Is this love 63.5 > 36

[JoeCampbell]

Hello everyone

It's a strange question I know, "Is this love?" after all, we are told that love is something you feel and the whole "falling in love" piece is such a huge part of our culture. And yet, and yet.
I do wonder if "falling in love" is actually the thing.

I have been married before, have loved and lost like so many of us and now I stand at a crossroads trying to figure out a way forward. For the past 12 months I have been in a relationship[with a lovely woman who loves me very much. I like her very much and would like to continue and to see how it grows. And at the same time I feel like I am being unfair because I do not feel the whole "in love" thing. Am I wrong? Should I break it off?

There are other elements at play here. She lives in the UK, I live in Denmark. I have set the wheels in motion to move back to the UK (I am English) and have my employers agreement for me to do this, but the thought terrifies me. My life in DK is good, comfortable, predictable and honestly, stagnant.

So. whilst we won't live together initially, the intention would be to give the relationship a better chance as the long distance set up is not sustainable in the long term.

There it is, I seem unable to get a reliable "feeling" around love, but a pretty solid one of fear at the thought of moving back to the UK.
63.5 talks about an unequal sacrifice and benefiting only if one is sincere - and I have not been - I have tried to be in love, I have forced the agenda time wise, relying internally on a sense of it being a good next step for me but without actually being excited about it...

Am I asking the wrong question? When I asked about staying in DK, I got 47 Confined!
When I ask about moving to the UK, I get 60.5 > 19 - which seems pretty good.

Where to begin?
Thank you for any input

Michael

 

[Gaia99]

I'm only beginner/intermediate at the I-ching...from what I know is that anything hexagram 63 is fantasy or fantastical...63.5 is the most unchallenging line and that states of some sort of compromise and that it's ok for now. Also the 36 is the fan yao (the context) so the context is telling you "Darkening of the Light", a place of shadyness and dangerous uncertainty.

Illusion in love...
but sometimes we need that illusion to get us by with what's in front of us. Amitoufo

P.S.
I hope someone comes along and answers you better then what I could...I responded because I've gotten that line many times and it always meant "meh" not really...

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi Michael,

"Is this love?"
63.5 to 36 ~ "Your heart says no."

Here's Joey Yap's "Plum Blossom Divination" on 63.5:

Line text: "The neighbor who slaughters an ox in the East does not attain as much genuine happiness as the neighbor in the West with one's small offering.

"Times of great culture also influence the sacred forms, and the older, simple ones are replaced by more intricate or decorative rituals and forms of external display. Inner seriousness is under danger, and the divine is able to see into the heart."

General Luck: "On the whole, one can expect a combination of good and bad. Be prepared for some unexpected developments. Avoid ruining long-term progress and development for momentary, short-term pleasure or profits. One should be particularly careful about being backstabbed."

Relationships: "Unfortunately, the relationship is unlikely to be approved by the mother, and as a result it will undergo much strain. In addition, there will be interference by a third party with ill intentions who harbors a desire to sabotage the relationship. As a result, the relationship will fall out pretty quickly."

Stay in DK? 47 ~ that's clear.

Move to UK? 60.5 to 19 ~ "Going on a journey will bring rewards."

So, why not move back to the UK, with a plan to wait-and-see how you feel after settling down from the change?

Part of what you are 'seeing' and 'feeling' right now is dimmed by your own reluctance to jump from your snug and cozy lily pad. This is understandable, because we humans tend to generically resist change, and we like to 'nest' where we're at, even if it's less than perfect.

I read the Yi as saying ~ move back, endure the transition, and your heart will get a truer reading on your relationship ~ and then you'll know which way to go.

Is that a possibility?

I hope this helps!

