Is A. my new boyfriend? 30.2,3 Did I even ask the right question?

[Owlietta]

30. Li / The Clinging, Fire

----------
---- ---- above Li The Clinging, Flame
----------
----------
---- ---- below Li The Clinging, Flame
----------

The Judgement

The Clinging. Perseverance furthers.
It brings success.
Care of the cow brings good fortune.

The Image

That which is bright rises twice:
The image of Fire.
Thus the great man, by perpetuating this brightness,
Illumines the four quarters of the world.

The Lines

() Six in the second place means:
Yellow light. Supreme good fortune.

Nine in the third place means:
In the light of the setting sun,
Men either beat the pot and sing
Or loudly bewail the approach of old age.
Misfortune.


38. K'uei / Opposition

----------
---- ---- above Li The Clinging, Flame
----------
---- ----
---------- below Tui The Joyous, Lake
----------

The Judgement

Opposition. In small matters, good fortune.

The Image

Above, fire; below, the lake:
The image of Opposition.
Thus amid all fellowship
The superior man retains his individuality.

I feel very drawn to him, and it seems like he is very drawn to me. We were introduced a couple of years ago by a distant cousin, whom we are both related to. At first I turned down many of his invitations with the excuse that I had to work that weekend (true, but, I was also felt wrong about getting romantic with a relative.) Then we started to even doubt that we were related. We finally figured it out: His grandmother was a cousin to my grandmother. We are so attracted to each other that, I guess, we're over it.

I'm 44 and he's 52 or something. He told me his age but I don't remember. I am falling in love with him, but I haven't said so. He has hinted that he's falling in love with me, and it seems undeniable. We spent the last 2 weekends together at his place.

We are both independent-type people, with probably me being the more independent one. I'm one of those who would rather be single than settle. I see there is advice to hold onto your independence here. I've learned that lesson before. I feel miserable when I lose track of my own goals. Romantically I believe that we are both loyal types, though.

His body is very warm, like a fireplace. I feel a magnetic attraction to him, as in, I actually feel it in the air.

I wonder if the reading is telling me anything I didn't already know.

 

[altair139]

wow he's quite a bit older than you, and even line 3 also indicates that
30 says there's a clinging attraction you are feeling with him.
line 2 is auspicious, i think this means the attraction you have with him is genuine. You are clear minded about this feeling and there's no insecurity
line 3 however isn't so auspicious, it's telling you that he's getting old. Dont lose yourself in the illusion of love. Consider the pros and cons as you two are growing older. There will be problems in this context, be it physical or financial.

hex 38 is opposition. This relationship might be opposed.
"The superior man maintains his individuality" - this line in a relationship question usually means you will stay single.

 

[Owlietta]

it's telling you that he's getting old. Dont lose yourself in the illusion of love. Consider the pros and cons as you two are growing older. There will be problems in this context, be it physical or financial.

My relationships over the past 10 years have all been with men a couple of years younger, although none more than 5 years younger. I have never been with someone 8 years older than me. Could it be that the "opposition" is from me? I've felt slightly opposed to getting romantic with A. because #1 we are distant relatives #2 he lives too far away #3 he's a bit older than what I usually go for.

He is a smoker, and I am a nonsmoker. He is worried about his heart, which is why he's working out like a madman lately. So he is getting into really good shape, although he smokes...

But I wonder... could line 3 also mean that we should just "beat the pot and sing", enjoy it, and not worry?

 

[altair139]

He cant smoke and exercise at the same time. If he wants to get healthier he should quit smoking first. Stacking exercise on smoking habit will only shorten his stamina and strength, which will be bad for the heart.
line 3 means that when you reach old age and "beat the pot and sing" a croaky voice of an old man will come out and the subject will mourn about his old age. Therefore it's misfortune. Even if you try to be optimistic, negativity might still crawl in later so be prepared and dont let yourseld be caught offguard.
Opposition here could be you, your family or even the distance between you two. It can be anything.

 

[Owlietta]

Sigh. Love just never works out for me in the long run! I'll keep my outlook open and focus on my own personal goals. But I'm going to keep on seeing him for now. The second he mourns about his old age in a croaky voice is the moment I will dump him!

 

[goddessliss]

This is not based on the reading - I was married to a man for 18 years who is 10 years younger than me. He was/is a smoker which doesn't bode well for his health and didn't for our relationship (amongst other things) although he had no interest in his health.
My friend is 77 she has been married to a man for 35 years who is 18 years younger than her and they're still very much in love.
- Liss