How will our new relationship evolve: Hex 54

[odette]

Hello,

Wonderful to be back here again after a few months of vacation visiting family.

I have recently and very slowly reunited with my ex after a one-year separation. We both want to take this new relationship very slowly and carefully. I have asked IC tonight: How will our relationship evolve from now on? and received hex. 54 unchanging.

I am unable to interpret this response. He divorced 8 years ago, 1 year prior to our relationship start. He lived together and shared many of life's little and great experiences during 7.5 years. We were engaged (the date was set to today actually!): aha moment when reading of the second wife. It ended last year with him meeting an old flame.I told him that if we were to start anew, our past relationship was over (he agreed too) and that I deserved nothing less than the very best (after all that I have been through this past year, I deserve only the best). He told me that he was trying to figure a way to break-up with this old flame and be nothing but exclusive with me.

I consulted the IC because I feel that this new relationship is very 'labour-intensive": we don't see each other often (once every 2 weeks) and it seems that I am always suggesting meetings. I still haven't been swept off my feet or felt the spark so often felt when starting a new relationship. Eventhough my love life is this way, the rest of my life is joyous and happy: I have everything I could wish for and I carry my smile and leave some smiles to all I meet. (See, I am sending you all one right now... )

Any interpretation on your part is gladly appreciated.

 

[icastes]

54 is basically bad for marriage in the sense that you would be a second wife or mistress (which for the ancient Chinese is not a good thing). You really are not suited to each other for marriage. It is also not good for love (love and marriage are two different things). Usually, there is a momentary period of tender affection, but then the lovers break up. If, however, you are a barmaid, a cabaret girl, etc., then you can make a good patron out of the man.

 

[rodaki]

hey there odette,

someone made a comment to me once about 54 and being bitter and ever since I see the two going together. So anything that leaves you feeling that you get less than you deserve, carrying the most weight on the job, unsupported or unsatisfied can go under 54 -pretty much what you have described in your post already. That doesn't mean that this is how it's gonna be period, that depends on how you two handle things, it just mirrors the present and maybe your insecurities and doubts about any future developments . .

back at you

 

[ginnie]

Often getting hex 54 with no changing lines implies the presence of another woman, senior to yourself, who is in charge of this situation. You would need to defer to her or be very tactful with her.

He says he plans to break up with her and be exclusively with you. Realistically speaking, since you got hex 54 unchanging, that isn't going to happen.

He might however become a free man again sometime in the future if she decides to break it off with him -- because she is the one who is calling all the shots.

Don't blame him. You have the benefit of your IC reading, which makes this much clearer, but he does not have this understanding.

I just want to add: Maybe you don't really mind not having a full-time husband or companion. You may be very busy with your career or very involved with other activities. You are cautioned to think ahead into the future, however. Would you still be happy with a part-time arrangement with this man in another 10 to 15 years? Or would you regret having wasted all your time?

A hex 54 unchanging situation does not always turn out badly. It does not always leave one feeling bitter. How it turns out depends on what you want and the spirit in which you approach relationships.

Best wishes to you, Odette.

 

[patro]

hey Odette,

54 is a bad hex... the meaning is that all efforts will "bring/change" nothing... you'll come up where you began.

my advice is to change tactic... ask how to invest your resources about.
the Yi will tell you if you have some alternatives.

hope to help

Patro

 

[heh yu]

Hello odette,

Here is my view.

Hex 54 indicates the rinciple of appropriate social relatedness. Ask yourself "what is my goal in this matter?" and "Are my actions appropriate to achieve this goal?"

Is it appropriate for you to pursue him? Or is it appropriate for him to pursue you? Or is it mutual prusuit?

The Judgement for Hex 54 indicates that pressing forward now brings misfortune and sugests maintaining a passive stance.


May it be well with you. :bows:

 

[anemos]

How will our relationship evolve from now on? and received hex. 54 unchanging.

.

Hi

There is something beautiful in H54. With the risk to ovesimplify it, A word I have relate to 54 is concent. I prefer that word and to me 54 is not about comprimising but concenting.
also, 54 is about ephemeral and eternal. Concent for something ephemeral and focucing and working about something longlasting. which is what , you know.

 

[anemos]

lol, that is really funny !!!

I just asked about something that was postpone for reasons beyond the control of the involeved parts. I was emotionally prepare to do it this Friday, but that is not possible . I got a bit frustrated because its unknown when I can do that , so I asked Yi and Yi gave me 54 no changing lines !!! huh !

 

[anon]

In my experience 54 unchanging, it's a no go, not a good idea, don't do anything, don't attempt anything (at least for the moment)

I know it's an old thread but I wanted to give my 2 cents on the hex. =)

 

[white owl]

I think this Hex 54..implies to your situation to mean, that you are powerless over changing your partner. I find when I get hex 54 its not just what the textbooks or references say..not so black & white. You mentioned that u & him are going through some counseling, so I see within your thread & the immediate advice, that is usually about growth from th Yi. Its saying that you are powerless & same for him too..you cannot change each other's personalities. You cannot create things or make something happen overnight. With unchanging lines its defo saying turn it over, let it go..no power struggles.

 

[BlindedFox]

I agree with White Owl. 54 uc is about personalities not compatible with each other.

L1, invisible, nobody sees you
L2, they see you, but you are being ignored.
L.3 you shimmer too much
L.4 they make you wait
L.5 you become second, concubine, mistress, lover
L.6 they rejected you.

This one is not for you. You should let it go unless you want to learn about boundaries, as karmic path.

 

[Trojina]

This thread is 12 years old, posted in 2010. The querent last visited Clarity in 2011.

It's a good idea if looking through the archives to note the date of the thread. One problem is with adding advice or comment after this long is that other readers assume the thread is current, they just read the first post and start replying too, replying to someone who had the problem 12 years ago and who isn't here any more. That's a waste of your time and everyone else's. I assume you thought it was current but even the date of the last post that you are agreeing with says 2011. Wondering why you thought it was current as it must have been way way down the list of threads given it was first posted in 2010 with the last reply in 2011.

But come to think of it there is a banner that pops up now when replying to an ancient thread with no recent replies that says 'this is an old thread' and that particularly is prompting you to check the date. I mean sometimes people still want to add a comment etc but they tend now to say 'I know this is a very old thread but I want to add xyz' or they make it clear they are just asking for an update which goes some way to avoiding the situation where 3 other people, thinking it's a new thread, write thoughtful readings to a problem and querent long gone.