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Is it partly my fault that the person suicided? * Hexagram 25, with specifically lines 1, 2, 5

Devajyoti

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Someone in the beginning of this year suicided. In my family its the third suicide I know of and it was my partner ( of raising children, not a couple we were as lovers any more if ever so, yes so ), he was ill, schizophrenic and did not take his meds, he believed he had a terminal illness with his heart condition and he suffered acute breathing problems originating in his dusty flat and I felt bad because we changed drycleaners and he aybe got a worse one, I am not sure. I could not breath in his flat either.
There have been so many situations. in life. When I did not know about his condition and misunderstood his behaviour as controlling and kinda narcistic or very selfish and not rational or his task, when he mixed up in my behaviour and commanded me. His father and stepmother told me horrorstories but no one ever understood that this illness wants the person to take control about everything. when it came to me as stupidity or ignorance or over the border whatsoever. So I sometimes think back and am sad about my defensiveness or what. about judging, about not giving - like to a boy or very old person - empathy and understanding, but fighting my position.


I found this in a reaction to a similar thread with Hexagramm 25.

Looking ahead at the lines of 25 it appears to me we are going to be following..
25.1 the story of a naive young soul who starts out with a fair amount of beginner's luck and good intentions.
25.2 He finds work to do he enjoys doing and his trusting nature leads him on. But before the harvest comes in and he can retire thinking life is just a bowl of cherries, every misfortune known to Adam falls upon him...

25.5 Illness...and it's still not his fault, he's done NOTHING WRONG..and sure enough his belief in his innocence strengthens him to persever but you know what..


Well, interestingly enough,
25.Spring Fool Innocence (and inevitably, Really Dumb Avoidable Accidents) is followed by..
26. Major Restraint and that the key advice of Major Restraint's Image reads "Thus the superior man acquaints himelf with many sayings of antiquity andmany deeds of the past, in order to strengthen his character thereby." So the young Innocent starts to think and study what others have done in the past. He is no longer so in touch with his original unsullied streight from Heaven Purity, but now he may live a little longer when he learns the ways of Earthings..

Seems to be saying that while Innocence has it's season, we can't keep playing the "Opps, not my fault, it was an accident" card forever. Inevitably we can not evolve without somehow examining our "Accidents", learning where may be we were at fault. How'd we get that cow in the first place? Maybe we took it from someone else oursleves, before we knew about laws and karma. So we thought we were Innocent, but when we got tired enoough of being hurt we were willing to accept there might be something worth learning, we acquired the desire to learn to use our minds, dangerous to our inate virtue as that challenge might be.

26. Taming Power of the Great says I don't evolve beyond Innocence/Accidents until I digest the experiences of the past and learn from them. So here at 26. I must pause and consider the "Sayings of antiquity" and the "many deeds of the past" to see how others successfully negotiated this new challenge - that in my Innocence I have no prior experience with. Thus through study I can learn about cows and karma without having to actually make all the experiences myself.


***
IN another thread I found this
25 to me has mostly proven to be about taking on things and worries and thoughts that should have no place in your tiny little head, it's better to be the innocent here, so to speak, without any entanglements, you need to feel and understand where you are instead of trying to be on the way somewhere new. be more present in the now.

25.1 things may seem blocked, and they probably are blocked, but for the love of god don't try to clear the blockage, just walk around it and move on with your daily stuff.

25.2 but don't get caught up in your daily stuff to fill the not knowing with activities, otherwise you will never understand what you need to do next. use silence to hear and feel the next step.

25.5 because just because there is a problem, it is really not your job right now to fix it. let go, enjoy life, stop thinking about this, be present and by doing this you allow for the problem to resolve itself. there will be major reason to rejoyce in the end.
 

Viru10

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This reading sounds like you are not at fault at all, based on your question. 25 is not just 'innocence' it's also lack of entanglement. Surely the lesson from this relationship was an important one for you to learn, but I'm not getting a picture of guilt from the details that you shared at least.

25.1 things may seem blocked, and they probably are blocked, but for the love of god don't try to clear the blockage, just walk around it and move on with your daily stuff


25.1 doesn't sound blocked at all, though i may be misunderstanding your question. It is more indicating good fortune will come from detaching from guilt and allowing yourself to grieve, which is pointing to 25.2 as well. Don't judge the emotions you experience grieving this loss simply allow them to pass through you.

