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Long-standing neighbor problem

flashlight

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Hi all,

Since this chap moved in next door five years ago, I've been living in nearly 24/7 techno hell. Because of the topography of the land, where his speakers and windows are, and how long waves travel, I'm the only one who suffers from his constant explosive racket, day and night, even in winter with all windows closed. It even reverberates in my mattress....Friends don't come spend the weekend anymore because what's the point of going to the country for R&R if you can't sleep at night or enjoy the outdoors peacefully during the day.

I've talked to him, called him (he never picks up), and wrote him a letter (copy to the mayor, who'se done squat). To no avail.

As long as I wasn't here full time, I didn't dare file an official complaint with the powers that be, which would instigate court proceedings most likely. I was afraid (legitimately -- he hangs out with an odd bunch every weekend) of retribution against my property or even myself. Now that I am here full time permanently, there is no way I can live with this. It is affecting my health, my sanity and his liberty ends where mine begins.

I asked the Yi "what would happen if I filed an official complaint?" and got 47 UC. Needless to say, I have already been living in 47 UC for years (with my head split open with 3600 beats per hour or more). No other neighbor suffers sufficiently to join in my complaint. I do have testimonials from people who have come to my house and can attest to the racket. But 47 UC seems to tell me the situation is hopeless, I am alone in this and have to bear it. Paired with 48, my home IS my well -- my environment has always been the most important factor in my health, happiness & well-being.

Wing says: "TUI, pleasure, in the upper trigram of cosmic ideals, is moving up and out of reach of K'AN, difficulty, in the lower trigram of human affairs. When no changing lines are received, the implication is that, in regard to your inquiry, you are oppressed to the point of exhaustion. Continued ADVERSITY is increasingly disheartening. Nothing that you can say will make a difference. There is little you can do to significantly alter the situation. Only your inner strength can help you endure. Only you can know whether its worth it. "

I AM oppressed to the point of exhaustion. I CANNOT endure. Is there no way out of this?

Peace & silence,

Flashlight
 

mulberry

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Wow. This sounds horrible. I, too, dealt with an awful neighbor situation (long story—involves pest infestations and threatened violence) and our only recourse, ultimately, was to move. We did. It just wasn't tenable to stay there. It was an extremely hard decision, though. We found somewhere more suitable (got lucky) and now it seems like "Of course the right decision was to move!" but at the time it was much more fraught and unclear.

Have you done any readings on moving? Sometimes 47 for me has pointed to situations where the oppression was of my own making, that I was being too pessimistic—but this sounds different. Something about filing an official complaint seems like it would box you in further. I'm really sorry about this!
 

flashlight

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Thanks for responding, Mulberry. I kind of chuckled at reading you :)
In fact, I lived in two places far apart, splitting my time for years between a dumpy small flat and my house in the country. I have just, this past week, let go of the dumpy flat and consolidated full time in the country, where I am trying to fit my "stuff" into an already full to the brim house. The cat is having a grand time, my old dog (deaf and partly blind) keeps getting lost in the middle of boxes for which there is no space and I'm coping living in cluttered chaos for the time being, continuing to sort and pitch belongings. Moving is never fun or relaxing, this one was the Cadillac of tough moves. When I move out of here, I'll be in a pine box and it won't be my problem. There is no way in heck I'll move to solve the neighbor problem - I adore my house and land, do not and will not have the strength to go through this again (in spades), besides, there is no guarantee a new place would not have its serious drawbacks.

I don't know if this is "proper" or if the reading is reliable, but I asked Yi the same question just now and the answer this time was 8.5 to 2. Goddessliss' thread on her relations with her neighbors (https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?19710-Hex-8-5-gt-2) rather fits my overall situation in this small, rural, everyone-is-related-to-everyone but me situation where after nearly 15 years, I'm still considered the outsider. Doesn't bother me much, I do my stuff, remember that what's important is to be me, but I can't really see how the reading responds to my question.

Perhaps there are other ways to approach the question and get better insight as to effective options? Short of cutting his electricity access.....
 

rosada

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Since filing a complaint doesn't sound productive maybe ask, "Well then, what should I do to improve the situation?"
 

flashlight

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Hi Rosada,
I had, yesterday, asked a variant of that question (How do I get X to stop his techno blast?) and received 24.1 to 2, which left me scratching my head.
- return to talk to him? Rather pointless, past efforts haven't accomplished anything and frankly, he and his bunch are kind of scary to me.
- it also describes nearly 15 years of my life pattern -- going back up to the city and returning here to home base (now I am here permanently).
Or can it relate to him? He's been squatting the house and turning into a dump for 5 years since his dad died, but as i understand it, he's not the sole heir. While others' claims on the property is a comforting thought, I know from personal experience how many decades such situations can take to resolve here.

