
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丙辰土　　×→　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财甲子水

53.3 and 53.6 are both yang lines. You do not share the same vision. 53.6 is him officer line mao wood and it is suppressed by you child line 53.3 shen metal. It is your way that he cannot accept. Line 53.5 is a relationship with a female behind. This female is not you. He may have someone else, but this someone else may have left him (parent line si fire with movement star).

There are too many difficulties in this connection, obstacles involved in a possible future union. Thus, I think that it is game over for a long term relationship between you and him.