Insight required 14.1 to 50

[Syrah70]

Dear All,

I'm rather a newbie with Yi and very appreciative about this website and forum.

Although often I intuitively catch the meaning I'm have a hard time figuring out this one out and I'm hoping that you can shed some light.

To give you some background on things:
My partner of 7-years and I had a hefty altercation about a month ago. During which I hit him and told him to go away. He left and I haven't heard from him since. Pressured by a mutual friend he filed a police report for domestic violence of which I haven't heard since either. The altercation imo was a result of being in a poor non-communicative relationship, having financial issues, me being unemployed for the first time in my life and me having a depression for quite a while and having a huge number of people around the house that particular weekend. I wanted things to change, but I didn't mean to break up.

I'm not sure that I'm sad that the relationship ended, although I do miss him. However I feel bad and guilty about the physical part. I have to admit that I have an anger issue I'm in counseling for. Like I said we have not even been on speaking terms since that weekend. My dad and his wife are trying to be the intermediaries in order to get the mundane things sorted (we own a house, have debts and pets), of which he shows no interest at all.The day after he left he withdrew all his money and is not making any financial contributions to the household anymore. All I know is that he told my dad that he's glad to be done with me and that he realizes that there will be issues to be dealt with in due time.

To my surprise he agreed to meet them coming Monday to discuss the financial matters. So I thought I would actually write him a letter apologizing for my actions. I actually wrote the letter, but then got second thoughts about it.

Therefore I asked Yi, but cannot make much of what it's trying to tell me.

Question 1:
What would be the outcome if I write X a personal letter?
Yi: 14.1 to 50

Question 2:
What should this letter contain?
Yi: 3.3 to 63

Question 3:
What will he do with the letter? Can I trust him to read it and keep it to himself?
Yi: 13.4.5 to 22

Maybe I didn't phrase my questions correctly. In any case I'm lost here.

Thank you very much in advance for reading and looking forward to anyone's reply!

 

[cris]

Edwald Berkers' translation:

14.1
"Disassociating from harm.
Not blaming the difficulty, and thus without blame.

Disengaging from harmful actions. One is not taking the easy route of doing nothing, claiming it is too much trouble. Therefore one is not to blame."

Pretty apt to the situation, don't you think? You realize your behavior was inappropriate and apologize. What could go wrong with it? The worst case scenario is that it may not make any difference - and in fact Yi does not seem to show any specific outcome.

Just my two cents. Good luck!

 

[Syrah70]

Thanks Cris, I guess I'm in too much turmoil at the moment.

 

[xuesongyu]

Question 1: What would be the outcome if I write X a personal letter?
The code of Hex 14.1 says "there is no conflict of interest, so there is no trouble." The hex code of Hex 50 says "You will have great luck. Everything will be prosperous." So I think the result is not too bad.

Question 2: What should this letter contain?
The hex name of Hex 3 is "a hard beginning", the code of line 3 says "A man is going to the mountains for hunting; he goes into the woods alone without a guide. He should keep alert and come back, if he goes on to move forward, he will have trouble."(This codes shows a person has gone the wrong way and lost his parter, he would like to keep alert and come back)
The hex code of Hex 63 says "At first you have good luck, but finally there will be a new challenge. "
So you should told him that you have made a mistake and lost yourself in a few days before, so you want to correct your mistake and return to the right way, you want a new beginning of your relationship. Besides, at first you have a good relationship with him, but you should adjust and improve your relationship with the times.

Question 3: What will he do with the letter? Can I trust him to read it and keep it to himself?
The hex code of Hex 13 says "the fellows smile through tears; the troops defeat the enemies and join forces successfully". It is a good sign that you may restore good relations with him. The code of Hex 22 says "decoration makes everything seem better", perhaps I Ching suggests you insert a picture in your letter.
---------------------------------------------
I Ching Codes Predicting the Future
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KRPT8G0/

 

[Syrah70]

Dear cris and xuesongyu,

I appreciate you replying to my questions and your replies are starting to sink in. The actual letter I wrote in minutes and even after reading it again I do not seem to want to change anything I wrote; however due to the fact that I'm in so much turmoil at the moment I'm afraid that my judgment might be clouded and I want to be sure that I'm doing this for the right reasons and not because of any ulterior motives I might have.

So I ask Yi: What are my intentions sending the letter to X?
As answer I got: 59.6>29

Leaving me baffled and feeling rather sad and I'm hoping that once more you can give me your input.

Many thanks in advance!

 

[cris]

Hey Syrah,

your new casting strikes an amazing resemblance to the first (14.1). Once again Edwald Berkers' translation:

59.6
"Scattering one's blood.
Leaving to go far away.
Without fault.