Out of curiosity, I just this instant (3:53 PM july 18) asked Yi "If you were me, how would you go about solving this problem and getting silence?" Clearly, Yi doesn't know my neighbor - replied 31 UC. There is no influencing him; even the mayor coming over several times because of his multiple pals' cars parked on the road (the mayor's pet peeve) has had the impact of a pea shooter. Every weekend the narrow road is a parking lot.
:duh:
 

rosada

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How do I get X to stop his techno blast?
24.1 - 2: The idea of getting him to stop isn't going anywhere.

Yi, if you were me how would you go about solving this problem and getting silence?
31: Just accept it.

auggh!
 

rosada

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2.2.5 seems to repeat this same theme.
2.2 It is what it is.
2.5 Let it inspire you?
Maybe you're supposed to become a fan of hard rock?

Thinking about 31 as a response to solving the problem and getting silence by just accepting it reminds me of the answer the landlord gave the prospective tenant when he asked how often the trains came by, "So often you'll never hear them."

sign.
 

flashlight

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Clearly, techno did not exist in the age of the Yi.
Any music (and I am a music buff) that is full blast and full bass 24 hours a day for days on end is going to be a problem. But techno is a whole n'other kettle of fish. It's particularly damaging to one's health, there are enough studies about that. Heck, it's even managed to make birds that had been nesting here for years leave! Even in winter with all windows closed, it reverberates throughout the house, in my mattress, the cat goes nuts...In summer? I live in a rave party, I cannot even enjoy being outside during the day.
No, there is no accepting the unacceptable.
Sorry, the mere thought makes me angry.
 

rosada

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So how to work with these answers?
Supposedly we can't change anything until we first accept it as it is - "What we resist, persists!" - so maybe you are being advised to accept the situation not because you just need to resign yourself to living with this eternally but rather because acceptance is the first step to change.

Maybe ask, "HOW can I accept this?" or "What will happen if I accept this?"

Meanwhile, placing mirrors aimed at the neighbor is a feng shui technique for returning his energy back to him. It's said to be very effective in getting unpleasant neighbors to change, move or...die.
 

flashlight

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That's the rub, Rosada, I accepted it for over 4 years, convinced this couldn't go on, that he'd even get sick of it, that he'd come around and take care of the property (a real fire hazard, esp when he bbq's on the ground surrounded by tall dry weeds..), get a job, do SOMETHING other than drink, get stoned and listen to techno. I'd drive back up to the city on Sundays after 3 days of no sleep, the techno still going strong as I'd leave at 8AM, in no shape to hit the road safely.
I figured the mayor, who can be a real stickler and who lives in the same hamlet, would at least do something about the property being a toxic dump. Last year, finally, when friends weren't able to sleep the entire weekend, I spoke to him nicely. He said call me when it gets to be too much. So I did so, he never picks up, and if he listens to his messages, it does nothing. Wrote him a formal letter in January, copy to the mayor. Nada.
Acceptance hasn't changed squat.
As to the mirrors, interesting thought...His house is over 150 meters from mine, and set back from the mutual land "border". How I could set up mirror (and they'd have to be BIG ones) I have to put a think on...
 

rosada

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The mirrors don't have to be so very big. Just average sized. You hang it on the wall on the outside of your house with the mirror facing his house or inside your house with the mirror side facing his house even if that means the back of the mirror is what's visible in your house.
 

flashlight

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Ah! Ok, I'll try that. Neighbors will find me odd (already do since I'm the "forever-foreign" one) but if it helps, wonderful! Thank you, Rosada.
 

RindaR

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What if one were to accept that the sounds vibrations are going to be there, and then look for ways to deal with them? Noise cancelling headphones might give you some temporary relief? Building a wall of stone or adobe to dampen the vibrations? Sound deadening materials on the walls that face the neighbor's property? A parabolic reflector that would catch, concentrate and reflect the vibrations? ( Only half kidding - horrible situation!!!)
 

flashlight

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Hi Rinda,
I have meter-thick stone walls....against which the techno long waves come crashing.
Using noise cancelling headphones (I've tried) does nothing for the vibrations that can be felt in the house (to the point sometimes picture frames end up crooked...) and particularly through my mattress.
HE is the one who should be using headphones or soundproofing his house!
 

Trojina

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I have suffered with this. Years ago someone moved in next door who played this techno/rave whatever it's called with the boom boom boom of the bass which is impossible to live with without going mad.


For me the worse thing was the unpredictability of it. For example if he had said to me he was going to make this racket each day between the hours of 1 and 4 or even 7 and 10 I could have coped because I'd know there was an end to it and could even plan to go out etc. But this guy would start up at any time, 3am 6am 2pm...it's a form of torture.


