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I wanted a solution but I got hex.29

moonlightsonata

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Hello there :D I'll state in advance I'm thankful for any help anyone would offer in this reading.

Well, I should probably give a summary to help correct? So it would be something along these lines. I fell in love with this girl. Head over heels may I add and perhaps I should have heard the warning bells but alas... too late.

In many ways, it was obviously doomed as she has a boyfriend, but I can't keep my distance especially because she seems to notice me. I'm lovesick and blue, begging myself to let go of this but still stuck in silly hopes. I'm not proud of myself this I assure anyone who might ask but... can't let go no matter how hard I try. :brickwall:

I asked something like

1. what are her feelings for me at present; I got hex. 9 line 6 so... it would be that she is quite content with whatever she has...?

2. what should I know about her feelings towards me: hex. 58 lines 2 and 5. She doesn't take me seriously then? Because line 5 usually means to trust someone who would hurt us.

3. what she wants from me now; hex. 26. line 3 :confused:

4. what I need to do about her: hex.29 unchanging. It's pretty bad... maybe the iching said: hey, kid, start praying for a miracle or something. Oh man... I'm screwed

Am I right in this? Any help given much appreciated.

Great happiness,
by moonlightsonata.
 

gene

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Hello Moonlight

Disregarding the I Ching for a moment... Lets just put it this way. Anytime we men start liking a woman too much, we screw ourselves, doesn't matter if she is with someone else, or even if she likes us, because becoming too hooked on a woman comes across as a lack of confidence, and it comes across as a neediness. Hey, I didn't make the rules. Women do not think like we do. It is just the way it is, and I am convinced more and more in life that men and women just do not understand each other, period. So first thing, forget her, then you might have a better chance with her. Second, quit telling yourself your screwed. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But if you are hooked on her, you are. And as long as you think you are, you are. Mind talk is important.

So, in hexagram twenty nine, The trigrams of the hexagram are dark trigrams. They represent an abyss. And the more we get hooked on someone, the more of an abyss it becomes for us. But there is implicit in the text a way out. The water just fills up the abyss and then it flows on. It doesn't worry about anything, it just does what is in its nature to do. So too you, you must let go of any mental ideas of being hooked, and start not being able to care less, when we don't care, we free the other person of an inner pressure, then if there is a connection, that connection will work, as long as we are not "trying to make it work." But there has to be an inner connection. If there isn't it won't work. If there is, then no effort is needed. And when we take this attitude, we can allow life to work for us without having anxiety.

Gene
 

dragona

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Hello Moonlight

Disregarding the I Ching for a moment... Lets just put it this way. Anytime we men start liking a woman too much, we screw ourselves, doesn't matter if she is with someone else, or even if she likes us, because becoming too hooked on a woman comes across as a lack of confidence, and it comes across as a neediness. Hey, I didn't make the rules. Women do not think like we do. Gene

It is not right to think like that. Playing games comes out from what you just wrote here and to a woman, it is the most hurtful thing. I suppose it may have to do with many things, but a man who would love me and needed me on his side as much as he would be by mine, I would think to be anything but needy.

I was recently led to understand that hex 29 un could be a case of also puting us back into old paterns of feelings/behavior/situation, so perhaps looking into thaat may help on the subject.
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=15260
Good luck, break a leg, believe, d.
 

gene

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I'm not talking about playing games. I am talking about a mindset that works. Men do not get anywhere with women when they fall all over them. That is just fact. I am talking about really letting go. Not playing a game. But thanks for writing, it helps me understand where and when I am being misunderstood.

Gene
 

dragona

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I was thinking that if a man gets what you clame as a fact -"I will not get her because I am so much in love with her" then he will most probably resort to games playing - acting he does not care, playing cool, etc, whatever....I know of a case - a man letting go completely and they are engaged to be married. I would rather think it is individual within the "game". Hard to be moderate in such extreme emotional situations.
 

hopex

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i see 29 as learning to navigate the difficult times in life - like driving
- the more experience you get of driving though mountain passes etc
the better you become at 'life'
difficulties will always come up in life and we need a strategy for them.

as for love - there are many types of love according to greeks

if someone is attracted to me i have a gift for them...

i agree your mindset is negative as is your self talk and will surely
bring you pain. Better out than in I say....

ask Yi what will happen if i declare my feelings to this girl (after all
faint heart never won a fair maiden)

if you love her you will bear in mind the effect that would have on her
- if she is not married engaged - is she? the all is to play for thats why in
the films men run in the church at the last minute to claim the woman they love.

daftness aside - honesty the best policy. But be man enough to say you will be
backed off if thats what she wants and that you dont want to confuse her.

before you get your jock strap knotted - do you love this girl enough to marry her...
if not dont go charging because you are in lust.

know how to navigate your own dark places 29
 

gene

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dragona

That was not what I was saying at all, but let's just leave it at that. I know what you are talking about. I certainly don't like it being that way, but it is. I wish it could be different, but it isn't.

Gene
 

bamboo

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a declaration of passionate love for a woman is the best aphrodisiac.

a man can surely let a woman know how he feels for her without "falling all over her" in a pathetic way. Think Romeo at the balcony: brave and fearless.
If you don't make the first move, you lose because nothing will happen. 26.3 means she wants you to lead the way.
58.2 she wants exchange
58.5 she does not know if she can trust you, isn't sure of our intentions.
Good luck moonlightsonata. taking the plunge is frightening and dangerous 29, but is the only way to find out if she will respond.
 

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