Impossible situation and hexagram 18

[dparzxx]

Hello everyone,

I've been following this forum for some time now. I'm not new to the I-Ching, but I'm not an expert either.

Lately, I've been facing an impossible situation, one where I am called to accept the unacceptable. Literally.I cannot go into much detail or be very specific about it, it's hard to explain. Suffice it to say, that life at the moment is asking me to play a subservient role that I find very hard to play. Anyway, something tells me that if I choose to do what I'm asked to do, it will be good in the long run for my soul. My ego of course is taking a good beating.

I asked the I-Ching what will happen if I accept the challenge and subordinate myself to that person who has bruised me again and again (imagine being in the army and following orders blindly by someone you despise. In fact, here I'm asked to be led and take orders by my ex and her boyfriend for whom she left me.)

I got 35.1.2.3 changing to 14. Very positive!

Then I asked what would happen if I chose to go alone, walk the path on my own and independent. I got hexagram 18, no changing lines.

Does that mean that if I follow the second path, the result would be decay and death? Or that I can work by myself on what is rotten right now and repair it?

I'm sorry I haven't been more specific. Any ideas and help would be appreciated.

Ambrose.

 

[bruce]

Hi Ambrose,

Tough one. It's sometimes difficult to understand why we're led into these sorts of humiliating experiences. We can take solace, however, that it isn't the enduring condition we first imagine it to be, but more a way to say to the universe, ok, I'm open to this, even though I must swallow my pride to do so. Progressing in sorrow is still progressing. Pride is a huge thing to swallow, but there appears to be significant rewards to gain by doing so. Whereas, going it on your own at this time seems to present even greater challenges in overcoming the deterioration, which you are faced with to overcome.

Just remember, nothing lasts forever, and that your life's lessons will be learned, one way or the other. Submitting to an embarrassing situation doesn't mean it won't change in a positive way as a result once the karmic debt is settled, and once the decay has been overcome. Your spirit can remain free in any situation, if it?s strong enough. Perhaps that is the lesson you are being taught?

 

[lightofdarkness]

Hex 18 deals with correcting corruption. It covers the need for continuous communication to ensure no misunderstandings in a relationship - otherwise the neglect can allow things to 'rot'.

18 has its generic quality, its raw, skeletal, form described by analogy to hex 11 - hex 11 is about harmonising, balancing, and so being an agent of mediation. You can see here this 'seeding' of 18 to focus on dealing with issues of neglect etc.

In turn 18 describes the generic, raw, qualities of 11 with the focus on correcting and so on mediation etc.

The dynamics through 18 overall, its 'completion' element is described by analogy to the characteristics of hex 61 - there is a perpetual focus on the use of empathising where without that neglect sets in - iow the focus is on this continued communication of small changes to ensure everyone is on the same page, resonating (61) rather than going off the rails.

Chris.

 

[frank]

Hi Ambrose,

Looking at the answers Ambrose I would say that letting yourself be led by the process it would be a great opportunity to share what you have to share towards others for yourself, so you start to become feeling a lot better about yourself, and by dealing this alone you have to work on what has been spoiled, something that is NOT within you, but in the other party... By showing that you stand above it (the sun in 35...!) you can overcome it and show yourself better (14) then standing on your own dealing with things that not even are yours to deal with... (18)....

Hang in there.
Frank

 

[lagunader]

Hi Ambrose.

One of the translation of 18 is Remedying.
some of the lines deal with not looking at the past or asking why , but moving forward.
I always felt that consulting several translation followed by proper meditation provide a decisive
answer. You and only you can determine what the Sage is communicating to YOU.

 

[rosada]

Hi Ambrose,
I think the I Ching is telling you that progress cannot be made while your ex is behaving inapproriately. It encourages you to be calm and suggests this may lead to their wanting to shape up, in which case all will be well. 18 seems to be telling how you should handle it if simply being decent doesn't open their eyes, that is, 18 says to speak up and warn them how you feel as this may bring about change, versus just quitting.

To give you the details of my thinking..
35 says, "Progress emanates from a man who is in a dependent position and WHOM OTHERS REGARD AS THEIR EQUAL' Sounds to me that the I ching is saying working with your ex only works when they treat you as an equal, even if you are in a dependant situation.