I went round several times to complain in a wheedling negotiating kind of a way and it got me nowhere. I was a female living alone, he was in there with a laod of drunk/drugged ravers, like you I was cautious of reprisals etc. He told me the landlord said he would soundproof the flat but hadn't :rolleyes: Later I learned another neighbour had threatened to put a brick through his window. Mercifully he left in the middle of the night one night without paying his rent.


There's no moral to this tale I just sympathize. FWIW there is something very wrong with people who do this IMO. For example my guy, well I could tell he wasn't going to last long anywhere. He was clearly on some kind of frantic escapist trip, his whole life was really a way of doing this :lalala: these people clearly can't even bear to think they have to drown it out.


That makes no difference to how it affects others though I don't think they tend to last too long where they are. That is in the cases I've seen it does come to an end though sadly for you this has been going on for 5 years.


In the UK noise pollution is now taken quite seriously and you can complain to the local council who will come and measure noise levels. They do at times actually remove people's equipment. However if you aren't in the UK then I don't know. If you are in UK ring the local council and get through to environmental health which is the department to deal with this I think.

I asked the Yi "what would happen if I filed an official complaint?" and got 47 UC.


Well my sense of this is Yi is counselling you to not to give up through a sense of hopelessness. This is actually a test of one's spirit. It doesn't counsel you to give up, it acknowledges how very hard this is and the sense of not being heard, and having not been heard before how hard it is to find the will to go on but the Image says from Hilary's book


'Lake without water: Confined.
A noble flashlight carries out the mandate, fulfils her aspiration.'



So it isn't time to give up but time to have a strong inner conviction and intent to deal with this.


47uc also says that words aren't believed so trying to reason with him hasn't worked as you have found, in fact you haven't been heard at all. That doesn't mean give up it means growing stronger and stronger inside, continuing on with the intent to stop this . You can't give up because you can't live with it.


If you have explored all options then filing an official complaint looks like the only way


As Wilhelm says in his Image


'There is no water in the lake:
The image of EXHAUSTION.
This the superior flashlight stakes her life
On following her will.'


I see 47uc here as advice for what one has to do, on an inner level, when faced with hardship, restriction and imprisonment. What you experience is a kind of imprisonment thus you stake your will on survival when you refuse to be beaten down or made hopeless even when everything appears to conspire against you.








At the moment there's a drummer/band something punk like that practises very loudly nearby and they only get away with it I think because they do it between certain hours 3-6 something like that. Likewise I think those living next to people practising rehearsing musical instruments make arrangements that it's only between certain hours. If this guy would even consent to restricting the noise between set hours it would help but it sounds like he's never going to do that unfortunately.



I hope you get some back up because 47 is a lonely place to deal with hardship yet at this time it's where you are...so don't give up.
 

rosada

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One thing about 47uc, although it doesn't promise great success in response to your question, "What would happen if I filed a complaint?" it doesn't describe disaster either. More like it's just describing you doing what you have to do. Also, the word "mandate" is sometimes tricky to make sense of. I look at it as meaning law or contract. So here "carrying out the mandate" could mean you following the proper legal procedure. Thus, "What would happen if you filed a complaint?" Answer: You would be preforming the proper legal procedure.
Maybe you should ask, "What will the authorities do if I file a complaint?" or "What will the neighbor do if I file a complaint?"
 

flashlight

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Thank you for the support and understanding, Ladies :) Yup, Trojina, you've lived what I'm talking about. It DOES drive one mad :) Here too, we have (on paper) strong laws against noise pollution and to protect the tranquility, day or night, of others. However, my personal experience with the legal system here is lousy: not only do cases take f o r e v e r, but I've been in situations where the law was fully on my side and the outcome was not in my favor. Thus for me it is truly a last resort, because it is such a crap shoot. The mayor, however, should be dealing with this. Mayors have police authority and are supposed to ensure laws, security, tranquility are respected. Moreover, this chap's property is a dump (literally) and again the mayor has the obligation to force him to take care of his property (or have it done and bill him) and to sanction the environmental hazards some of the stuff left on his property poses. The mayor does nothing (in fact, I could file a complaint against the mayor for failing to uphold his obligations.. but that's a no win situation).
I'm not terribly awake and perhaps this was not the right time to ask, but I posed your questions Rosada.
What would X do if I filed a formal official complaint? 33.1.4.5.6 to 36 I do not believe for a second this fellow would retreat and hole up all of a sudden. He's too loco for that. Also, he is not a tenant, is not about to move and he hasn't changed complied with the mayor's formal letters about parking etc.

What would the authorities do if I filed a formal complaint? 60.5 to 19. That's sounds a bit more hopeful,but underscores it will take time and continuous efforts will be required.

Ironically, this past week,dear neighbor has been quiet -- he has been away apparently, for the first time ever, and it has been blissful. Of course, right when the registered letter was ready to go out and sending it when he is exceptionally quiet would not be good timing! I know, though, it is only a temporary hiatus...
 

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