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Is Miguel Quintero (my father) really my father? Hex 39.1.5 to 36.

Miglix21

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Hello everyone. I hope you are doing fine. I would like help with this reading. The only thing I came up about this is that behind the obstruction there is something hidden. As for the changing lines I guess that it means I will need help to figure it out. What would you suggest me?

I have talked this person over phone and got rejected and we haven't met personally.
 
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Freedda

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Hex. 39 is about how we deal with obstructions, detours, getting around obstacles. The advice here is that when you meet an obstacle, one option is to simply come back to what's familiar (maybe to accept and live with what you already know?);

... and that you can also look for assistance from others (for instance have you asked your birth mother about whom you father is? Or, if this a burning issue, maybe to talk with a counselor or therapist?).

Hex. 36 can be about keeping something - or some part of ourselves - hidden from view. There's lots of reasons for why this could be the case: maybe out of fear, or simply out of a sense of not being ready to reveal what you don't want to reveal.

Here I'd be inclined to consider: this person has their reasons - perhaps very good reasons - to not be as revealing as you'd like them to be. So is there a way you can respect that? On the other hand, it could be that you just have to try harder, though I don't know what that looks like - but maybe to talk with someone, as I mentioned above?

Regards
 

Miglix21

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Thank you for your anwser Freedda. Regarding your advice on the first paragraph I can say that all my life I have lived with what is familiar, never tried to press on the matter. My mother I guess told me a lot of things by her mouth and through her behavior towards the whole issue even in the moments when she was passing away, I feel sad for her.

As regard the second and third paragraph I understand that perhaps out of fear, not being ready or a bigger problem with his former family may be the issue.

I just find unjust to myself that I have to be shunned out of other person and the rest of my family because he is not taking responsibility of his actions (including mom too).

I don't understand where is the respect to myself by him.

But I do also understand that life is the way it is for a reason. So, perhaps things are just like them have to be. It may be not a pleasant experience to myself either, so, if that is the case it is better for life to keep us apart.
 
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Freedda

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I just find unjust to myself that I have to be shunned out of other person ....
Sorry, but that's not making much sense in the English translation?

I have a friend whose family was originally from South American. She recently found out (I'm not sure how) that she has ancestors who were black or African - and this was a huge family secret for many years! It seems odd to both her and I why anyone would care, and maybe that might even be something one could be proud of! But obviously this was something that was 'obscured' by her family for many, many years! And I'm sure there decision to keep this a secret was fueled by centuries of racism, religion, socical status, etc ...

But besides that, I find myself wondering, do you want something more from him - besides just an admission that he is - or may be - your father? That you also want, what, his respect, or? If so, that's an entirely different matter, and one I can't really address.
 

Miglix21

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I still have to practice my English. I will try to rephrase. It is like I find that it is unfair to me not to be able to have some contact or get to know my father and my family just because he is affraid. I know I may sound like an opinionated kid, but that is how I feel about the whole subject.

I am really having a difficult time here, but, I never had the intention to ask for money or to claim inheritance to my siblings ect.

I just wanted to approach.

Regarding your friend, well, that's very common here, still it is. Being afro-descendant was something that was not considered to be good (and in some parts it isn't seen as good) because the slavist-colonial thought of white supremacists still permeates south american societies, even though our afro characteristics are undeniable, check Venezuelan music for example, even if stringed musical instruments of Spaniard origin are used, our rythms, way of signing and drums are totally African.
 
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rosada

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I wouldn't trust my skills as an interpreter to say whether these hexagrams indicated whether this man is or is not your biological father but it does seem weird that if he really knew for certain he was not your father why did he have to be so rejecting? I mean, he could have said something like, "You sound like a very fine person and I would be proud to have been your father but no, there is no way that is possible. Still if it would put your mind at ease I would be willing to do a DNA test." So I think maybe he really is. Especially if your mother told you he is!
However, looking at 36 maybe the I Ching is saying you are better off not being a part of that side of the family. Also, 39.5. I wonder if this line could be saying that you might benefit from considering that not being acknowledged by your birth father might have advantages. Like consider various successful people - "friends" - who were raised by single parents and be inspired.
I wonder if you might benefit from asking the I Ching questions like, "What natural talents and skills have I inherited from my father's side of the family?" Or, "What do I need to know about my father?"
 
