I asked about believing in a relationship. 15.3.5 to 8

[Wooding]

I asked about believing in a relationship. To be honest, it does not seem promising. I see him at work. He has maintained an interest. Still he has a girlfriend he has been dating for about a year. That is not changing. I kind of fell head or heels. Some physical hugging and stuff. I am trying not to be devastated. Any advice would be helpful. Iching reading15.3.5 to 8

 

[rosada]

8. Seeking Union
"Seeking Union" is about seeking the right sort of union. Your aim here is to have an appropriate relationship with this man.

15.3
"The superior man carries things to conclusion" As he did not immediately conclude his relationship with his girlfriend then you must consider this flirtation concluded.

15.5
"Not boosting of one's wealth before one's neighbor. It is favorable to attack with force. Nothing that would not further."

"Not boosting of one's wealth before one's neighbor." =
Don't ever refer to the slip up that happened between the two of you.

"It is favorable to attack with force. " =
Make a strong show of treating him as simply a fellow employee (if he says anything flirty just roll your eyes like, "omg, I can't believe we ever did such stupid stuff.")

"Nothing that would not further" =
Then no problem will come from this incident and your friendship may even be strengthened.

 

[Wooding]

8. Seeking Union
"Seeking Union" is about seeking the right sort of union. Your aim here is to have an appropriate relationship with this man.

15.3
"The superior man carries things to conclusion" As he did not immediately conclude his relationship with his girlfriend then you must consider this flirtation concluded.

15.4
"Not boosting of one's wealth before one's neighbor. It is favorable to attack with force. Nothing that would not further."

"Not boosting of one's wealth before one's neighbor." =
Don't ever refer to the slip up that happened between the two of you.

"It is favorable to attack with force. " =
Make a strong show of treating him as simply a fellow employee (if he says anything flirty just roll your eyes like, "omg, I can't believe we ever did such stupid stuff.")

"Nothing that would not further" =
Then no problem will come from this incident and your friendship may even be strengthened.

 

[Wooding]

Hard pill. Working on this. Thank you for the clear direction.

 

[Trojina]

15.5 advises if you aren't getting what you want where you are be realistic and look elsewhere.. It's a very proactive line.

You didn't get line 4 you got 15.3.5>8 so I don't know why Rosada wrote line 4, typo ?

 

[Trojina]

It's a very pragmatic answer and I think it's pushing you a bit to understand you must have what you need. If he can't provide it you need to gain satisfaction elsewhere.

The yang pattern is 39, the yin pattern 38. This has felt quite hard and lonely (39) so you need to get to really shifting how you view this(38). I don't think the neighbours in line 5 are blameless, they are ones you would expect to support you and they aren't. By 'them' I think him. He's been giving you plenty of signals by the sound of it but not delivering the goods ! It's like someone offering a meal when you are hungry but not letting you eat.


So Yi is changing the pace a bit here with the 8 also. 8, time to decide who and where you belong with as almost a matter of urgency. Time is of the essence here. If he does have any intentions towards you he needs to show them otherwise you don't have the time to waste in pining for him when you could be having a more fulfilling time elsewhere. I think 15.3 urges you to be pragmatic but also it does show work being completed so maybe the work you do together needs to be properly finished, well Yi says things can be accomplished. Invariably with this line there is actual work to do and it shows one completing it with integrity, I think Yi is pointing you to the work here, that's a big part of it in some way. I mean I know you work together but the thing you are working on, the actual work matters too.

 

[Wooding]

Working through it. Painful. I imagine I will deal with tbe pain for a while. Setting my path in another direction is a solid position but painful. Thank ypu, Trojina.

 

[Trojina]

Crossed posts I just posted another fuller post.

 

[Wooding]

Working through it. Painful. I imagine I will deal with tbe pain for a while. Setting my path in another direction is a solid position but painful. Thank ypu, Trojina.

Crossed posts I just posted another fuller post.

 

[Wooding]

Thank you. Because this is so all consuming, I asked how to deal with this compulsion and fantasizing about the man at work. I received a solid, 8. Trying to lead with purpose and integrety.

 

[rosada]

Thanks for catching that Trojina. Fixed now.

 

[Wooding]

Thanks for catching that Trojina. Fixed now.

So any further tboughts, Rosada?

 

[rosada]

The reading is still the same, I had just written 15.4 when I meant 15.5.

 

[Wooding]

The reading is still the same, I had just written 15.4 when I meant 15.5.

Struggling.

 

[rosada]

Maybe ask the I Ching for advice on how to deal with this. Get up and move around! Listen to songs with lyrics that plant positive suggestions like "I Will Survive"! Or if it's really bad listen to Walt Disney's "It's a Small World" - that will infect your brain for a couple of hours but at least you wont be thinking about you know who!

 

[Wooding]

Maybe ask the I Ching for advice on how to deal with this. Get up and move around! Listen to songs with lyrics that plant positive suggestions like "I Will Survive"! Or if it's really bad listen to Walt Disney's "It's a Small World" - that will infect your brain for a couple of hours but at least you wont be thinking about you know who!

Awe, thank you. It sits there like something that will not go away. Trying to stay busy, meditate, read. The moving on does not come easily. I posted that I asked how to deal with tbis compulsion or fantisizing. Iching gave me 8 with no changing lines. I think I need a project. We do not work together until Sunday. I have an intentional group on Sunday earlier that should help. Also online church type thing. I am learning the practices of Buddism and follow the Christian way as much as I can. Christ in everything. I use Center Prayer.
Very Jungian also. Reading the Red Book now.