Interpreting T'ui: hexagram 58

[willem]

Dear all,

I have a little experience in consulting the Yijing, but the questions I asked now, need a more objective interpretation. One that I can't give for the moment.
So it would do me great pleasure in reading your interpretations.

I asked two questions and two times I got hexagram 58, but with different changing lines.

So much for the introduction, here are my questions and answers.

1. Will X and I be together in the near future?
58.2.3.4>63

2. How does X feel about me?
58.2>49

I thank you all in advance in reading this.
I am looking forward to your interpretations!

Sincerely,

Willem

 

[elias]

You seem to have fallen into some common beginner's mistakes. Questions such as yours appear so often that Hilary (who runs this site) put together a list and offered some explanations of why these don't work http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=12642

She says...

And there’s,
‘How does he feel about me?’
with its friends, ‘Why is he doing this? What did he mean by that? And why isn’t he calling me?’

This is a radically unhelpful question in a whole lot of ways.

Does he want you to know the answer to this? And if he doesn’t, is it at all reasonable to expect Yi to help you to spy on his inner life?

If you can in fact spy on his inner life, and he’s confused and his feelings keep changing, all this is going to show in the reading. It is not going to be easy to understand. Also, it is not necessarily going to be true tomorrow.

It is hugely, terrifyingly hard to interpret these readings objectively. It’s excruciatingly easy to respond instead by building a fantasy relationship-castle out of a string of readings, with each question based on a misinterpretation of the reading before. What you end up with has nothing to do with the reality – and yet it is strangely addictive. It’s always easier to ask another question – fitting the curtains and carpets in your imaginary castle – rather than actually going and talking to the man himself.

And on that subject – substituting readings for communication does not make for a good relationship. If you’re in a relationship with someone and can’t ask what they mean or how they feel, then a better question to ask might be ‘What can I do to help us to communicate better?’

You might do well to read through the entire posting and the commentaries.

That being said, a few general observations:

58 Joyous is generally about communicating with others, and the strengthening a relationship has when partners connect on a fundamental level. There is a danger of trying to force happiness by your efforts, rather than letting the situation unfold.

Line 2: Sincerity; confidence in the aim and in the process. A time of trusting and opening to each other.

Line 3: "Coming for delight." Trying to hard to make things happen on your terms, rather than letting things happen on their own. A danger of trying to manipulate people and circumstances to reach your preferred outcome. One old Chinese texts notes that "this is why good people dislike the crafty."

Line 4: "Deliberating about delight." Too conscious of the state of the relationship, always stepping back to assess and compare. The good news is that, upon recognizing this habit, you can release yourself from its grip.

Of the relating hexes: 63 "after the end." A balance point is reached, though this will not last. The important lesson here is not to relax into indulgence. You must maintain your own inner discipline and not forget the lessons that have brought you to this place.

49 Important long-term changes become possible. Change must begin with you -- throwing out that which is no longer useful, trusting your own better nature. Such change in yourself enables others to change also.

 

[diamanda]

Hi willem,

1. Will X and I be together in the near future?
58.2.3.4>63

You probably will (63), but only if before that you trust each other (58:2),
you wait for each other (58:3), and there's going to be a lot of thinking
and comparing with other partner choices (58:4). In any case 63 is
extremely promising, "it will be done" scenario. So take into consideration
the due steps mentioned. Hidden lines here are 17:3, follow the one you
want to follow in your heart, go after your heart's desire, and 49:4, there
will be a change of mind - so, even if that person doesn't seem to want
you, initially, there will be a change. Persist! It all sounds promising, even
if initially it will not be or look this way.

2. How does X feel about me?
58.2>49

That person trusts you, and that is going to be a crucial point in the
whole situation - this is the crucial point that will turn things around, so
you should emphasise the trust between you, to get things going further.
Remember, from the reading above, it will not be straightforward or easy,
there' a mini struggle to be fought first. You need to persevere, so that
this person "gets rid of satellites", you need to keep the trust going etc,
and then a union sounds very possible.