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Isolated, permanently lovelorn?

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citizenkoine

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Hello Everyone,

I've petitioned for a new name... this will do for the time being, until Hilary gets back.

I feel unsuccessful at love. I put a series of questions to the Yi, regarding two themes, alternately. The first is an up-in-the-air meeting with an attractive young woman, ten years my junior. After an entire semester of mutual flirtation, I made a drunken pass at K., which she merely diverted... if it was a rebuff, it was so gentle that it didn't seem like one.

I send her many messages, but she only replies when I finally suggest that it seems that she's choosing not to reply. She finally mentioned that she's 'not sure what's going on' with a break-up, a month ago, with her boyfriend of one year. And that she and I could only be friends (I had told her that I was in love with her). 'Do you want to be friends with me?' 'Yes', I replied, wondering if it is a lie, after I'd previously stated that friendship was a compromise. I told her that I'm not sure how to go about being her friend, to which she replied 'Oh, we'll be in touch.'

Common sense tells me that I'm being a fool, and cornered by mixed messages. This woman introduced herself to me, and has made many advances when I least expected her to. She may just be both friendly and terminally attractive... I have seen her flirt with other men. The dialog ended, above, when she left for winter break, early xmas week. I haven't heard from her, and she's due to return any day. I am sitting on my hands, trying not to email her, or advance in any way.

To the I Ching:

What sort of future is there for K. and I?;
28.1.4.5 > 11
ominous, but no blame. And Tai the outcome?

What can I do to cultivate peace, prosperity, and community?;
16.2.4 > 7

How to pursue K.?;
29
I have this habit, you see.

How to integrate my life such that I find a true mate?;
2.4 > 16
According to Karcher, '04, I already have what I require in front of me.

And finally: Contact K.?;
12
This seems pretty clear to me.

The first two readings are the most nuanced, and difficult for me to 'put-together' (hence, the successive castings). The fourth reading is perniciously oblique, although it confirms the previous result of 16.

It might be helpful to mention that I have some abandonment issues regarding my mother, who was a fashion model in the 60's, and is now a Jungian analyst. She left me with my father at 9mos.-old, where I stayed until I was 14. When I asked to live with her then, she, remarried, replied that I would have to go to boarding-school (and I did). So our relationship has been 'consistently intermittent'. She is my sole surviving parent, and I am 37y.o.

So, I tend to be attracted to conventionally beautiful women, who at the same time seem difficult to approach. That is the pattern. I have broken out of (through) it before, but not without running into later stages, further down the road. There is alot more to this, obviously, but this post must end somewhere.

Thanks to all who consider my questions.
 

stuart

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28 1-4-5.
Could the first reading suggest perhaps some sort of short lived venture.Well the first line is careful and perhaps charming.The fourth moves closer and balances the situation;and should not add to it.line five something happens which is unusual and satisfying but not long lasting.
to find a true mate.2-4
Learn when you can influence with sincerity in speach.Think about what to say carefully.
 

frank

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Hi Citizenkoine,

I so much recognise this stuff :-D. Altough I did not make a drunken pass on my "K"..., my mom was not a fashionmodel in the 60's and it is already going on for 14 months, instead of a semester..., the rest of your story is very true to me too :-D.
She started to contact me first,,, Well, maybe it's just the ego that tells me that... Up to your questions...

1. Sort of future for K and you... (28 > 11)
- There's tension now, to much pressure,,, lighten up a little,,, this is more about your emotional attachment then the 'future' thing... You have to be relaxed first (11) :-D,

2. What can you do,,peace, etc... (16 > 7)
- 16 to me means something like "enthousiastic before the ballgame started, eventhough you actually do not know if the team is going to win...". Be more of a general, the referee on the field if you want to, instead of the soldier, or the man to suport... Do not stand on the sideline... Also do not be to tence to find peace... BE peacefull :-D

3. How to integrate your life... (2 > 16)
- YOUR life into any mate, or in K's :-D? The Yi is telling you to let go your own control for that part and let yourself be let... If you want to cultivate peace in the bond with K go just do that... If you want to integrate, you should 'wait and see' what's there to integrate with...

4. Contact K? (12)
- Hell NO :-D...

Mmm,, some double answers here... I guess the Yi is challenging you... first to calm down a little... BE peacefull, no mather for whom... then start to integrate, as SHE responds...

I hope this is really making some sence and I do wish you all the luck in the world with this, because when I receive these questions I would have made at least contact already and started to become emotional unbalanced (as I did!). I supose the Yi knows what's best to do here... Have a bit patience... And be free to ask more questions...
Maybe day by day... then when the Yi is finnaly come up with 11 or something (35, 42... etc) THEN is the time to proceed in contact.... But not today...

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank
 

alterbukintervw

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Thank you so much, both. It is rewarding indeed to hear other, interested and informed perspectives; the Yi is constant, and so necessarily complemented by we myriad things, you know?

I wonder, if I haunt these discussion threads, will these desires become transparent?

I'm looking for something very specific... and the I Ching has been central to that search for about 13 years. I think I might discover so much more about BEING ALIVE by being in a monogamous relationship; and at the same time, I see the ensuing desire as 'counterproductive', or maybe 'self-regenerating'. Perhaps I'll generate more response in another thread. Thanks some more.
 

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