Jane

[jahjoz]

I have been in a constant state of confusion over this situation and it is driving me nuts. When my children were younger I shifted countries to attempt to get my son out of trouble but then as soon as he was 18 he went back then my daughter followed. I stayed as my mother is old and my sister very clingy and also not well. Meanwhile my son became addicted to alchohol as he associated with his father who drinks too. Now I feel I should go back to help them sort it all out. If I go I will lose my house and all my possessions. Still I think I should go as they need my help. My daughter is alone in attempting to keep the show on the road, going to univerisity and working at the same time. Its all rather grim. Friends there say I should come back. I am a little scared and have got reading 5. Actually I have had hundreds of different readings but I have booked a ticket and now am just lying in bed going bonkers as how to get it done.

 

[Trojina]

when you say 'reading 5' do you mean you got hexagram 5 unchanging ? You haven't said what your question was either

 

[klklkl]

I am new to i ching but to me, hexagram 5 reflects waiting - being patient and waiting for things to unfold, for a solution? It sounds like they need you, I think you have made the right decision to go back to them.

 

[RindaR]

Understanding the response depends on the question you asked. It might have been something like how can I get there? or how will it be if I try to help? or what if I can't help?

This retired substance abuse counselor believes in natural consequences as the biggest motivator towards change with regard to substance use, as difficult as that may be. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

One desperate mother asked a colleague how she could help her son who was killing himself with alcohol. She was told "buy him a headstone". The point of that was to bring home to the son just how serious his problem was, and to bring home to the mother that he had to make his own decisions - _nothing_, absolutely nothing she could do would help until he made up his own mind that he had to change.

 

[jahjoz]

I go round and round this question as the situation is much of my making. I changed the country and then they left and went back and then I ended up here looking after other members of my family. Its so complicated its almost beyond my comprehension. Here I am in a lovely home that is not mine but with restrictions and my children are in another country struggling. Why? They wanted to go home to where they came from. Too complicated. The iching says if you are really patient in this situation it will work out but if you go it may not but you will have companionship. My daughter says don't worry mum but I miss them.

 

[jahjoz]

One thing is it has made me think. Still panicking about what is the right thing to do but have realised one thing and that is I have to get my life together. That means stop stressing over every little thing and worrying and over thinking everything. Reading all the posts has been very informative. I always think its because of this or that but am beginning to think No its about how I deal with things. Bury my head in the sand with my legs kicking in the air.

 

[qafinaf]

I think you are right to look after yourself and to ground your own energy. Head in the sand can be nice if your heart is calm. Change happens and it is uncertain, so how can you be at peace with that?

Hexagram 5 involves holding back somewhat. Not rushing in but keeping your peace, cultivating joy in the moment, in small ways, like through eating together. Spending time together, in calm and safety.

You can't make things happen, try inviting them to unfold in a balanced way. But you must be balanced within.