interpretation help - reconciliation with a friend/past lover; 38,1 changing to 64

[Juniperist]

Hi there,

I have been estranged from a friend since we got involved with him and then parted ways. I do miss him but at the same time am not sure if he does, he is busy, never contacts me, and I feel too proud to contact him as he was the one who pushed me away...

He works in a very different field than mine and now there is a project he is working on voluntarily that I am interested in (it is about something that concerns me as well) and I am thinking about emailing him to offer my help about certain aspects of it, if he needs to. I wanna do this because I am interested in the work and think that it can be good for me, but maybe it is because I wanna reconcile with him. But I am not sure if I want that, or should do that or not.

So I asked "would it be good for me if I were to email X about the project?" and got 38, estrangement, changing line 1, to 64.
Do you have any suggestions about how to interpret this? Is 38 the description of the situation now? Is it telling me to compromise? But what does compromise mean in this situation? Does the email represent a small step I can take that can lead to change? Any ideas?
I would very much appreciate the help...

 

[weaver]

38.1 seems to be saying that the best thing is to do nothing. 'Lost horse, do not chase it, it returns by itself.' In addition, when I've had a string of 38s about one situation, it did accurately describe that it was just peculiarly difficult for this person and me to relate to each other, although in some ways we were close. We just couldn't seem to understand each other, and probably both ended up behaving in ways that the other found dismissive or odd. Backing off was the best thing to do. 64 also seems clearly to say, not yet.

After a relationship ends it's easy to feel focused on what the other person feels or thinks or wants. Maybe 64 is also telling you you just aren't ready to relate to him yet - maybe you need to heal so that he is less important? Perhaps getting involved in another volunteer project instead, and taking an interest in the people you meet there, would help to distract you for a while until that happens naturally? Good luck. It won't take as long as you imagine to feel much better.

 

[kash]

Wilhelm translation says:

Nine at the beginning means:
Remorse disappears.
If you lose your horse, do not run after it;
It will come back of its own accord.
When you see evil people,
Guard yourself against mistakes.

I also think it's saying do nothing. When I've had this line the estrangement ended of its own accord (or rather, the other person came back without me having to do anything). Let it be for now.

 

[Juniperist]

Thanks weaver and kash. I appreciate the help.
Are you focusing on the the change line because it seems to talk most directly in this situation?
But I agree, the combination of 38.1 and 64 seems to be saying "not the time to do something."

 

[kash]

When there's only one line changing, I tend to focus on that line and not pay too much attention to the relating hexagram. It's something people have pointed out on this forum and I've found rings true for me in my readings. This line seems to talk about having an urge to do something to remedy a situation but it advises against doing it, saying the situation will resolve on its own.