Life long relation

[plupp]

Hello, I am new to this forum but I have talked to the I Ching for many years. I have not always understood its answers but it is always an interesting partner to talk to and a helpful one. I have a "theme" that has been following me through out the years, ever since I met N I have been puzzled by the feelings and strong connection I have with him. We do not have any relationship any longer (it ended 2000) but he is still in my mind and heart and we have occasional contact. My reason says that I am crazy thinking that we could ever have a relationship again, however my gut feeling (and I Ching) tells me that it could very well be possible with time. Today I asked The I Ching to show me a clear picture of what kind of relationship there is between n & me and I got 54 without moving lines (not the first time). To me it means that this is a relationship I have no influence over, it's driven by passion and its living its own life but that in the future I could be the Marrying Maiden. What is your opinion? Many thanks.

 

[plupp]

any ideas???

Please! Anyone who can help me shred some light over this issue is more than welcome! And/or to take me out from the illusion (if illusion there is) that there is still a possibility that there could be a relationship between n & me. Thanks.

 

[Sparhawk]

Welcome!

I would say the name of the hexagram is a mirage for unsuspecting readers looking for solacement... But, I'm sure others will be more extensive in their explanations.

 

[plupp]

thanks a lot sparhawk!

you mean the I Ching is trying to give me "fake" comfort in a hopeless situation? Could be, but why is the I Ching giving me a mirage? If only I could settle with the fact that it is definitely finished with n I could maybe find a real relationship. I would like the I Ching to tell me in a clear way but I agree, not easy, if I asking the same question in different ways for years and years...

Any other ideas?

 

[Sparhawk]

thanks a lot sparhawk!

you mean the I Ching is trying to give me "fake" comfort in a hopeless situation? Could be, but why is the I Ching giving me a mirage? If only I could settle with the fact that it is definitely finished with n I could maybe find a real relationship. I would like the I Ching to tell me in a clear way but I agree, not easy, if I asking the same question in different ways for years and years...

Any other ideas?

No, what I'm saying is that the translation of the Chinese name of the hexagram can be misleading in a situation like yours. The Yi is not presenting you a mirage; the mirage is always in the eyes and mind of the observer. Don't hang on the name/translation of the hexagram, but look deeper into the real meaning of the hexagram and the context of your situation. I believe that deep inside you know the answer to your plight but, perhaps, there is some denial in it.

Mind you, I'm stepping out of character here as I almost never post in this section of the site...

 

[willowfox]

Today I asked The I Ching to show me a clear picture of what kind of relationship there is between n & me and I got 54

Obviously, he does not really see you as anyone of particular note, this is about him seeing you as subordinate to him, not even on level terms in the friendship department, you may have lots of feelings for him but he certainly does not share those feelings at all, this shows a coldness emanating from him. This shows no reconciliation on your cards.

 

[plupp]

thank you both for your answers, they are both accurate I am afraid...:bows:
Yes, there is probabely some denial here and I will have to accept facts and move forward.

 

[mudpie]

"the marrying maiden" as a title can be misleading, as Luis said. the hex itself is more about unfortunate liaisons, where one is at a decided disadvantage. a large part of the theme is about settling for something that is not really fulfilling....with the worst case scenario being that one simply goes thru the motions without any substance at all behind the actions.

If perhaps, you do happen to be seeking a relationship that is fulfilling, getting this hexagram repeatedly about this guy might be the Yi's way of telling you not to "settle" for a dream, or at worst, an illusion. sometimes not getting the one you think you want is a great blessing in disguise.

 

[Leracy]

Have a look at Hilary's analysis of 54 - it could help you a lot I think.

www.onlineclarity.co.uk/learn/gua/hexagrams/hexagram54.php

 

[plupp]

37 with moving lines 1, 2, 3

Thank you all again for your valuable input. I read Hilary's text and it also seems accurate.
I must admit that I am quite discouraged by everything that is in relation to my relationship area. I have never had a relationship that worked out and never had a relationship longer than 6 months and all very painful and difficult ones. Poor me! Of course, it's mainly a problem I have with ME, however I've been doing a great deal of inner work for many, many years. So as I tried to gain some hope and asked the I Ching this morning: What can I do in order to find a fulfilling love relationship? and I got hexagram 37 with moving lines 1, 2, 3 to me it looks quite positive but what exactly is the I Ching telling me?

Thanks for your help in a somewhat hopeless situation...

 

[willowfox]

What can I do in order to find a fulfilling love relationship? and I got hexagram 37 with moving lines 1, 2, 3

You have to be committed to the person, show that they are wanted, do your duties like a responsible person and not worry about things that you do not have just be satisfied with what you do have. Lastly, do not be over controlling.

 

[plupp]

Willowfox, I am impressed by the accuracy of your interpretations! What you just wrote me is exactly what I am not doing in my relationships...because I never seem to meet the person who is right for me and I never feel any attraction, hence I don't show them that they are wanted. I have just met a guy that I am internet dating but wanted to put an end because I am worrying about what this guy doesn't have and I can't say I am attracted to him + he is not living in my city and is extremely busy + he is a Taurus and I am an Aquarius and that is not a good combination. We wet twice and last week he asked me out for dinner for the first time and made me pay half the bill + announced that he just accepted a professor ship in another country! Doesn't seem to promising to me as a relationship… I asked the I Ching about him and didn't get what I thought was a positive answer but will ask again about us.

 

[willowfox]

No need to do a reading about this professor guy, get rid of him.

