Is it a real love story ? 48.1.2.4.6 > 13

[polaire]

Hello Everybody,
I hope all is good for the last month of this strange year.
Since the first lock down, in April, I'm in a weird love story with a very strange guy I really care about.
We have seen each otheronly two times, I know it's f...ing strange to talk about love for only two times together but we also had a epistolary connexion, but a difficult one. He's mirroring a lot of thing to me and sometimes it's very painful, I feel abandoned.
He never cut the contact but don't nourish it neither, or just to keep me hooked. He's elusive, but keep the door open.
At some point I have been very pushy then running away feeling that the relationship is a black hole.
When I ask if we will see each other again, he says always yes soon but no rendez-vous planned. I went mad many times.
I cut the contact, and came back again, and cut and came back again few times.
Right now the contact is off, but I suspect him to be the guy with our picture I talk with in a website, maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I still feel a lot for this guy and I feel deeply connected to him, maybe it's unrequited in a way, but lately he sent me a video about love... some hook again I guess.

So I asked the Yi about the relationship itself, is it a true love story?
I got 48.1.2.4.6 changing to 13

I think the Wheel is the relationship itself, something that can nourish, something that don't change and stay there, it's what I feel.
There is something in me who wants to feed the black hole and sometimes, even if its rare I feel nourish by it.
for the two first lines I don't know if it's he's attitude about the relationship or if it's mine to myself, maybe he think that I'm not a good source or something?

Maybe the two last one mean that something can be fix and and that the relationship is still possible.

For the changing hex, 13, I have read that it's not a love hexagram but a social one, is it always that way?

So I don't know....

Could you give me your insight about what the yi is answering to my question please?

Thank you for your help

 

[RemRem]

Hi Polaire!

Rem here. Here's my take on your reading:

Your Question: "Is it a true love story?"
Your Reading: 48.1.2.4.6 to 13

H48 the Well

It is a true love story...

1 ...if it nourishes your entire being - your mind and heart (The Well)
2 ...if it's deep enough in terms of connection and cannot be changed by the changes around it (moving city, not moving the well)
3 otherwise, it's an ideal too unreachable (rope no yet draw water...)
4 and disappoints (breaking clay jug)

5 ...when you and work together (toils...)
6 and support each other's growth (help one another) then it is.

7 if at start (line 1)
8 the relationship is unclear (muddy well)
9 it's hard for that story to inspire you (no drinking)
10 it's an old story (old well) but nothing happens (no birds)

11 because (line 2)
12 expecting much from it (shooting fish)
13 again disappoints (jug cracked and leaking)

14 a true love story works (line 4)
15 when there are clear boundaries between lovers (well is lined)
16 that's ok (no mistake)

17 it's true when after all you realize (line 6)
18 it's open and welcoming (well gathers)
19 and not hidden in secret (don't cover)
20 and clearly shows what's true and confident
21 it becomes a blessing to lovers (good fortune)

22 Then it becomes a safe space and a sense of connectedness (H13)


I hope this helps, Polaire!

Rem

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Hello Everybody,
I hope all is good for the last month of this strange year.
Since the first lock down, in April, I'm in a weird love story with a very strange guy I really care about.
We have seen each otheronly two times, I know it's f...ing strange to talk about love for only two times together but we also had a epistolary connexion, but a difficult one. He's mirroring a lot of thing to me and sometimes it's very painful, I feel abandoned.
He never cut the contact but don't nourish it neither, or just to keep me hooked. He's elusive, but keep the door open.
At some point I have been very pushy then running away feeling that the relationship is a black hole.
When I ask if we will see each other again, he says always yes soon but no rendez-vous planned. I went mad many times.
I cut the contact, and came back again, and cut and came back again few times.
Right now the contact is off, but I suspect him to be the guy with our picture I talk with in a website, maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I still feel a lot for this guy and I feel deeply connected to him, maybe it's unrequited in a way, but lately he sent me a video about love... some hook again I guess.