Leaving a harmful situation, so as to get to safety. It is not wrong to do so."

Now, what the harmful situation is is for you to determine. It would appear to be the physical reaction (and the supposed police report) for which you want to make amends. However, it may also be the relationship itself which you define poor and troubled, and which seems not to have helped you through your depression / anger problems.

If I were you I would focus on the "without fault" part. I received this line a few years ago about a relationship which had ended unexpectedly, and despite it sounding ominous and dramatic it just confirmed that things were as they should.

All the very best and let us know how it goes!

 

[xuesongyu]

Hex 59.6 says "Disperse your extravasated blood by bloodletting therapy in order to keep away from disease"(according to Chinese medicine, the doctor can cure a patient by acupuncture, which means inserting the tips of needles at specific points on the skin). Hex 29 means risk and difficult position.
So your intentions sending the letter to X is clearing up misunderstanding(just like treating a disease), and you also want X to help you get out of the difficult position.
------------------------------------
I Ching Codes Predicting the Future
http://www.amazon.com/kindle/dp/B00KRPT8G0

Dear cris and xuesongyu,

I appreciate you replying to my questions and your replies are starting to sink in. The actual letter I wrote in minutes and even after reading it again I do not seem to want to change anything I wrote; however due to the fact that I'm in so much turmoil at the moment I'm afraid that my judgment might be clouded and I want to be sure that I'm doing this for the right reasons and not because of any ulterior motives I might have.

So I ask Yi: What are my intentions sending the letter to X?
As answer I got: 59.6>29

Leaving me baffled and feeling rather sad and I'm hoping that once more you can give me your input.

Many thanks in advance!

 

[Syrah70]

Hi,

Many thanks for support. I learnt that he was reluctant to take the letter, but in the end he took it with him. Currently all communication is done via my parents. They informed me that he agreed to deal with the business side of the relationship, but that he doesn't want to have any contact with me anymore. Steps are underway to dissolve the relationship. I hope nevertheless that in due time we'll be able to talk to each other and work things through even if that means going separate ways in the end.

 

[Syrah70]

Dear All,

A quick update. I learnt via my dad that he said thanks to the beautiful letter. Those were his literal words. We are still not on speaking terms in any shape or form, although it seems that he's creating openings as again according to others he doesn't sound that fatalistic anymore. Momentarily I don't feel like contacting him neither as I'm too insecure emotionally and feel I have to find some strength inside myself first.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts with me.

 

[Syrah70]

I know this is an ancient post of mine. Someone dear pointed out to me, that it is important to update threads . And to be honest she definitely has a point! For anyone using the forum here it would be nice to get the full story and to learn from others’ experiences.

So here we go:

Writing the letter helped me tremendously emotionally and in a sense I regained some control over the situation. Because I did something instead of just feeling being utterly and completely stuck. I was at a very dark place then, already struggling with mental issues from pas traumas.

My ex vanished, stole my dad’s van and left me with €100.000 in debt. To the best of my abilities and with the help of my dad, we got to the bottom of all outstanding and I started making payment agreements with all parties involved including the bank (October 2014). About a year later a lady started chasing me, it turned out to be his receiver, who demanded selling the house. In June 2015 I unfortunately was rear ended on a motorway and have had substantial physical problems since. Due to that I was not able to take on his part of the mortgage. The bank did offer a possibility, but they declined because he would not be able to file for insolvency. I stayed on living in and paying for the house until they, the receiver and my ex-partner, took me to court and there he read excerpts of the letter, of course only the bits that suited him most. If at that time (and I honestly cannot remember - I think I must have suppressed it) I still had some compassion for him, it ended at that moment. Definitely an eyeopener for me. The judge at the time said, that it was not nice of him to do that. In any case I was summoned to put the house on the market and I finally did so in 2019, however all of his other claims were denied in court. In December 2023 I paid off my last installment of the entire debt. Personally I went into therapy, had a great psychiatrist and then rehab for months after the car accident).

In hindsight I’m glad I grew up, and saw his immaturity (14). At the time I didn’t understand what the beauty (22) would be. Now I see the gift of writing the letter as a) it allowed me to face my part b) to set myself free by regaining some control by acting and not only thinking about acting.

The 59.6 was clearly showing me not to try to rekindle the relationship, but to get away as far as possible as it was a very destructive relationship on both parts.

Hoping this will help anyone looking up my initial hexagrams and lines I received to my questions all those years ago.

 

[cris]

So sorry what looked like an abrupt break-up took you through so much unimaginable trouble, Syrah! What a journey. It’s great you finally made it through and can look back with some relief. Wishing you a brand new start in 2024 - all the very best!

 

[Syrah70]

Cris, thank you so much for your kind words. Wishing you all the very best for 2024 too