Internet Date

[susannah]

I started talking to a man on a dating site on Monday. We had messaged each other a couple of weeks previously and this was our first opportunity to chat. We got on well the next day too and arranged a date for Friday (tomorrow) with a time and a place, a nice restaurant actually. He had sent me a text so I have his number. About 7pm this evening I sent a text just to say are we still on for tomorrow? This was a bit of an impulse on my part. I was in the middle of other stuff and just felt an urge to do it.
No reply.

So I asked the oracle;

"What is his position in relation to me?"
61 3.5 > 26

"What are his intentions around the date?"
7 2.4 > 16

"What is my position in relation to him"
58 2.3.6 >13

So what are the chances of this date going ahead? Won't take long to update the thread with an outcome!

61.3 speaks of a companion but LiSe calls this an enemy
7.4 speaks of retreat.
58.3 speaks of empty pleasure

These are the prevailing lines.

If he does get in touch I'm tempted to say I've made other plans now, does he want to rearrange for another time. But I wonder if he'll get in touch at all....

The first cast looks promising.
16 can relate to empty illusions, painting pretty pictures.
And I find 13 is often about cliques.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you.

 

[susannah]

The more I contemplate the 3rd reading... 58... the I Ching does not seem to approve of internet dating!

 

[meng]

Yi's answers appear clear and very normal for a positive dating experience, to me. His intentions appear pretty typically enthused and legitimate. Have fun, don't over-think it, is my view. I think the questionable warnings pertain to your anxiety toward it, and the places that state of mind leads you to - retreating your army as one example. Meeting in a public place is always smart. His position is to discover more about you, based on your inner truth connection. It all sounds pretty safe and fun, and possibly more.

On 61.3, that sounds like an addendum, a reminder to remain free and content with or without this 'position' being filled. Those have always been the most attractive women to me. If you need someone else to be content and satisfied, the other person feels that as your need for them, which is usually a repelling force, and putting the cart before the horse. Things start on a 13 level and connect on a 61 level. Sounds good to me. Btw, I also see no enemy in 61.3, but I do agree with her commentary, though without such a defensive emphasis. Meeting with peers is a great way to discover more about them and about yourself.

 

[newlife123]

You have a date which is good thing. Don't kill it with the Yi Jing. You kind of sound impatient to me. It's just a casual date. If anything, the food might be really good.

 

[susannah]

Thank you for your uplifting reply Meng, but there was no response to my text and so no date.

... remain free and content with or without this 'position' being filled. Those have always been the most attractive women to me. If you need someone else to be content and satisfied, the other person feels that as your need for them, which is usually a repelling force, and putting the cart before the horse.

This is the happy place that I find myself in and a position that I am actively cultivating.
I've ridden the roller coaster that is internet dating in the past and this time I'm in a very different state of mind (and heart). I was lonely before but now I have some lovely friends around me and a good and happy social life. So I'm definitely coming from a place of quiet confidence and inner strength. And knowing my true worth in a 15 kind way. : )

This morning I got 3 texts from him saying that he went to the restaurant and had been texting and phoning me, but he had the wrong number. A bit odd, but I'm prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I think I'll suggest meeting for a quick after-work drink for an hour... just to get a proper look at him.... rather than a full on dinner.

I was quite concerned about those changing lines of 58. They reminded of something... a Buddhist lama, the one who was very into the West, The Beatles one I think... had visited a Western nightclub. When ever he was trying to describe the pointless, vacuous way of living that comes from a lack of spiritual awareness
and/or connection, he said "night-clubers" : )

So I thought the I Ching was trying to tell me something along those lines. That this is an empty activity, devoid of real connection, hollow, just to fill a void.

So I cast again : )

Please talk to me about Internet Dating
15.3>11
LiSe "When you are 'nice' to others, they will inevitably disappoint you, because you expect something back. Be yourself, that is the only way to give something of value. Only then you really give, and only then they really receive. The exchange will be full of life, for everyone involved, so you expect nothing, you already get plenty."

Very nice!

And then, because I thought I'd been stood up and ignored;
What can I learn from this experience?
15.2>46
LiSe "The best way to work together is to express oneself in a true way, free from any false notes like pride, false sentimentality, hypocrisy. True to one's own nature. Everybody will listen to inner value without pretensions. If you need a partner, search for one like this. "

Very good advice and spot on the reference to the type of partner I need!

I had been half tempted to send him some acidic barb about treating people with respect, but my normal mode in this type of situation is to keep a dignified silence. And that has proved to have been the best policy.

Overall, some really nice and useful readings.
Thanks again Meng.
I'll come back if anything develops : )

 

[susannah]

Hello newlife123

I don't think I'm impatient in this case.
I wanted to reconfirm the arrangements, which is sensible when you don't actually know someone, and when he didn't respond, I didn't go to the place. Would you have?

All comes out in the wash anyway : )

Have a nice weekend! : )

 

[newlife123]

Hello newlife123

I don't think I'm impatient in this case.
I wanted to reconfirm the arrangements, which is sensible when you don't actually know someone, and when he didn't respond, I didn't go to the place. Would you have?

All comes out in the wash anyway : )

Have a nice weekend! : )

Yeah it's hard to tell over the net what attitude is conveyed, I must have read it wrong. I've been in the situation where I took down the woman's contact information down wrong and couldn't reach her to confirm date plans and it is really stressful. I'm glad you guys were able to disperse some negative karma and start afresh.