25.5 also points to an external malady not caused by the person (querent in this case). The sadness will pass in its due time. I think guilt may end up being the actual blockage in this scenario, though I haven't dealt with abject grief enough to intelligently comment. Someone else may have a better idea.
 
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diamanda

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Is it partly my fault that the person suicided? 25.1.2.5 > 64

25 shows a natural state of being, without any pretence.
Here, 25 has three changing lines, which means there's great deviation from that description.
Line 25.1 is a very early stage, where deviation from the norm is ok (for now).
25.2 shows someone who prefers hunting, rather than cultivating, so, quite aggressive.
25.5 says there's no medicine for this.
64 shows that the situation doesn't continue.

I believe the cast describes someone's nature.
It does not show someone harming someone else.

[edited after Rosada's clarification on resulting hexagram]
 
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diamanda

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Thanks Rosada. I usually double check resulting hexagrams, this time I didn't, so I'll edit my reply.
 

Devajyoti

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I am not a natural speaker, therefore my question:
Did you speak about me? ( am I the "querent" ? )
Am I the hunting and probably a little agressive person or was it the one who suicided?
Probably both could be true I think.

Did the cast describe my nature?
Because the other person is dead now...

guess so.
 
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diamanda

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Am I the hunting and probably a little agressive person or was it the one who suicided?
Great point, I can't know that. Only you can know that. Were you aggressive, a hunter, someone who didn't care about their impact on others? Someone who didn't care about the welfare of their partner? Someone who didn't want to cultivate what they had at hand? These are questions to ask and answer not to me, but to yourself.
 

Devajyoti

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aww. No it describes much more the person who suicided.
Maybe after a while when I had realised I would mirror this back somehow.
When I was caring I often thought I did not get much in return.
But I think yin and yang is always present
since no one is 100 percent pure or unpure in heart and actions.
of course he must have had SOMEthing caring about him.
Maybe in the timeline it changed like everything in life is changing.
 

rosada

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While it's hard to accept that we might have been some how even partly responsible for another person's passing, it can be even harder to accept that there was nothing we could have done to prevent it, to accept that we are so completely without power in this bizarre universe. I think the oracle is telling you that you are "innocent" here or that you are not entangled with what happened and therefore you are now faced with the harder task described in 64 which is to recognize this happened, we have no power to change what ever will be and now knowing that, where will you go from here?
 

Devajyoti

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he would go here and there, engage in multiple ways, be on a run, avoid closeness, tell me he was not my ******, care more for others than us, run away from problems because he could not handle it, he never had learned enough skills. He often said he was raised in the streets where one has to fight while I believed he must have had a home with father mother and sister as well.
He went to buy stuff on fleemarkets all the time...

and I sometimes shouted at him, blamed him for the lack of support or handsomeness or whatever.
I told him he was egoisitc.

but I go hunt for food ( also I am a vegan for years ) like with foodsharing etc.
but I have a garden... I waork haard there, over years, 13 years now. 15 years both gardens.
and he could not understand that I stayed when circumstances with board or neighbours were not nice. He would have gone on, hunting for a better situation like he always did.
He loved going on demonstations.
had he lived through corona, I fear he might have been a aluhat person just for the sake of demonstrating on the other hand he had clarity in many way, opinions and he was a strong character.
Otherwise he would not have been able to take his life, naked , in winter, going into a lake in order to drown.
 

Devajyoti

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While it's hard to accept that we might have been some how even partly responsible for another person's passing, it can be even harder to accept that there was nothing we could have done to prevent it, to accept that we are so completely without power in this bizarre universe. I think the oracle is telling you that you are "innocent" here or that you are not entangled with what happened and therefore you are now faced with the harder task described in 64 which is to recognize this happened, we have no power to change what ever will be and now knowing that, where will you go from here?
thanks, makes me tear up and I dont know.

I often felt he was a iron ball on a chain on my feet...
and this new freedom is painful.

I often thought I would have carried this ironball forever and kissed it into fluid blood of the heart had I just known how to prevent this...
 

Devajyoti

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I felt like: I must mirror some of his actions which I liked, like being angaged here and there in town.
so now I did 3 weeks foodsaving and share with the needy...

He never hesitated to give something to the needy here and there.
 

Devajyoti

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as well I feel I need to care about myself and find good friends.
 

rosada

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Also don't let this event stop you from following your path.
64. Before Completion reminds us the one thing we know about life is
It goes on.
 

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