So I asked the Yi about the relationship itself, is it a true love story?
I got 48.1.2.4.6 changing to 13

I think the Wheel is the relationship itself, something that can nourish, something that don't change and stay there, it's what I feel.
There is something in me who wants to feed the black hole and sometimes, even if its rare I feel nourish by it.
for the two first lines I don't know if it's he's attitude about the relationship or if it's mine to myself, maybe he think that I'm not a good source or something?

Maybe the two last one mean that something can be fix and and that the relationship is still possible.

For the changing hex, 13, I have read that it's not a love hexagram but a social one, is it always that way?

So I don't know....

Could you give me your insight about what the yi is answering to my question please?

Thank you for your help

Hi, I'll give a try as I recently received 13 and I love 48.

As you said, it's an up and down, good and bad, so, like our state of mind, which is perfectly mirrored in 48, which to me represents the unconsciousness.

To your question: the relationship is pretty intense. It will deeply change you, positively and negatively. I also think that it won't be easy for you cutting away from him, as the 48 typically represents a mental attraction. But you have to deal with this attraction and understand if it's good or bad for you. So, yes, it's a true love story, but what type of? Let's search for the answer in the lines:

1: I received it as well, it could be, that there are unsaid things between you, or regrets or remorse. It could also be (that was my case) that there is another person between you. You both have to get rid of this "garbage" if you want to go on.

2: is he profiting of your company? You say you feel abandoned.

4: you try to defend yourself, you feel exposed and its good to protect yourself from this person.

Last line: a positive one. Maybe if you speak out clear with him, if you go on protecting and caring yourself, and if he's sincere, you can go on!

I personally see 13 as an hex which in love affairs represents a person who has many affairs, or who seeks company of many women or man, or that actually prefers to cultivate social, plural relations rather than love, singular ones.

Hope it helps,

Clavdia

 

[polaire]

Thank you very much Rem and Clavdia,

Both of your interpretations moves me a lot. I give my raw feedback, I hope it will be fine for you.

Rem, your interpretation touches all points of the situation, it makes me sad and in the same time give me something tangible to understand how a real love relationship works.
This relationship starves me in a big way and in an other way from this starvation there is some kind of inspiration, artistic or something like that. I can see a lot of thing that I lack in my life to feel fulfilled and that I have to dram within me and not from somebody else. It teaches me a lot and in the same time, I'm starving for tenderness, presence, sharing... when I'm with him I feel really myself, a version of me I like and I feel full of joy, but when he's gone, the starvation and the neediness begin. I guess it's codependency or something like that, and maybe by this starvation it supports my personal grow. The hard way.
I haven't seen him since 5 month now and I have to reason myself for stop feeling this oceanic love for him, anyway, this relationship is very strange school.

The relationship is not clear at all, I don't know what he truly wants, I don't know nothing, maybe he doesn't neither. It inspires me in the way I say earlier but, not in the romantic way, or crazy romantic way.
Nothing happens.

Do you think with line 2 that I expect too much from it?


About the line 4, do you think I didn't set enough boundaries, like accepting too much bad behavior?
I know that I'm forgiving, naturally a lot, and maybe I didn't set enough boundaries to be respected

About the line 6, I offered him that, something open, welcoming, in light, and made my feeling for him understandable, he didn't, nothing about that.

So I guess it's a real one sided love relationship
That why it's not safe and I feel so alone.

I don't understand why he don't clarify the situation, but now I see that this lack of clarification is a clear statement, hard to swallow because the heart hopes, but... I think all this will find its way in my psyche.

Thank you again Rem.

Clavdia,
With the unconsciousness you put the finger on it, I dream a lot about him, he comes knocking on the backdoor of my mind very often and I know that I connect him with something huge in my unconscious.
I try to put some light on it with my analyst
It's pretty intense yes, the time together and also some conversations, and my feelings and emotions runs very deep. At the beginning he say that I was like bomb in his life and that he feels that we are very close and already important to each other. So maybe at the beginning it was intense for him too.

Everything from his side in unsaid, almost everything, from the reality of his job, his address, his feeling since a while, the only things he says are about his family, childhood, thoughts and that we will see each other again...

