Is this breakup permanent?

[psychonaut613]

We were very happy together. A big fight happened last night.
She broke up with me and told me to leave her alone and never talk to her again.

I don't know if this was a less effective way to ask, but I asked if there was any hope for the situation.
I got 21. biting through unchanging

I asked if she actually loves me(I was never sure, I have a few personal issues) and got 44. coming to meet, lines 1,2,3,5 changing to 21. biting through

Usually, when we fight, we make up pretty quickly and start phoning or texting within a certain time frame. This frame passed, so I asked if I should try to contact her right now and got 45. gathering together, line 6 changing to 12. standstill

I read many posts here on the different hexes and lines I got and, wishful thinking possibly of course, but 44 says don't grasp the woman, but one post I read suggests a more accurate interpretation is that this is a respectful or strong lady(that you can't just hold in the palm of your hand) and line 5 about me possibly holding something back and that the outcome could be good. 21 unchanging seems sort of
self explanatory and 45 line 6 changing to 12 looks like it may take a while? I sent a txt saying that i loved her and some other things, but, no response so far.

Please and thank you for your time, insight and wisdom, everybody :bows:

 

[redarmada]

Well, there are several things going on here.

On 21 unchanging- I would say, off the bat, that in these sorts of situations, I know that I am likely to beg the Yi for reassurance rather than sincerely asking for advice, and I see that in other peoples' questions as well. This is sort of how I see your question "Is there any hope"- it's a yes or no question, and the Yi doesn't deal in strict black-and-white answers, the Yi speaks about the constant change which occurs. That's what "Biting Through" is saying here, I think- it's not that you will or won't bite through unconditionally, "hope" isn't in the equation- if you want there to be change, you have to bite through to the truth.

As far as Hexagram 44.1.2.3.5, I think that it's connected to the above answer, and what I see here is a statement about your question. The Woman is independent, and an equal worthy of your respect and consideration- but you are thinking of her as a puzzle that you can get the "right answer" to. So the question is being turned back on you- is this really the way to find that out? And are you sure you want to know? Line 1 says "proceeding probing sees a pitfall"- if you go nosing about in the mysteries of emotions uninvited, you will not be happy with what you see. You are moving "haltingly" because of the pain (line 3). Lines 2 and 5 are more troublesome to me, but they suggest maybe that there is something there that you're looking for- there's fish to eat, there's a melon that's hidden beneath the leaves. I'm not sure what your "personal issues" are, but I can understand that deep desire to know that you're wanted- but the way to "bite through" to that truth is not to treat The Woman like something you can just "figure out".

So, should you call her- 45.6- I think it makes sense to see "Standstill" as being where you are right now. 45 is gathering, meaning, taking the actions necessary to gather the people together. There's a harvest in "proceeding probing", in moving forward looking for the necessary information, and in determination, but the King has to serve the temple- you have to show that you are serving the relationship between you and her and not just seeking selfish gains. Line 6: I think the Yi is telling you that the best way to go about this is to cry out about what you're feeling, show her the pain that this breakup/"Standstill" is causing you, sincerely. It's your "great sacrificial animal"- you've got to come out with it. Success isn't guaranteed, it's not the wrong move.

That's what I see here. Hopefully somebody more experienced can give some more potent interpretations to you, but I hope that this is helpful.

 

[psychonaut613]

crap. so we agreed to be friends for a while, but I came over and we cuddled(no sex) and had a great time, then today she hits me with ending the relationship again, even tho we're supposed to be friends?
I asked about my best course of action 3.1.2.4>47

 

[redarmada]

Hexagram 3 is Sprouting or Difficulty at the beginning... This is a situation which is just starting- you aren't even at the point at which there is necessarily a course of action. Consider the sprout of a plant in a field- it needs time to grow and strengthen itself, if you fuss with it too much trying to make it come out the "right" way, you could damage it just as much as help its growth. The harvest is "determination", not "proceeding probing"- so the more you worry at and pick at the situation with your thoughts and words, instead of staying strong and allowing it to unfold, the more you barriers you will create.

Line 1 is a "settling determination"- Hilary has it as "encircled by stones". If you want this situation to grow, you are going to have to first settle down and sit tight.
Line 2 is about stops and starts- "then sprouting, then proceeding with difficulty, then driving a team of horses"- start, stop, fast, slow. This is a delicate situation and it seems to me that your friend might not be all the way settled about how she feels about it. But this difficulty and wavering is "no bandit"- it's not something you should fear, it's a "marital suitor" that you should embrace. But it might be a long time before the "babies" are born.
Line 4- Here, it seems like the Yi is telling you that you are doing the right thing to proceed into the uncertain situation: the subject of the line is driving their chariot to propose a marriage, they don't know what the answer will be, imagine the worry and uncertainty of that ride. BUT, it is auspicious to proceed in this way- there will be a harvest.

There are several lines about marriage here, which I think is interesting, given that you are asking about a relationship. Looking at these lines suggests to me that your best course of action is (frustrating as it sounds) to wait and see what sprouts- there is good reason to think that, if you don't damage the sprout, there will be a good harvest for you. I don't think that necessarily means that you will get back together with her- the Yi doesn't make those sorts of guarantees lightly, and anything can change. But at the very least, the situation as of Line 2 and 4 seems to say that what looks like a painful and uncertain void is actually the space that something good will grow into. I'm not sure exactly what to make of the "feudal lords" that H3 talks about- but I would hazard a guess that this means you should look to friends who can help keep up your morale while you watch the development of the situation.