 

[long yi]

Relationship analysis 63.5 to 36

This is your iching reading in the original Chinese six line method
起卦时间：2016年08月03日02时18分
起卦农历：丙申年七月初一日丑时
神煞：天乙—酉亥　福星—酉　日禄—午　羊刃—巳　驿马—亥　桃花—午　华盖—丑
干支：丙申年　乙未月　丁巳日　辛丑时
旬空：辰巳　　辰巳　　子丑　　辰巳

六神　 伏神 　　　坎宫：水火既济　　　　　　　　坎宫：地火明夷（游魂）
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟戊子水　应　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母癸酉金　　
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼戊戌土　　○→　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟癸亥水　驿马　
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊申金　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼癸丑土　世
滕蛇　妻财戊午火　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟己亥水　世　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟己亥水　驿马　
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼己丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼己丑土　　
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己卯木　应

Your change hexagram 36 composes of kun earth (line 4-6) and li fire (line 1-3).
On the basis of relationship in Plum flower iching analysis, the fire produces the earth. The system (you are in) produces the change (her). According to the teaching: 占婚姻以體為主，用為婚姻。體生用，婚難成，或因婚有失. In English, this relationship will not work because you are the driving force and she is not giving the buy-in.

Line 63.3 is the host line. It is brother hai water. This means (a) there are love rivals, the female has choices; (b) you are eager to close the deal to be with her. Hai water is the movement star. You are thinking of moving.

63.3 has a hidden female behind the host line. There is another man or third party. She has business with someone else (cannot tell male or female, or parents or other matters), and not you. Female wu fire is associate with “fling”. You have a fling.

63.4 is the relationship line shen metal. This is the month of wei earth and will change into shen metal in a matter of hours. This is the year of shen metal. Your time of reading is si fire. Si fire couples with shen metal. I suspect that you really want a relationship “shen metal” in August to Sept 3.

Since the timing is wrong, this relationship will not work in the longer term.

The relationship line transforms from 63.4 shen metal to 36.6 you metal. It advances, but six line means that she is far away from you. 36.6 relationship you metal conflicts with the child line mao wood. If anyone has a child, this may also be the problem.

There is 2 officer lines (63.5, 63.2). 63.2 is the man with chou earth which is the empty element under your house of spouse (day of reading). 63.2 is inside the inner trigram. You will not be the man of choice because of the distances apart. Officer chou earth is also in 36.2 and 36.4.The change hexagram does not show your immediate presence.

63.3 is a yang line (host line). Her line (63.6 guest line) is yin line. The yin and yang are reversed. One must accept the truth that 63.6 is brother zi water. She has other choices as partners. She is not thinking about you.

Hexagram 36 refers to a broker heart. 36.5 refers to “do not do anything for now, and do not plan anything". Hexagram 36 means the soul drifting. It is not settled. Hexagram 36 means either rushes to marriage or wait for a long time. If you know things will not work, why bother to even try to reach an agreement.

Hexagram 36 may be equivalent to Three of Pentacles in a Tarot card reading. You are trying hard to build the relationship on good foundations, and have a strong sense of commitment and growth within the relationship. However, one of you or both of you are married to work in the career.

Since the female line does not appear on hexagram 63, you will not get the commitment you needed. Slow down and do some fact finding yourself. Hexagram 63 means completion. Thus chaos follow. This is not the time to rush into things.

 

[mirian]

63.5 > 36
I think this line basically says that sincerity, honesty and purpose are more important than big displays and elaborate plans. Trying to put together a big show, scheme or structure does not work if deep down you don't feel or believe it.

 

[JoeCampbell]

Dear Mirian, Long Yi and Gaia99 - thank you all so much for your input. Mirian, as ever you hit the nail on the head. Yesterday evening was a lot of sincerity and honesty - and it hurt too. So now we are pausing and reflecting. There are so many things impacting this relationship at the moment. So, step 1, the move to the UK, then review from there.
As I generally try to do with this forum, I will keep this reading updated as it may be useful for others.
Thanks again
Michael

 

[arbole]

63.5 > 36
I think this line basically says that sincerity, honesty and purpose are more important than big displays and elaborate plans. Trying to put together a big show, scheme or structure does not work if deep down you don't feel or believe it.

Yeah, i really liked a question made by a i ching blogger. That this line is like a question of "Do you give because you feel it, or do you give wainting something in return?".

Maybe the i ching was questioning you back? Like, for you to see if you or him/her are giving because you are feeling, or its a relationship of giving expecting something in return.