 

[plupp]

I am relieved! At last something going in the same direction as my gut feeling tells me = to get rid of him! However, I am puzzled by the fact that only wrong guys are crossing my road...almost scary

 

[willowfox]

However, I am puzzled by the fact that only wrong guys are crossing my road...almost scary

Unfortunately, relationships are like a lottery, you just don't know what you are going to get until you win the prize.

You can see on this forum alone how many people end up with the wrong person, very sad. So, all you can really do is to keep trying but if you can't find anyone that fits the bill, then learn to enjoy your own company and certainly get some pets. Think, some relationships are very good, some are so-so, and the rest are just plain nightmares, so take it easy.

 

[plupp]

I agree. And I do have a horse I love and he has made my life so much better and I am definitely much less desperate since he came into my life, I also have a cat and it helps.
However, a good love relationship would be very nice to experience before I leave this life on earth. Is there a question I can ask the I Ching that would help me? I guess that to ask if I will ever find a good love relationship might be a stupid question? No one can answer that I guess? I will take it easy. Many thanks for your help.

 

[mudpie]

Plupp, I would first try to dissolve that attitude that it is "hopeless," and your reading about how to find a relationship is interesting. 37 is about family, home, hearth. You mentioned using the internet and that is something you do from the home. I would advise to keep that fire burning,

dont be worried about the "wrong guys" coming along, just experiment and use the experiences to help you decide the kind of person you would like to let in. Be particular, but don't be afraid to meet and greet online. From the safety of your home, you can actually be quite discerning about who you would eventually meet in person.

The 37 changes to 59, so from home, remain focused on your intention( the kind of man you want) and then break the ice, ride the waves that come.

 

[plupp]

Plupp, I would first try to dissolve that attitude that it is "hopeless," and your reading about how to find a relationship is interesting. 37 is about family, home, hearth. You mentioned using the internet and that is something you do from the home. I would advise to keep that fire burning,

dont be worried about the "wrong guys" coming along, just experiment and use the experiences to help you decide the kind of person you would like to let in. Be particular, but don't be afraid to meet and greet online. From the safety of your home, you can actually be quite discerning about who you would eventually meet in person.

The 37 changes to 59, so from home, remain focused on your intention( the kind of man you want) and then break the ice, ride the waves that come.

Thanks Listener for a very hopeful interpretation of the situation, it made me happy! I do need encouragement because I have problems with this "hopeless attitude" when it comes to relationships, all other areas in my life are ok, some more than ok. I have ever since I can remember always thought and felt that I will never meet someone special and at the same time I have never wanted something more than just that. Thanks also for encouraging me to continue to keep an internet door open, I will definitely keep that fire burning now

It is amazing how good many of you are to interpret the I Ching, myself I find it very difficult to grasp the meaning behind the words, so thank you all and thank you Listener:bows:

 

[mudpie]

you are welcome, all the best to you:bows:

 

[plupp]

17 to 47 - feeling of hopelessness again...

Dear All, dear Listener,
This morning I asked I Ching (and I was in a very good mood): Is Internet a good way for me to find a fulfilling relationship? and I got 17 with moving lines 1 & 2. I am using "Symbols of Love - I Ching for Lovers, Friends and Relationships" by Karcher.
Full of hope by the answer 17 I started to read, in the beginning very good...until I came to line 2: "Tied to the small son, You let the Respectable Husband go.
This relationship is a mistake. You have picked up the wrong person to follow. You will end up alone, without anyone to trust. All you can do is to adapt to whatever crosses your path. Direction: Be cheerful. Express yourself. Find supportive friends. Gather energy for a decisive move." What a horrible answer! And worse is to come: hexagram 47. What shall I understand from this? That I will end up alone? My day is ruined (I know the I Ching is also telling me to "be cheerful"). So, after all, is the internet a good way for me or not? I do not understand the I Ching, it seems that all doors are closed to me but despite of this I must be cheerful! Maybe the best thing for me is to stop asking I Ching...? Or always have others to make the interpretation as I always seem to get it wrong.

 

[mudpie]

Dear Plupp...i think the reading is very encouraging, just the opposite.

17 is an affirmative for going after what you seek, line 1 is to mingle and get to know people......line 2 could refer to the guy you just met, professor cheapo, let him go and meet someone more to your liking

47 is about self--inspired gloom, it is a hexgram that often seems to say "get over yourself" .....it is the "oh no, it's awful, oh no, it's hopeless" LOL. so the yi is saying, c'mon, get over yourself, take some action, follow...........

and yes, i would lay off the questions about relationship now until you get one brewing, otherw ise you will exhaust yourself! keep your heart steady and keep being gentle with yourself.

 

[plupp]

Dear Plupp...i think the reading is very encouraging, just the opposite.

17 is an affirmative for going after what you seek, line 1 is to mingle and get to know people......line 2 could refer to the guy you just met, professor cheapo, let him go and meet someone more to your liking

47 is about self--inspired gloom, it is a hexgram that often seems to say "get over yourself" .....it is the "oh no, it's awful, oh no, it's hopeless" LOL. so the yi is saying, c'mon, get over yourself, take some action, follow...........

and yes, i would lay off the questions about relationship now until you get one brewing, otherw ise you will exhaust yourself! keep your heart steady and keep being gentle with yourself.

I am already in a better mood. And will try to keep my heart steady and avoid relationship questions until I get one brewing (I like your expressions).
Thanks a lot