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Judge's decision about reuniting for a vacation with my family? Hexagram 37 to 45

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casstone

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I'm living a rather complicated situation as I've mentioned before in threads on this forum.
I share custody over my daughter with her father and therefore I must obtain his consent in order to travel outside the country with her which he won't grant me.
So I started a legal battle in order to obtain the permission to travel with my daughter for 2 weeks to my native country, if not from the father, then from the judge.
The battle has been going on for over a year now and we've recently received the judge's decision after out first appeal.

Before receiving the decision I tossed the coins and asked: What will be the judge's decision regarding my request to reunite, along with my daughter, for this brief period with my family? (In other words; will he grant me the permission to go or not)

I got hexagram 37, changing to 45


What would you make of that?
 

Trojina

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You'll get more answers if you write the lines in...I for one cannot do it in my head...

After finding pen and paper,
this is 37.1.3.4.6>45


But you say the judge already gave you his decision so is your question a test for us to see if we can figure what happened ?


Well it can only be 'yes he did' or 'no he didn't' so I'd be inclined to go with 'yes he did grant permission'

What cast could look more like being reunited with family than 37>45

Also I feel your post is a happy one. Playful. I do not think you would have posted this question if you did not receive permission.

I hope I am right and you and your daughter have a joyful reunion with your family ....:)
 
C

casstone

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I'm sorry, I didn't insert the changing lines because I thought perhaps there were too many and therefore irrelevant?

I've been wondering for quite some time why I keep getting extremely positive readings about this situation while in reality, nothing's moving my way.

37>45 does indeed seem like the perfect image of reuniting with ones family. I can't think of any other hexagram that represents this idea better!

The judges decision remained the same though. I am not allowed to travel to my native country with my daughter.
 

Trojina

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Shame.

Perhaps it is moving your way but you can't see how it is moving your way yet.

I didn't totally understand what you were aiming to do in the first post ? As you already knew the answer did you post the cast as a test or did you want an interpretation ?

Our idea of 'positive' might be limited at times. Perhaps an even better outcome is achievable though you cannot see it now.
 
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casstone

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I was curious to know how others might interpret it. I didn't want to influence the interpretation with the facts just yet.

I'm quite puzzled about this reading, and the previous ones about this matter as well!

Either way, I'm sure that one day I will be able to go for a visit to my native country along with my daughter, but I'm also quite sure that this will take a long time to happen. So that's why I formulated my question for the present moment, i.e. whether the judge would Now grant the permission or not.

It'd be interesting to get a different take on this seemingly positive (for my question) reading
 

peter2610

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Hi Casstone,

37,1,3,4,6 - 45

Shared parenting - these situations can be horrendously complex, they are seldom a case of 'everybody's happy, we all get on very well'' so I'm afraid it's a question of giving as much information as you feel you can share without embarrassing yourself or your (step) daughter. Does the father have legal-custody? Is she routinely available to you? Was she herself eager to go on this trip with you? ....etc etc.

The reading is giving you an indication of how the I Ching sees your situation. 1st yang and 3rd yang - from a situation of security and contentment you have emerged to enforce your will upon the father (When tempers flare up.... Wilhelm). 4th yin 'She is the treasure of the house' - Carol Anthony's commentary on this line describes your situation in detail - have you considered the impact of your actions on the father and the daughter, have you considered that the daughter might not want to see her father taken to court and forced to give way. Top yang - If you persevere, acknowledge your position and work sincerely within it you will eventually receive recognition from the entire family. By appointing yourself as the girl's 'father' instead of 'step-father' you are revealing your earnest desire to completely replace him and this will only release his unbridled resentment and animosity. Not the way to go.
 
C

casstone

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Hi,
first of all, I am her mother and she is not my stepdaughter. She is my daughter. She lives with me and sees her father rarely, according to court rulings, even though we share custody.
This is due to the fathers past (and present) behavior towards me and my daughter such as stalking, child abduction and other problems.

My daughter is extremely excited about going on a trip to her other country, she already knows our closest family members well and she speaks the language perfectly etc, etc. She is still of a very young age though so I'm really not keeping her involved in any way nor have I told her I'm trying to go on a vacation with her there and absolutely she is kept out of everything that has to do with lawyers and courts. She keeps telling me she wants to go there though, asks me when we finally will go and so on..

Nobody is trying to replace the father and he obviously knows that. He is saying no to this because that is his nature, that's his game and since he has the power to say no, he says it.
 
C

casstone

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Anyways, this reading seems to have given me the wrong answer, doesn't it?
 

