Im over-analyzing 54.1.5>47 !! what shld I do?

[armchairpsychotherapist]

Hello. This is my first post and I didnt want to be relationship question asker #51,629,152,645,246 but here I am.. Im pretty new to this forum and Ive tried to read about asking questions more effectively and not asking a million questions in a row and so on, so today my ONE question I carefully worded was:

"What should be my approach to have the best possible outcome in my relationship with (boyfriend)?"

Answer: 54.1.5 The Marrying Maiden (ugh) changing to 47 Oppression (double ugh!)

So Ive read and read on this site and others about each hex and the changing lines and I have to admit I chronically over-react and over-analyze (and over-hyphenate) everything and I just dont know what the Yi is telling me here. I have a few different ideas in mind and theyre quite different.
All the interpretations seem to be about compromising, but also seemingly about another woman. One woman is older, one is younger. I have a couple of conflicting ideas about this and I really need to know who the Yi is talking about here so I can make a decision. Im older than him by 14 years so is it saying if I want to be with him Im going to have to accept that hes younger and will be cheating on me with younger women and Ill get tired of it? OR he's close to his mother and that I will be playing second fiddle to her forever and will get tired of that? Which she is lovely and I honestly love her to death and look up to her. Also he has a VERY controlling and opressive aunt that doesnt like me and Im wondering if she could be a factor. All these things I need to figure out because if its a question of his mother or his aunt, I can deal with that and compromise. But if the Yi is warning me that I will be the older woman whose dress is not as pretty as the younger women in his life.. then no. I need to know the answer.
I dont want to ask 27 questions to try to figure out whats going on. And then Oppression. Im sure that doesnt mean I shoud oppress him and thats the way to have a good outcome lol! I read one interpretation of 47 that said somthing about "emotional hunger" and "being seperated from the one you love" and I thought, does this mean he will leave me? or is it his his aunt that I already know is trying to keep us apart? I confuse myself and over think everything. Im just trying to understand and see how the reading relates to my queston of how I asked what my approach should be.. which I know the Yi doesnt always directly answer the question the way we ask it, but Im trying to understand. I ust dont want to end this if I dont have to.
Then I feel silly basing my relationship on this.. UGH! I need help!
Yours truly,
ArmchairPsychotherapist

 

[dragona]

Hello...first of all - relax.
I will try to say something from my not so wast Yi experiance, because I totaly get your obsessive way of thinking..and further more, I get hex 54 when I am obsessing (about men that are not worthy to obsess about - so, we are talking almost entire species).
I don`t know what is the current status of the relationship, but maybe you ask because there is a feeling of exhaustion (caused by obessing perhaps?) from trying too hard to fit in, to please everybody you have mention above and so you end up feeling discouraged and shortened- out.

I also think that you take the lines from the Book to literaly. I don`t like to let myself stretch the meaning too wide because I could end up totaly lost, but too literaly is not the way to go, I dare say.
Lines 1 and 5 are auspicious ones, they speak of a good potential for the relationship to grow.
1st one speaks of your entering the relationship, a new situation, perhaps in not the most favourable surroundings,or terms (the age difference may be one of those issues) but still you can persevere and make progress.
1. The first NINE, undivided, shows the younger sister married off in a position ancillary to the real wife. (It suggests the idea of) a person lame on
one leg who yet manages to tramp along. Going forward will be fortunate.
5th line suggest that you will in time - by working on your relationship, by increasing the trust and intimacy, make your relationship more firm and serious in nature. To me this line suggest a gradual progress, from modesty to fulness.
5. The fifth SIX, divided, reminds us of the marrying of the younger sister of (king) Tî-yî, when the sleeves of her the princess were not equal to those of the (still) younger sister who accompanied her in an inferior capacity. (The case suggests the thought of) the moon almost full. There will be good fortune.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/ich/ic54.htm
Hope this helps a bit

 

[armchairpsychotherapist]

Thank you for your insight and understanding. I do obsess and it does wear me out. You hit so many nails on their heads, but our relationship is actually wonderful right now. Which I think is why Im so scared. Im waiting for it to go wrong. Or Im afraid it will be wonderful for ten years and Ill be 45 and he'll be 30 and I wont be pretty anymore or whatever and Ill be devastated. Hes everything Ive ever wanted.
Also, Im a single mom and this is the first man Ive had in my daughters life, which makes me nervous. Its amazing how naturally he's taken to being like a father to her, and I dont want her to get used to that and then lose it. Its one thing to never really have one, but to have one and then lose him is worse I think. I know only time will tell but god Im scared to death. All the men Ive been with that I really never took seriously and in the back of my head knew I wasnt going to be with, it hurt to say goodbye to them, but this one is so special and different and thinking of losing him terrifies me.

p.s. I talk a lot

 

[dragona]

So you are happy, everything is going well, but you just worry anyway....mmmmm...my kind of a woman fear of hapiness is a legitimate as any other one, I guess...

My impression is that you are trying to please everyone arround you too much; build your strenght within you nuclear family, that should give you self-confidence you need and the man will simply be too content to leave you his family will accept the obvious fact of him being happy with you. That should empower you emensly - from line 1 to line 5
What will happen in the future, no one knows - but if you were to die tomorrow, wouldn`t you rather remember and be remembered by love you shared or worrying over sharing it? (sorry to be too blunt). Worrying too much soltens the happy moments and it creates an different atmosphere arround you - a concubine should smile more and dance for her man, don`t you think?

“The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be, there is only what is.”
Lenny Bruce