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Miglix21

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Thank you very much Rosada. I spoke with him over phone and, it was like hearing myself. It was weird, our voice tones are pretty the same. I think that there is a deep wound inside myself regarding my dad and of course it has to do with perhaps what I would consider an undeserved rejection. I introduced myself with my name, I don't have his last name (only my mother's last name) and I told I was the son of Maritza Méndez, my mother. He said, lowering his voice, that he didn't know who that person was, I asked him to repeat the sentence and he raised his voice repeating the same phrase again, and I told him that it was fine and not to worry about the subject, our call ended there.

Mom said that both my dad and his wife knew about my existence, and that his wife told my mother over
a phone call that she wanted to die when she found out her husband have had a boy outside her marriage.
To make things worst I think, he had already two daugthers and one son with her, and he later had me with my mom.

This could lead me to think that of course I big issue had happened between all of them.
Regarding the root of my question, I think that both the rejection and the need of support are what
makes me ask this question. I am in a very hard phase of my life, I feel I need support and help and I feel
like screaming in a desert or from other viewpoint, a silent scream inside myself, nowhere to reach out
but myself. Where is he? I wonder. I ask myself if I did something wrong? And I want to cry. I know
that from the viewpoint of an adult there isn't something wrong, that's why I say this has to be
a very deep emotional wound from my childhood.

Mom wrote a letter to my dad both in Spanish and English. I will transcribe a part of it:

"The father of my child doesn't have to fear me or think his own son is a potential danger to the peace
and security of his family life. And if he ever wishes, he can make use of the legally accepted scientific
methods available to vanish whatever doubs or internal dispute he may have. I also wish the possibility
to concile and reconcile his life and the need to fulfill the moral obligations to our son.

I leave my door open. If he ever feels curiosity and wants to meet Miguel Alejandro, and to know how his son is, or how is he doing regardless of the time gone by, one, two, five or ten years, he is welcome. No absence can erase his existence and it does not help it either in making believe nothing ever happened.

His refusal to talk about the child and the way he has been acting is not showing me a man who has lived
with many erros but a man who has only demonstrated the worst of his darkest side. I do not want to constitue myself in a judge because this is not a trial. His absence means the greatest defeatg he could ever suffer as a civilized educated, honorable and self-respected man. I must admit that the very thought of this makes me feel miserable. I feel miserable whenever I think my conception of a man is far from coincidential with his. A man is not a man because his morphological differentiation. It takes a difficult situation to prove a man. It requires a lot of courage to admit an error, risk whatever is to be risked and face the consequences of actions. It's exactly the same courage I witnessed at least a dozen times... Triumph and disaster, said Kipplin, two impostors that should be treated the same...

It is a manifestation of humility to realize that legal order, social order, religious order, and all existent orders surrender to the GREATEST NATURAL ORDER THERE CAN EVER EXISTS, ruthless, unavoidable which rules for all past, present and future, eixstent animated or inanimated beings which conform this universe.

That there are things that may be prevented and that others may not is a manifestation of intelligence and to realize that our lives are subject to plans beyond human comprehension. Although we tend to think we can do what we want, it is just an illusion. There's always a price to every deviation from each individual's life plan, regardless of why, what when, where, how or who, regbarless of what we want, desire, dream of, intent, seek, dislike or hate. These deviations turn into the various groupal, PARTNERSHIP, or individual debts. VOLUNTARY, NON-VOLUNTARY, WELL INTENTIONED, ILL-INTENTIONED, CONSCIOUS OR UNCONCIOUS, EXCESS or OMISION DEBTS. And both acquired our share in our PARTNERSHIP the very same day we met in NY. And pay one must, at the right time: when it's least expected. Either when one feels in the realms of peace and/or almost happines or just too ashamed or defeated to bear one more thing. That one's dues for spiritual, moral and material debts are usually a real catastrophe for one pays with what one loves the most, with what hurts one the most or with what is one's most treasured possesion.

