Is it over? 35.5 > 12

[squirrele]

After a few turbulent months in a relationship, which has me utterly confused and undecided on which direction to go, a recent event has me believing, that this was probably too, the end; however as there are many 'unsaid' words between us I am not sure, so I cast a reading with the question - Is it over and got 35.5 > 12. Any insight on this? I have absolutely no idea how to interpret this

 

[squirrele]

Casting a second reading, because my actual dilemma is 'Does he love me?' I got 3.5 > 24 Sprouting > Returning.
My boyfriend is an extremely burdened, secretive man, and his actions are not in accordance to his words, I just wonder if I am wasting my time.

 

[troubadour]

Hexagram 12 is a relating hexagram - rather than a predictive one - which shows you have been living under a big NO but Hexagram 35.5 says there is someone with a great personality involved and that personality is going to shine. Take courage from that.

Hexagram 3 is often associated with depression in the commentaries of one willowfox who seems to be a controversial yet sometimes very perceptive member (or ex member) of this forum and that does chime with your assessment of your partner's disposition.

As a relating Hexagram 24 is pretty positive.

Is it worth seeking support? Counselling or therapy? And not just for your partner but for you too. Gentle reaching out seems to be indicated rather than extrememe measures.

 

[dragona]

Hm, 35.5<12 without knowing nearly enough of the situation and gotten it once myself would look to me as you are facing a wall - an obstacle, inability to reach and make the contact. Hex 35 gives and idea of the importance of the relationship for you, the nourishing aspect of it. But the line 5 says that you cannot make every wrong into right alone, you can only do so much and let it be. Anyway it goes, you are told not to worry too much. Easier said then done, I know, when someone cares but try not to worry too much about it, do what you can and carry on with your life regardless.
Second question is not a good idea IMO, could be interpreted in too many different ways, looks like there is not enough energy there now.
Just from my POW, hope it helps, d.

 

[long yi]

It is over. Do not try on this relationship (hexagram 35.5) and consult others. Else it will lead to practical and emotional problems (hexagram 12)

3.5 There is a lack of trust in this relationship. You have to win him over to prove that you are a worthwhile pursuit.

As mentioned (24) in my other reading analysis, it takes a long time to build the romance. You cannot force him to love you if he does not think that you are truthful, reliable and loving over time (line 5 of hexagram 3). You have to prove yourself via your actions. Even that, you may fail. No easy win. The man has several other females to choose from.

Iching prediction will not give you an answer. The path to an answer is in your own hands and steps that you make towards returning your life to normal.

 

[squirrele]

Trust issue always

.........
3.5 There is a lack of trust in this relationship. You have to win him over to prove that you are a worthwhile pursuit.

Yes he has been deeply hurt by someone else, and does not trust anyone.
The problem is I remind him of her in many ways. After she hurt him, he decided to pursue many females, thereby shielding himself from love and hurt again. He wants an 'open' relationship but not one where I can have other lovers. Off course I didn't agree. He keeps smsing and calling me at weird hours of the night just to check that I am not with someone else.

I honestly believe this relationship does have a huge big NO to it, but in terms of my own personal transformation, I seem to be getting something out of it. What exactly it is I don't know. I have my own deep fears towards relationships especially trust issues.

You are right trust takes a long time to build. Thank you so for your invaluable feedback.

 

[squirrele]

Hexagram 12 is a relating hexagram - rather than a predictive one - which shows you have been living under a big NO but Hexagram 35.5 says there is someone with a great personality involved and that personality is going to shine. Take courage from that.

Hexagram 3 is often associated with depression in the commentaries of one willowfox who seems to be a controversial yet sometimes very perceptive member (or ex member) of this forum and that does chime with your assessment of your partner's disposition.

As a relating Hexagram 24 is pretty positive.

Is it worth seeking support? Counselling or therapy? And not just for your partner but for you too. Gentle reaching out seems to be indicated rather than extrememe measures.

He has very serious depression you are right! I constantly 'nag' him about it, he refuses to get help, so I went to see a psychologist on my own, to get help for both of us. Off course she told me I should avoid the situation altogether.

I feel as I am way ahead of where I was a couple of months ago, I am just not able to put him out of my life yet. We live in a close community and we have known each other for 20 odd years, its really extremely hard because he manages to 'tug' my heart when he is feeling very depressed.

 

[squirrele]

providing nourishment

.....Hex 35 gives and idea of the importance of the relationship for you, the nourishing aspect of it. But the line 5 says that you cannot make every wrong into right alone, you can only do so much and let it be. Anyway it goes, you are told not to worry too much......
..

I seem to get something out of providing 'nourishment' for this person. My star sign is Cancer and I enjoy doing this for everyone I love. Perhaps this is what I am getting out of it? Even when he has upset me a lot, I still want to put a smile on his face. He has had a very tough life, and I cannot help it. Perhaps I am confusing a 'friendship' love for a romantic one I don't know.

 

[troubadour]

Wishing you well. Where a condition like depression is involved expert medical psychiatric or psychological advice must take precedence over speculation, and I am glad to read you have taken that route and hope it leads to the right answers and forms of intervention and will also lead to the turning point of Hexagram 24.

 

[dragona]

I seem to get something out of providing 'nourishment' for this person. My star sign is Cancer and I enjoy doing this for everyone I love. Perhaps this is what I am getting out of it? Perhaps I am confusing a 'friendship' love for a romantic one I don't know.

I can relate (Moon in Cancer) but the feeling that we will be loved if we are needed and useful, not just being who we are, may have something to do with it.
I made that mistake recently, among others, gotten this line and overall feeling is that you may be the one who gave more and gotten less out of it. We should stop offering without being asked, I think. Just for future reference, hope it helps.

