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Is it over? 14 no changes

wendy1

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We've separated after 5 years, we couldn't work it out, and he is moving to another city for work ... I asked, is the relationship over, and got 14 no changes.

I would appreciate any thoughts.
 

elias

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As always, if you want a yes or no, flip a coin...

Let's assume the IC gave you an answer and it's your job to figure out the question. I'd suggest something along the lines of "where am I now?" or "what is the gift of this situation?"

14-Possession in great measure. Not the worst hex you could get!

"The hexagram states unequivocably that if we truly possess a thing it cannot be lost or destroyed. What we have gained -- the progress earned through our hard work -- cannot be lost, in spite of temporary setbacks.... While in a state of 'possession,' if we will sacrifice our right to justifiable anger, and relinquish any feelings of self-pity, along with the right to defend our point of view when challenged, we will succeed in remaining modest, thereby honor our teacher and guide, the Sage" (C Anthony).

So... not a promise that your partner will come running, or even walking, or crawling, back, but that what you are learning from this experience will make you stronger in dealing with this situations and in whatever relationships you enter into in the future.

Wishing you all the best in this difficult time.
 

tiziano

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In my opinion, thre are many things Yi can tell you by means of an unchanging hexagram. One of them is not to focus on some particular aspects of the hex and its archetypal situation, but rather to consider the bigger picture, its overall context, and see where it comes from, to what it is related, how it naturally evolves and so on. This is mainly done by means of the Sequence, the Pair and the Nuclear, but also of some other strictly related figure.

What comes before hex 14 is hex 13, People in harmony, which means love and affectivity; this seems good for a husband and a wife, but in fact it isn't enough to hold a family together: it lacks hex 37's fourth yin, i.e. the appropriate hierarchy and roles. Now, I don't know if the dao of the Family (37) has ever been present in your relationship, what I can suppose is that there were the right feelings but they weren't enough to keep it going. The connection that forms in hex 13 is correct for close friends and even for lovers, but it doesn't automatically make them husband and wife, because they still have a lot of independence and don't form a structured whole, they just complete each other well.
This constitutes an antecedent to your situation.

The fact that it evolved into hex 14 means that its dao has naturally exhausted, i.e. no moving line was specifically activated, but you can consider the 6th line of hex 13 being valid in a sense, because it represents a turning point. So its "harmony at the outskirts altar", where spaces are wider and you can place yourself into a broader context, which starts to appear more meaningful than the walls of a home, probably means something to you in terms of the feelings that brought to your separation.
A sense of estrangement was perhaps first latent and neglected, then it grew and accumulated until a critical mass was reached and a decision became urgent. This may be the meaning of both nuclear hexagrams: 44 and 43.

Elias already explained what hex 14 can tell you about your present situation. I think your story has given you much in terms of clarity and the ability to differentiate and separate what is good for you from what is not. You can read it fully in the 2 Great Images of 13 and 14, both featuring fire (li) and heaven (qian): first you acquire that skill inside, then you use it to discriminate in the outer world (and this is what makes you really rich and powerful).

This is also the fundament of integrity (or true modesty, 15), as Carol Anthony also explains (as quoted by Elias). The richness you now have is being able "to see yourself in true proportion with everything and everyone else" (Hilary), and so "being incapable of arrogance" (gua 15, Sequence). You can add that you're more aware now of what's really needed to make a family (structure and interdependence, or giving meaning to each other), besides love and completing each other.
Note also that hex 15's nuclear is 40, which means a separation.

Finally, you can consider reading the ruling 5th line of hex 14 to get a good advice of how to best profit the situation: it is your truth itself that interacts here, bringing good fortune, without conscious action. This can give you the means to connect to the full creative power of hex 1, "simply by being who you are, without dilution and without ulterior motives" (Hilary).

My best wishes.
 
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pocossin

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We've separated after 5 years, we couldn't work it out, and he is moving to another city for work ... I asked, is the relationship over, and got 14 no changes.

Now the you are beyond the loss of breaking up, a new and advantageous future is open to you. Thus, Possession in Great Measure.
 

tifa

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Hello wendy,

IMHO, when I receive no moving lines, I would try to relax and cast again. Usually no moving lines is a reflection of what I am feeling or going through. Perhaps you might want to come up with another question relating to your problem.

Take the second cast and compare it to your hex with no moving lines.
 
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