I have found in my failures some understanding of my own existence as a soul and in attempting to leave behind my sorrows, my discomfort, my anguish and other limiting feelings I have been constructive to myself. The wounds of the heart can be healed not so the wounds of the spirit, hence I forgive myself, FORGIVE HIM and want to be forgiven in the same way. The most hurting catastrophe I shall ever suffer is the end result of my wrong, unfair, disgraced, alienated and non-corrersponded love. Miguel Alejandro does not deserve the father I gave him as an accident. It is the most cruel thing that could happen to a human being. My love has been so wrong and enough to ruin myself, the man and our son even before he ever existed. So I leave my door open.. deep in my heartg I know it will not only be good for Miguelito but it will do good to him 'cause there's got to be purpose for our errors, and dagain, life has many mysgteries and the world has many strange turns.

Love always.


I feel miserable too. I can't help it. She never spoke bad of him, just said one time he was a coward. Bur re-reading the whole card made me think that I didn't realize the great pain my mother had to endure by this situation, knowing that I would grow without a father. Perhaps she even recalled him every time she saw me because physically we are more alike than his other sons.

Perhaps I am asking the question out of the inoncence of not understaning how can a person be like this, to the point of even asking myself wether he is my dad or not.

However, looking at 36 maybe the I Ching is saying you are better off not being a part of that side of the family. Also, 39.5. I wonder if this line could be saying that you might benefit from considering that not being acknowledged by your birth father might have advantages. Like consider various successful people - "friends" - who were raised by single parents and be inspired.

I don't know how you reached out that conclusion but it seems interesting to me. I didn't see it from that point of view.

I wonder if you might benefit from asking the I Ching questions like, "What natural talents and skills have I inherited from my father's side of the family?" Or, "What do I need to know about my father?"

I will ask the Yi and come back with the anwsers to see if I can feel better about this.
 

long yi

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There are 3 hexagrams here
Hexagram 36.1.5 (Main)
Hexagram 40 (nuclear hexagram of transformed Hexagram 39)
Hexagram 39 (Transformed hexagram).

The base of your reading to find an answer to your question. Hexagram 40 explains that desire.

Your reading in Chinese:

干支:己亥年 丁丑月 乙丑日 丁亥时
旬空:辰巳  申酉  戌亥  午未


六神  伏神    坎宫:地火明夷(游魂)    兑宫:水山蹇
         【本 卦】           【变 卦】
玄武       ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母癸酉金     ▅▅ ▅▅ 兄弟戊子水
白虎       ▅▅ ▅▅ 兄弟癸亥水  ×→  ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼戊戌土
滕蛇       ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼癸丑土 世   ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母戊申金 世
勾陈 妻财戊午火 ▅▅▅▅▅ 兄弟己亥水     ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母丙申金
朱雀       ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼己丑土     ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财丙午火
青龙       ▅▅▅▅▅ 子孙己卯木 应○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼丙辰土 应

Hexagram 36.6 is parents you metal (month void)
Hexagram 39.4 is mou earth shen metal at the external door position (month void)
Hexagram 39.3 is mou bing fire shen metal at the inner door position (month void)
Month pillar is the parents pillar (chou earth) which is same as chou earth line 36.4 officer host line.

Officer line concerns a man which is under day commander and month commander chou earth. You are preoccupied with the interaction with this man.
Parents line are month void. The parents are not interested in providing any feedback.

36.1 is guest line child mao wood which suppresses the host line. Guest line is the other party who see you as a child.
You will not get you answer because they are not interested in any dealings with you.

Hexagram 36 means the children makes the parents suffer (line 1-6 mao wood you metal conflict). It is a soul drifting hexagram.
Hexagram 39 means no emotional attachment among family members.

You can try, but it will not be easy.

Hexagram 39 has no child line.
Officer line (guest line) is at 39.1 which is year void for years to come.
Line 39.4 is parents shen metal and 39.3 is also parents shen metal.
Thus line 1 male officer cannot get to the 39.4 parents easily (host line)
Line 39.5 is officer xu earth which is closer to the 39.4 parents.

It is easier to let it go and not to pursue any further.

Hexagram 39 contains one brother - one officer - one parents in the upper trigram kan, and one wife, one officer and parents in the lower trigram ken mountain.
There are two families here in this situation.
You cannot make any progress. It is better to try other means to go around the obstructions.
 

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