 

[squirrele]

I can relate (Moon in Cancer) but the feeling that we will be loved if we are needed and useful, not just being who we are, may have something to do with it.
I made that mistake recently, among others, gotten this line and overall feeling is that you may be the one who gave more and gotten less out of it. We should stop offering without being asked, I think. Just for future reference, hope it helps.

It helps a lot, yes, thanks! Its truly an issue I need to let go of!

 

[dragona]

Well, sometimes we have a lot to offer and installing a tap is an offensive an idea almost. Not everyone is sincere or in want or even ready as we are on these occasions. This problem of being on the energy minus received end is not an old issue for me but then I am a Water Carrier and I am a channel I feel sometimes, only my pipes need cleaning then as well and I tend to forget about that.
I don`t know, but sometimes it is good to just give - we can only give what we have to give in the first place. Doing so without attachment all of the time is another story. If it is any comfort, big hearts get recognized as much as stumped upon, I think.

 

[squirrele]

Well, sometimes we have a lot to offer and installing a tap is an offensive an idea almost. Not everyone is sincere or in want or even ready as we are on these occasions. This problem of being on the energy minus received end is not an old issue for me but then I am a Water Carrier and I am a channel I feel sometimes, only my pipes need cleaning then as well and I tend to forget about that.
I don`t know, but sometimes it is good to just give - we can only give what we have to give in the first place. Doing so without attachment all of the time is another story. If it is any comfort, big hearts get recognized as much as stumped upon, I think.

Thanks for that Dragona, it feels good to know there are like minded people out there that have similar experiences. Aquarius with Cancer Moon, extremely sensitive sign, 'damn' smart, nurturing and caring :bows: I can relate!

 

[jbutler]

After a few turbulent months in a relationship, which has me utterly confused and undecided on which direction to go, a recent event has me believing, that this was probably too, the end; however as there are many 'unsaid' words between us I am not sure, so I cast a reading with the question - Is it over and got 35.5 > 12. Any insight on this? I have absolutely no idea how to interpret this

Hello; I love relationship issues, and they are one of the things I like to help people with.
First of all, practical comments: It sounds to me that you are chastising yourself for things you may not have any control over. If he isn't responding to you, it isn't your fault. Secondly, confusion is a symptom of a deeper thing, but it also means you are willing to learn. Also, your post reads like you two need to talk. Many relationships end because we are too proud to go and talk about misunderstandings. We get our needs met by having a problem, meeting others who have similar problems, we get to connect with others but the issue never gets resolved! Go now, and talk to him. Say what needs to be said.

Questions you might want to ask yourself: Why do you allow yourself to be in a turbulent relationship? Do you like the turbulence? Are you that desperate for love that this one is the only one that suits you? OR do you really love this person. Love stays. Love strives to work it out. Love talks. Love communicates. Are you thinking you can change it? There are ways to change things, but seeking the right help is the key. Yes, relationships can be fixed! Yes, sometimes in just a few minutes! Yes, it is better to fix your relationship than get out. If you don't one of two things will happen: you will either get in another one and be stuck where you are now trying to resolve the same issues only with a different person, or...or, you will live your life alone never having persevered through the problems for your own personal growth. Your choice.

The Yi primarily want us to learn to be at peace above all else. If we can act in innocence (having no though about outcome) and modesty (bring down the intensity and bringing up the mundane) then we receive help from the sage (God, higher power).

Hexagram 35.5 to be detached. Being emotionally detached from any expectation, this is the way to peace. To obtain relationships from any other stance is vieing for an opportunity to make things go our way. To MAKE things go our way is ego's way of controlling. iChing advices against letting our ego control because ego messes things up. To trust in a higher power to produce the results is trusting the sage. The Hexagram advises to let things flow, then things will happen as they should.

Line 5 Don't take things into your heart. Detach your emotions from all preconceived outcomes and just let things happen.

I wish you well. Seek professional help. Good luck.

 

[squirrele]

.....Go now, and talk to him. Say what needs to be said.

Questions you might want to ask yourself: Why do you allow yourself to be in a turbulent relationship? Do you like the turbulence? Are you that desperate for love that this one is the only one that suits you? OR do you really love this person. Love stays. Love strives to work it out. Love talks. Love communicates. Are you thinking you can change it? There are ways to change things, but seeking the right help is the key. Yes, relationships can be fixed! Yes, sometimes in just a few minutes! Yes, it is better to fix your relationship than get out. If you don't one of two things will happen: you will either get in another one and be stuck where you are now trying to resolve the same issues only with a different person, or...or, you will live your life alone never having persevered through the problems for your own personal growth. Your choice.

The Yi primarily want us to learn to be at peace above all else. If we can act in innocence (having no though about outcome) and modesty (bring down the intensity and bringing up the mundane) then we receive help from the sage (God, higher power).

Hexagram 35.5 to be detached. Being emotionally detached from any expectation, this is the way to peace. To obtain relationships from any other stance is vieing for an opportunity to make things go our way. To MAKE things go our way is ego's way of controlling. iChing advices against letting our ego control because ego messes things up. To trust in a higher power to produce the results is trusting the sage. The Hexagram advises to let things flow, then things will happen as they should.

Line 5 Don't take things into your heart. Detach your emotions from all preconceived outcomes and just let things happen.

I wish you well. Seek professional help. Good luck.

Thank you jbutler, yes I do think a good talk is in order. And 35.5 detached is exactly what is needed from me in this case. I will ready myself, follow up and let you all know how it goes!

 

[eowyndernhelme]

But you never came back. How does this story end?