He said also at the beginning that he didn't want to profite of my "company" and that a part wanted to do so but he was fighting this part, I guess being intimate with 5 month absence after was profiting, also maybe profiting of the ego polish my chase after him provides. I don't know.

The protection part is maybe me stoping to nourish the connexion but in a more subtle way I know I continue to do so and I hope I will stop.

About the last one, I don't know... I told him everything, I think I have to continue to stop

Maybe he's seing a lot of other women, I don't know, he said he's not in a relationship elsewhere, but, who knows?

Thank you very much Clavdia to share your interpretation.

Yesterday I asked the yi what could I do to improve the relationship and I got 39.4
I guess I can do nothing for now, and just stop doing anything. I quit the website where the hidden guy was talking to me and I suspected to be the one.

And just now I asked how it will evolve between us I got 51.1.2 > 40

I hope it doesn't mean that he will come back just to have sex as I read in an other tread... and leave me again in the no-man's land of instability and stuff....

Thank you for everything

 

[polaire]

I just realize that I speak often of him or about the relationship, or his eyes as black hole, in a cosmic way, and what is a wheel if not a black hole too

As Clavdia it's gonna be hard to go over him... a black hole sucks it all. To where?

 

[polaire]

And last one, 51.1.2.>40 sounds to me like going through a black hole, scary, crazy, funny, shaking, loosing all you know, all you have and all you are for a while and then, plop, liberation?

 

[RemRem]

You're welcome, Polaire! Happy to help you out on your reading. It might be sad, but I hope true love unfolds in your life. For sure, it does!

About the lines

11 because (line 2)
12 expecting much from it (shooting fish)
13 again disappoints (jug cracked and leaking)

Been into studying Love and relationships for many years (long before I started studying the Yijing). And one thing that have seen in romantic dynamics is the double-edge nature of expectation.

I felt the interpretation thread of Line 1 automatically unfolded line 2. So they are closely linked in terms of meaning.

In the San Cai (3 realms), 1 and 2 are all about earth and grounding. In this case, every thing about earth is taking things as they are. Thus, no expectation. As it is.

You may be well-grounded on the situation, but with romantic emotions, we are all subject to high expectations. This is often the case, and I'd say almost universal to us born and exposed in the Hollywood myth of romance.

In line 2, it seems very unlikely to find a fish in a well, but here we have an image. Well is a source of drinking water, not exactly a fish pond. Fish here can be an "ideal thought" within a "true Love story". "Shooting" reminds me of Eros/Cupid's arrow, which now again translates to romantic falling. We can discern line 2 as a the romantic ideal that often we try to achieve (shoot) within a true Love story. By doing so, we get disappointed when we don't understand why it seems to happen. (jug gets broken). It's a trap most of us feels when we fall in love with someone.

I feel you on this, Polaire, as we all do have these expectations - which cause a lot of heartbreaks, and I'd say including our parents in their younger days.

It's in our generation's hands to break the spell.

I hope this adds to your reflection. Thank you again, Polaire. All true Love be with you.

Rem

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Thank you very much Rem and Clavdia,

Both of your interpretations moves me a lot. I give my raw feedback, I hope it will be fine for you.

Rem, your interpretation touches all points of the situation, it makes me sad and in the same time give me something tangible to understand how a real love relationship works.
This relationship starves me in a big way and in an other way from this starvation there is some kind of inspiration, artistic or something like that. I can see a lot of thing that I lack in my life to feel fulfilled and that I have to dram within me and not from somebody else. It teaches me a lot and in the same time, I'm starving for tenderness, presence, sharing... when I'm with him I feel really myself, a version of me I like and I feel full of joy, but when he's gone, the starvation and the neediness begin. I guess it's codependency or something like that, and maybe by this starvation it supports my personal grow. The hard way.
I haven't seen him since 5 month now and I have to reason myself for stop feeling this oceanic love for him, anyway, this relationship is very strange school.