35.1 addresses how you should act in the current situation, "the right thing to do is simply to continue in what is right; in the end this will bring good fortune. It maybe that we meet with no confidence. In this case we ought not try to win confidence regardless of the situation, but should remain calm and cheerful and refuse to be roused ot anger. Thus we remain free of mistakes." So it's certainly not advising you to tody to bullying tactics!

35.2 Encourages continuing on working with them, and suggests they may even come to realize their behavior is inappropriate.

35.3 This holds out hope that your assosciation may yet harmonize, but note it only works when you are in "association with others whose backing encourages" you. Thus if you and the ex and friend do not come to a more supportive arrangement the Abundance promised in 14 does not manefest. 14 is the outcome of you three working as equals.

The answer to your next question, "Would i be better off working alone?" is Working on What Has been Spoiled. I think the I ching is telling you here that rather than working on your own, you would be better using your energies to resolve the issues with the "friends" and hexagram 18 tells you how: "Before starting three days. After starting, three days. The Superior man stirs up the people and strengthens their spirit." Thus, don't just quit. Tell people you are about to quit, Give them "3 days" notice, stir them up, strengthen the spirit of co-operation by saying you are not going to go on this way any longer. Then if they promise to improve, watch for "three days". Do the improvements last? The I Ching hints that they will. If not, well, it's a wide world with lots of opportunities....

 

[dparzxx]

Hi guys,

thank you all for your help and support. I will take some time to ponder over your advice. For some reason, I still believe that the first path will be the most advantageous in the long run, albeit tough.

 

[dobro p]

"I asked the I-Ching what will happen if I accept the challenge and subordinate myself to that person who has bruised me again and again (imagine being in the army and following orders blindly by someone you despise. In fact, here I'm asked to be led and take orders by my ex and her boyfriend for whom she left me.)

I got 35.1.2.3 changing to 14. Very positive!"

Yes, that's right. It's very positive: honor, advancement, and possession of a very positive orientation.

"Then I asked what would happen if I chose to go alone, walk the path on my own and independent. I got hexagram 18, no changing lines."

Hex 18 is also positive. It talks about some longstanding problem coming to light and finally getting worked through.

If I compare the two questions/responses, then I'd say something like this: if you submit to the situation, you'll advance if you stick to your standards. But if you abandon the situation and go it alone, you'll be required to face and deal with aspects of yourself that have long been needing some attention. Each is very positive in its own way. The first way will take you into the light, and the second way will take you into the shadows suddenly illuminated by light. Both positive.

"Does that mean that if I follow the second path, the result would be decay and death?"

Not at all.

"Or that I can work by myself on what is rotten right now and repair it?"

More like that, yes.

 

[cavarose]

But if you abandon the situation and go it alone, you'll be required to face and deal with aspects of yourself that have long been needing some attention. Each is very positive in its own way. The first way will take you into the light, and the second way will take you into the shadows suddenly illuminated by light. Both positive.

The best way to approach ANYONE you encounter is with fearless empathy, and an open heart (supported by modest self-confidence).

Thank you for this most raw and uplifting response! I wanted you to know 13 years later your words are still of great service!!

 

[foxx777]

Hello everyone,

I've been following this forum for some time now. I'm not new to the I-Ching, but I'm not an expert either.

Lately, I've been facing an impossible situation, one where I am called to accept the unacceptable. Literally.I cannot go into much detail or be very specific about it, it's hard to explain. Suffice it to say, that life at the moment is asking me to play a subservient role that I find very hard to play. Anyway, something tells me that if I choose to do what I'm asked to do, it will be good in the long run for my soul. My ego of course is taking a good beating.

I asked the I-Ching what will happen if I accept the challenge and subordinate myself to that person who has bruised me again and again (imagine being in the army and following orders blindly by someone you despise. In fact, here I'm asked to be led and take orders by my ex and her boyfriend for whom she left me.)

I got 35.1.2.3 changing to 14. Very positive!

Then I asked what would happen if I chose to go alone, walk the path on my own and independent. I got hexagram 18, no changing lines.

Does that mean that if I follow the second path, the result would be decay and death? Or that I can work by myself on what is rotten right now and repair it?

I'm sorry I haven't been more specific. Any ideas and help would be appreciated.

Ambrose.

Strangely I am in a very similar situation and also feel it’s too complex to explain, and I’ve gotten some castings which have given me the courage to accept and deal with the “unacceptable“.

I think your first casting is also extremely encouraging so do take heart. I also think you can work with hexagram 18 in tandem with the first casting, by addressing on your own issues of decay within the situation.
Best wishes.