Is she trying to emotionally manipulate me? Hexagram 40.2.4

[giraffecloud]

There's a young lady who used to bully me at school. There were times when I hung out with her but she ended up being abusive. Twenty years on, I got speaking with her again. I accepted her friend request on Facebook. When I bumped into her whilst shopping, she would tell me all her traumatic things that happened to her. Then one day she messaged me to tell me she had been sexually assaulted on a night out and asked for money to cheer herself up. I told her I had none and instead recommended a victim support organisation. Recently I found out her boyfriend died and when I bumped into her, I passed on my condolences and just as I was leaving, she said she suffered a neck injury then added it was from attempted suicide. I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.
Yesterday I attended a sound bath. I had a vision where some girls were being mean to me, so I stuck it to them and it occured to me that this is what I feel like I want to do. Hexagram 40 is about forgiveness but forgiveness just makes me feel resentful.

I don't understand line 2 very well. I only know that foxes are usually used to describe dodgy characters. After reading the Richard Helm translation of line 4, it seems to describe discussing what to do about it with friends.

 

[giraffecloud]

After going over line 4 again. It would appear to be saying that I should deal with my own issues before taking action. The resulting hexagram #2, sounds like it's saying I should discuss this matter with my friends.

 

[diamant]

Hi @giraffecloud ,

Is she trying to emotionally manipulate me? 40.2.4 > 2

40.2 speaks of cunning foxes, so yes, she is trying to manipulate you. It also mentions a yellow arrow, possibly referring to her asking you for money.
40.4 is quite cryptic. Releasing your tumb (or toe), then friends arrive "this trust", or "cut trust". I'm not sure what this line is trying to say.
2 says that we need to make a choice on which friends to follow and which not.

So your intuition, and the fact that you don't want her in your life, both sound great to me. You can forgive her if that's what you want (it's not compulsory). That doesn't mean you have to hang out with her. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.

 

[my_key]

Is she trying to emotionally manipulate me? 40.2.4 > 2

There is a deliverance (40) for you lurking in this situation. Your task is to find it. You are the only person who will be able to say what that deliverance is. Through being receptive (2) to the messages and themes that are unfolding in your exchanges and meetings (not just with the young lady) you will begin to get a sense of what that could be.

The image of 40 gives guidance to 'forgive excesses and pardon offences'. It does not state where, how and at who those compassionate sentiments should be targeted.

40.2 - Keep focussed inwardly on your emotions and feelings that arise over the coming days / weeks. Here you might uncover what is at the root of this matter. (Feeling 'resentful' is a powerful emotion to harbour)
40.4 - Keep focussed on the actions you need to take, or what other support you may need, to navigate your way safely through this situation to calmer waters.

...or it may mean nothing like this at all for you.

Good Luck

 

[giraffecloud]

Thanks, at first I thought that Diamant confirmed my suspicions however I feel that navigating to calmer waters would be the best goal.
I never considered that my feelings would be the foxes but what My_key says about line 4 makes sense because a toe is needed for support and balance. Thanks, both of you.

I did a group meditation tonight, where we explored our safe places. I envisioned a fortress with a nice court yard but it also contained an execution squad. I'm going to do an I ching reading on the meaning of the squad.

 

[giraffecloud]

The reading asking about the vision of the execution squad resulted in hexagram 12.5, blockage. In the vision I had, outside the fortress was a busy market place with people talking to each other. I think 12 is very appropriate imagery. It's like I'm blocking people from all the good things I have to offer (Hexagram 35) and sabotaging relationships that could be good if it wasn't for the fact I'm prepared to shoot them down at the first hint of treachery.

 

[diamant]

I find it worrying that you still don't want to 'shoot her down'. She has proven to you, in multiple ways, since your youth and to this day, that she's not a constructive character. And yet you still want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Please have a look inwards to examine why you have such few boundaries.

 

[giraffecloud]

You know Diamant, I feel that you are correct about her being a dodgey character afeter given it more thought today. I must learn to trust my instincts and I think I'll take you up on searching why I lack boundaries.

 

[giraffecloud]

Just now, I unfriended the her and her Mum on Facebook. If anything happens, I'll keep you updated.