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Interpretation help -- complicated love 45 -> 31

jackfroot

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A few weeks ago I took a trip with a group of friends, including a close friend of several years. He and I are both in longstanding romantic partnerships, and up to this point have had a deep and caring but strictly platonic relationship. During the trip, we spent some time together that crossed the boundary of friendship, and we expressed to each other mutual attraction and the desire for a romantic relationship together (although honoring that we are both currently in relationships, did not act on these feelings -- not even a kiss). We have since talked about it, and acknowledged that while we deeply care for and are attracted to one another, we cannot act on these feelings due to the point in our lives at which we met, and should try to channel them back into friendship and working together. We also acknowledged that we should each take some time to get insight into our feelings and motivations, and decided we would keep the door open for discussing this further. For my part, I have found it very difficult to let go and return to platonic friendship -- something in my gut tells me that this could and maybe should be more. I love my friend, and have to face the possibility that maybe I am IN love with him. For more context, I think it is safe to say that he and I are both in partnerships that have been good and stable, but not as spiritually satisfying as the connection that we seem to share.

In the few days following the trip, I consulted (probably over-consulted) the I-ching about him, about my current relationship, about what to do next, and felt I received the message to not take action and just be with this for now -- contemplate, become open and curious about the experience, take things slowly and one step at a time. I have been trying my best to do this. As a couple of weeks have gone by I have been shocked by how strongly I feel for him, and today I asked simply, "Can you give me an analysis of my relationship with this friend?" and received hexagram 45, line 3 changing to 31. I'm struggling to interpret -- it seems maybe to suggest that there is potential for a deeper relationship here (maybe even a romantic one?) and that I would regret walking away from this, even though the situation is difficult?

I would very much appreciate help interpreting this hexagram, as well as any advice about how to use the iChing for insight into this situation (what questions to ask and when) as I am fairly new to this. Thank you so much in advance.
 

iams girl

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Hi Ukelady,

I haven't had personal experience with line 45.3, but it sounds like it may end in humiliation if you take it much farther. Maybe if you keep more of an objective distance, you'll see things that aren't apparent at this time. Also, being new, I thought I'd suggest other options that I use on Clarity to find out what others have to said when I'm not sure about a line:

1) From the main menu under "Community," you'll find "Hexagram search" towards the right which lets you put in your reading to see other threads with the same reading, for example this response:
I do see advice to keep the exchange 'on the good foot,' i.e. positive, since it changes to 31.


2) Over in "Exploring Divination" one of the stickys at the top is "Memorizing threads" where Rosada and friends discussed every line of every hexagram. From 45, line 45.3:

yup 45.3 is a real miserable one IMO. I recall getting it once asking about going to stay with some people over a weekend - I thought possibly from the commentary i was using I wouldn't exactly fit in much but that it would be okay. It remains in my memory as one of the most miserable weekends in my life. And Wilhelm says "slight humiliation" Hah i think thats an understatement ! I would have liked Wilhelm to be there that weekend(well at least i could have talked to him i guess) Yes I have a downer on 45.3 if i get it i don't go there .....you might

3) Also, "WikiWing" under the "Change Circle" heading is Hilary's Yi Wikipedia, such as this experience someone posted: "the kind of relationship where the more you focus on it, the more you invest, the more anguish it brings."
 

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