The relationship is not clear at all, I don't know what he truly wants, I don't know nothing, maybe he doesn't neither. It inspires me in the way I say earlier but, not in the romantic way, or crazy romantic way.
Nothing happens.

Do you think with line 2 that I expect too much from it?


About the line 4, do you think I didn't set enough boundaries, like accepting too much bad behavior?
I know that I'm forgiving, naturally a lot, and maybe I didn't set enough boundaries to be respected

About the line 6, I offered him that, something open, welcoming, in light, and made my feeling for him understandable, he didn't, nothing about that.

So I guess it's a real one sided love relationship
That why it's not safe and I feel so alone.

I don't understand why he don't clarify the situation, but now I see that this lack of clarification is a clear statement, hard to swallow because the heart hopes, but... I think all this will find its way in my psyche.

Thank you again Rem.

Clavdia,
With the unconsciousness you put the finger on it, I dream a lot about him, he comes knocking on the backdoor of my mind very often and I know that I connect him with something huge in my unconscious.
I try to put some light on it with my analyst
It's pretty intense yes, the time together and also some conversations, and my feelings and emotions runs very deep. At the beginning he say that I was like bomb in his life and that he feels that we are very close and already important to each other. So maybe at the beginning it was intense for him too.

Everything from his side in unsaid, almost everything, from the reality of his job, his address, his feeling since a while, the only things he says are about his family, childhood, thoughts and that we will see each other again...

He said also at the beginning that he didn't want to profite of my "company" and that a part wanted to do so but he was fighting this part, I guess being intimate with 5 month absence after was profiting, also maybe profiting of the ego polish my chase after him provides. I don't know.

The protection part is maybe me stoping to nourish the connexion but in a more subtle way I know I continue to do so and I hope I will stop.

About the last one, I don't know... I told him everything, I think I have to continue to stop

Maybe he's seing a lot of other women, I don't know, he said he's not in a relationship elsewhere, but, who knows?

Thank you very much Clavdia to share your interpretation.

Yesterday I asked the yi what could I do to improve the relationship and I got 39.4
I guess I can do nothing for now, and just stop doing anything. I quit the website where the hidden guy was talking to me and I suspected to be the one.

And just now I asked how it will evolve between us I got 51.1.2 > 40

I hope it doesn't mean that he will come back just to have sex as I read in an other tread... and leave me again in the no-man's land of instability and stuff....

Thank you for everything

I see your point! And i agree: for now better not to do anything! There are some obstacles in this: Yi tells you how to deal with them. I think you need some good company, some friends, maybe to talk to about this! I personally see 40 as a physical hex... And 51 as well. Don't run after him (line 2 of 51!). I don't see any black hole, perhaps just his physical intensions to you!

 

[polaire]

Thank you for your messages... about 51>40, an other texted me tonight to seek some "confort" and watch a movie... In the past, more than one year ago we had a casual sex relationship but it was only when he needed and never when I, so I had a strange feeling in my chest, I asked the yi I got 8.3.5.... And I said no.
I feel used in a way by those persons and I'm sad about it. I asked the yi how to live a true and reciprocate love and I got 2.1.2.3.5.6.... so much moving lines.... I will try to understand the reading this week end, but If you have an insight, it is welcome.
Good night all.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Thank you for your messages... about 51>40, an other texted me tonight to seek some "confort" and watch a movie... In the past, more than one year ago we had a casual sex relationship but it was only when he needed and never when I, so I had a strange feeling in my chest, I asked the yi I got 8.3.5.... And I said no.
I feel used in a way by those persons and I'm sad about it. I asked the yi how to live a true and reciprocate love and I got 2.1.2.3.5.6.... so much moving lines.... I will try to understand the reading this week end, but If you have an insight, it is welcome.
Good night all.

Hex 2 in difficult to understand. In any case, before you start a relationship, i think it advises to be receptive and understand who you have in front of you!

 

[polaire]

Hex 2 in difficult to understand. In any case, before you start a relationship, i think it advises to be receptive and understand who you have in front of you!

Thank you Clavdia... yes I think I should, and stop chasing....
Have a good week end