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Is this the partner for me?

mindful_seeker

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I am given this answer: 38.1.5 > 6

These lines seem to contradict. Or maybe this is about my inner state and not about the potential relationship?
 

yly2pg1

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It maybe about the reality. This is how i read the lines:

If the partner is yours, he will return.
So, take a break for the time being.
Do not put yourself in a conflict situation (in a relationship?).
 

mindful_seeker

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This makes sense. It also goes back to the 5 unchanging I was given the other day. Perhaps I should listen to it??
 

dobro p

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"Is this the partner for me?

I am given this answer: 38.1.5 > 6"

Forces polarized in a way that evokes or echoes contention and/or conflict.

LOL Doesn't seem very partner-like from where I'm sitting.
 

frank

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Hi Mindful-seeker,

It looks to me that there are some oposits between you two. Do you both want the same things in life? Looking to the trigrams I should say one of you wants to settle (fire - attachment), and the other one wants more emotions in the relationship where the one who wants to seddle could be more rational. The battle (6) of the sexes is about what YOU want with it, and how far you go (over your own borders) to get it...

Just a thought.

Hug,
Frank
 

mindful_seeker

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Well, Omshante on the other thread seems convinced we are meant to be with each other. I appreciate the reading. I'm starting to wonder about what is truly meant to be.

Of course, I had asked several questions, so there is always the possibility that the above answer wasn't a direct answer to my question, but was rather an picture of my own inner conflict about my feelings and about what to do.

-mindful seeker
 

dobro p

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"there is always the possibility that the above answer wasn't a direct answer to my question, but was rather an picture of my own inner conflict about my feelings and about what to do."

Which is always, and always, and ALWAYS the big issue when you're reading a Yi result - is it answering your question directly, or is it addressing something in you or your approach to the issue that is more important than your question?

And even if you get *that* right, and understand more or less what the Yi's saying, are you then going to harmonize yourself with it and take its advice, or are you going to go your own way? (And if the latter, why'd you consult the oracle in the first place? duh...)

Loads of ways to go wrong. It's one of the beauties of the thing, actually.
 

matcortigiani

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Hello everybody,

2 hexagrams out of 64 with the same meaning: opposition, quarrel, conflict.

I humbly think that 2 good moving lines cannot overthrow a global answer that says, above any suspicion, "no".

Or, in a more polite or complex reading, something like "although there are differences at the basis, for a short story or something not very important the relation may work; so we'll be together for a while; but in the end there will be a great dispute, and we'll split".

But in the end, for the sake of the life, I think that sometimes it is time to live, to pray and to take our chances!

...and so, why am I keeping on bothering the Oracle dozens of times asking if I will change job, even after it clearly answered me "NO"?
Human weakness, I guess.

Have a nice week end

Matt
 

pagan

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Hi Yly2pg1
I understand your comment:
"If the partner is yours, he will return." as 38 line 1.
I don't get where you get:
"So, take a break for the time being." Does this refer to 38.5? If so, why?
I understand your comment
"Do not put yourself in a conflict situation (in a relationship?)." as changing to hexagram 6.

38.5 seems to say that there are misunderstandings that will clear up in time--is this why one should take a break?

I read hex 6 as two diametrically opposite points of view, both correct from their own contextual standpoint, but unresolveable in the current situation. Therefore, retreat is the best course of action. Other 'chingueros' think that hexagram 6 calls for compromise, but from the commentaries I read, no compromise is possible in the situation.
 

mindful_seeker

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Well, there is the other thread where I've discussed this same relationship. After we spent the evening together I recieved 11.1 > 46
 

yly2pg1

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Hi Pagan, i wrote my opinions based on the theme that the seeker's friend has not been ready yet to commit to the relationship (due to one reason or another). I take 6 to address my concern that there is a potential conflicting elements in seeker's friend mind. To further pursuing the course may further intensify the conflicts within.
 

mindful_seeker

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Well, interesting. A conflicting element in his mind? Perhaps. He told me today he believes we think differently and this could be a problem down the road. We spent time together last night. I've been sitting with the experience all day. I realize, the bottom line for me is that I deserve someone who is really excited about me. We do like each other, genuinely. We have fun together. For me, that makes it natural to go further. Not so, I guess, for him.

Who knows why people are interested in each other or not interested. Surely I seem to be lost when it comes to this. Whatever specifically has gotten in the way of us going forward, I just don't know.
 

yly2pg1

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Hi Mindful seeker,

You and your friend are good match (31.5). In a relationship, however, this alone may not be enough.

The conflicting element in your friend could be he own expectation, his own fantacies or the image of his old lover? (That is why you get 5).

The only thing i could safely say is that you do not have much say here. The more you enter his "inner zone", the more he could feel about the conflicts within. If he told you that you and him are different, it is because he feels his inner conflicts which may or may not have anything to do with you!

Only when his inner conflicts reside, then it could be time to tell if he is your true partner.
 

mindful_seeker

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Yes, he did tell me he has this ideal for how smoothly the right relationship would go. We sometimes have to talk through things (which we always do successfully!) which I feel is just part of learning about each other. (We do not repeat the same lessons, just new ones.) He feels it should all just flow all the time. I think this is fantasy. Does this describe what you mean by inner conflict?
 

yly2pg1

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ideal partner?

In true sense, there is no ideal partner in life. It takes one to cherish what we have after we have gone through life. Unfortunately this is always the case in a relationship.

If you are able to embrace the insight beauty of 5, most probably you will be able to 'see' his inner conflicts in a better perspective and you will tell if he is your ideal partner before he is going to tell that
 

pagan

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I remember years ago when a man that I was going out with was really frustrated with me. I liked him a lot but I was desperately in love with another man who had dissed me. Finally one night it came to a head and he became angry that I rejected his affection so I just blurted out that I was in love with this other guy, and can't shake it even though the guy I was in love with made it clear he didn't want me.

I was really surprised at how relieved he was that I confessed that to him. He said to me "well, I guess if you are in love with someone else, then it really isn't about me. All this time I thought there was something I was doing to cause you to not trust me." I mistakenly thought it would hurt him more if I told him that I was in love with someone else, but it became clear to me that I should have been honest from day 1.

That was a difficult time for me because friends and family kept telling me to go out and get a life, but it didn't seem fair to the guys that I went out with during that time in my life. And the truth of it is that if the man that I was in love with then showed up at my doorstep today, I would fall head over heels again. I have learned to live with the limp, but the first cut is the deepest.

I say this because perhaps your fence sitting friend is secretly in love with someone and suffering like I was. That could be why he clings to a platonic relationship with you (at least emotionally platonic).
 

mindful_seeker

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Pagan, thanks for offering your story to me. I don't know if this applies to my friend, but I don't think it does. Who knows? One thought I have had today is how we started out as friends. He is almost my girlfriend in so many ways. Of course it's been difficult for us to make the leap. And -- yes of course I want my lover to also be my friend. But transitioning my friend to my lover is something I've never done.

I'm just going to be patient and see what happens. What else can I do?

-mindful seeker
 

anita

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Hmmm...friend to lover? I doubt that works. However, I think the answer just means that you should allow things to happen and be patient. And then line 5 - someone, if not him, will cut through to you. the hex 6 I think may just be the background of your situation - instead of the future.

Best for your Quest
Anita
 

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