Trojina

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No I don't think it's a wrong answer it's just an answer you don't understand and we will find it hard to understand because we aren't you.

I wondered how old the child was...looked back and you've been here before with the 'wrong readings' thing http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?19367-Was-I-Ching-repetedly-wrong


The reading might look like a picture of the child being protected. 37.1.3.4.6>45

So 45 is about gathering resources together to meet the unforeseen, to protect, to hold together. Looking at the lines it could look like a picture of the actual child...that is line 1 does connect with a child within the family and the boundaries there need to be for it to feel safe. 37.3 speaks for itself, it is generally better to take things more seriously than less seriously in matters of order within the home.
37.4 a child treasured by the home. 37.6 looks very much like a wise decision by the judge.

Don't shoot me :hide: I don't know the situation well I'm just trying to see the reading from the point of view of the child's best interests, not yours.

If I take the reading to be all about the welfare of the child, not about what you want, then it looks an excellent reading.


Also presumably the judge must act in the best interests of the child. Not in the interests of the father or you. Neither of you matter here as much as the child does. So what if the judge is right that it is better for the child not to be taken abroad with you ? Is that possible in your view ? I looked at the last thread so I see she is 4 years old. What reason did the judge give that you could not travel with her ? He must have given a reason ?


Anyway if this reading describes what is actually best for the child then it looks like 37.1.3.4.6>45 means that the decision taken by the judge is in the best interests of the child.

It looks a picture of a child being protected , being gathered in by the family. The judge made the decision to keep the child 'gathered in (45) the safe boundaries of the family.


You say she really wants to go with you but children of that age often go along with what mummy or daddy want them to say.


Do you think it possible that for some reason the judge made the right decision because it is actually better for the little girl to stay where she is ? Might travelling abroad destabilise her in some way ?

I don't mean to imply anything I'm just looking at the reading as if it were about a decision about child care....and whichever way you look at it this looks a good reading for giving a child security.


So it is a good 'positive' cast if what has happened is actually best for your child ?
 

Trojina

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Apart from that it may mean other things....I don't know.

Maybe the 45 is about you and him gathering together to give her a stable base so you aren't fighting each other and then he wouldn't object to her going ? Hmm not the question you asked though.

But the thing is you wouldn't need judges if you and he could communicate. You communicated enough to make a child .....might better communication ever occur again so then you can go where you want ?


Sorry if not possible but it does seem easier. Another way to see it, as I said earlier is that you get to take her one way or another in time to come ? Or your family come to you...or ?


I am wondering though if Yi is addressing what is best for the child.
 

Tim K

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I've received a lot of h45 (uc and with line 4) while making a decision to sell my car. (I did sell and now I feel free as a bird)
For me 45 means sacrifice, give up the attachment, the struggle, the desire.

At first the lines look good, but Richmond's comments are not so positive.
He writes about a family as an enclosed unit, staying within(1), working out problems finding a compromise without 'spilling it outside'(3), giving up the struggle(4), uniting (6) and then the problem will disappear.

However after reading about your husband I don't think that's possible. So I decided to try a transitional method, I think it's the more correct way to read the flow of hexagrams, seeing the changes step by step.
37.1 → 53.3 → 20.4 → 12.6 → 45
1. Steady seclusion within the family. Remorse dwindles. [Wilhelm]

3. The man departs and does not return. The woman carries a child but does not deliver it to the world. Misfortune! It is advantageous to fight off robbers. [Wilhelm]
3. Identity's need for activity tempts us to move, activity is its food, but here it will lead us astray. [Richmond]

4. Look impartially at the social situation. [Daniels]

6. Obstructions can be removed. There is joy. [Daniels]

Not so good now huh?
The most negative here is 53.3. I think you are at that point now.

Know your place in the social structure (37.1), there are 'official' limits (stupid, bureaucratic but still).
Wait for some process, for some change to occur (53).
Try to look at this from another point of view (20).
Accept the obstruction in your way (12).
Then you will give up the thought altogether and find peace, or something will happen to change the situation.

h45 Richmond:
The great sacrifice here is separateness, the ownership of a part of reality as "me", or on a smaller scale the ownership of reality by a facet of me, some desire syndrome in me. Good fortune comes from movement from our present position,which is sacrificing what we are.


Hmm, maybe using Yi to get a yes or no answer is impossible.
"So, Bob, you ready to tear down that fence?"
"Yeah, Chuck, the plastic explosives are all wired up!"

Yi will give you much more information in return, it just can't do less.
 

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