Lost my best friend and possibley made a big booboo :( damn it, damn it, damn it!

[angels_goldenrose]

Thanks bamboo & something new.

I learned something new- The police had warned him to stay away from me & not to contact me. This is worrying that the police said this. so bamboo your interpretation was spot on- especially as to 24.4.6

The whole scenario was a bit confusing to read and follow. Originally, you seemed to feel you made a mistake by telling him that if he wasnt going to respond to our texts, etc, then you were going to forget about it. I dont think that was a mistake at all, fwiw. You did try, and you were not overdoing it, but he failed to respond.

Yes, this is correct. You understood correctly. I also agree with you, I did try my best, yes, I know this guy very well, he likes his space, if he's not communicating this is usually the reason, also the new reason I learned above. He's the type that gets pressured easily and retreats, doesn't like to be harrassed etc. This is what made me cautious I didn't want to get into trouble for pestering him, after all when someone doesn't reply it usually means they don't wish to speak, so I respected this. This is also another reason I gave him space imbetween contacting him.

I was completely confused when Wf said you waited too long, or were willful or stubborn. I didnt see anywhere that you said you waited five months! It said you tried, intermittently, for five months to contact him, to no avail. So I think WF misinterpreted the post.

haha yes me too, thats what sent me into state of upset and confusion! I am neither, I have bent over backwards, tried my best to respect him and this situation. I did try intermittently. I didn't want to harass him. I couldn't see how pursuing would help further, apart from beating my head against a brick wall. I would have liked to have done more, plus I didn't know how he felt, sometimes its better to err on the side of caution.

I dont think you made mistakes. You were not saying that your original action ( calling police ) was a mistake, but imo, that didnt seem a mistake either. You were fearful. Perhaps he truly was being irrational.

Yes, this is true. I had a good reason, not wanting to go further about it on here.

The whole situation is a huge mess. I think my efforts were like trying to clean up a bomb site with a toothbrush to be honest.

But to get back to your readings, I never felt they indicated anything about making a mistake in waiting too long. Your 24.4.6 reading seemed to me to indicate exactly what was going on....you were attempting to make a return/reconciliation , but you were coming back alone (no response) and perhaps trying to reconcile a relationship that , for now, had reached the point of no return. It didnt have to be anyone's fault, it just wasnt an energy that could be reactivated ( at the time).

This makes better sense, yes. i was looking at the line, it makes more sense to say I missed the return because I was getting no response. If you read what i just discovered about the polices warning to him- it makes perfect sense! :bows:

Thanks everyone for your help on this its a very complicated situation or at least it was

 

[angels_goldenrose]

Hmmmm...

Did I take the correct/best approach in my dealing with him?
54.2.3-55
- I found this! On an old thread. This describes exactly how I feel/felt in this situation right down to the letter and about my approach in this situation! This is bizarrely accurate!! It made my heart centre open and I wanted to cry when I read it. Is this saying I’ve compromised myself?

Mirian. I am quoting this interpretation from the book "The wisdom of the I Ching" (Eyler Coates, Sr), which relates the hexagrams to work & business.

54.2 - "A man feels he has fallen out of favour. Whereas he had hopes of a productive relationship with the head man, the head man seems to ignore him and leaves him to his own devices. He accepts his situation and resolves to accomplish as much as he can, regardless of the apparent neglect. He remains steady, even though there is no assurance that his situation will improve."

54.3 "A man is in a position of little status, and yearns for something better. He is unable to move ahead through the ordinary competitive channels, however, and chooses to make headway in a way that is not flattering to his reputation, even though it is not exactly illegal or wrong. Thus, there is a trade-off: he gains some of the advantages that he so eagerly seeks, but he is not thought highly of because of what he must do to win these gains. It is a real choice with real consequences."

What is the best way to see this situation now?
59.1-- using a strong horse for rescue changing into inner truth. Strength brings good fortune. I feel as if my family and friends have been this horse, so maybe seeing that I’m supported and also I didn’t realise how strong I am within in dealing with all this.

Can it be repaired?
46.4.5--28. Hmmm advancing step by step leading to excess pressure or too much. I think maybe this is saying that it can, but the resulting hexagram worries me, could trying to repair it bring things further out of balance?

Would it be best to persevere or let go?
43.2-49 ------shows its subject full of apprehension and appealing (for sympathy and help). Late at night hostile measures may be (taken against him).

Or. A cry of alarm. At evening and night there is battling without mercy.

The line talks about me full of apprehension and worry (very true) it also talks about me appealing for help and sympathy (which I’ve done, to him and my friends/family)This clearly telling me not to worry.

What can I do to repair the situation?
45.1.6---25 gathering together without pretence. I think this is saying possibley to approach him again. It talks about reaching out- then tears. Not too sure what this means.

i feel well out of my depths in trying to sort this one.

 

[angels_goldenrose]

Conclusion to the thread and thanks

Hi guys, I think the problem is I just don't trust him, things were fine at first then his behaviour started to change just before the incident and the main reason i'm holding back. I can think of all kind of justifications for his behaviour yet that little warning bell is going off. My own good sense is telling to let go.

My intuition is kicking in I think I need to listen to it. What also worried me as that the police didn't like this guy very much. Perhaps he was not what he seemed. It scares me that there was a side he kept hidden that I never saw and it clearly came out that night. I asked if he had previous convictions they couldn't tell me but they said he was "no angel".

I believe this is how I've compromised myself, I've not listened to my intuition. I've made my clear choice.

Thanks everyone for your help and effort, it is greatly appreciated! x

 

[hilary]

Willowfox, I don't need to delete what you wrote, as Trish (hi, Trish ) has already sensibly opted not to see your posts. I've responded on your 'farewell' thread. The only thing I would add here is that if you find yourself passing judgement on someone on a personal level, you should not be interpreting readings for them. Walk away.

 

[angels_goldenrose]

Update!!! HAPPY NEWS!!

Happy news everyone! I sorted myself out, did lots of meditation to clear this fear I've been hanging onto! It wasn't my intuition but fear. Once I relaxed, let go, I could disinguish how I truely felt! I've had lots of help from those lovely angels and guides and finally was able to contact him!! I will write another update soon once its all sorted

I just wanted to say thanks for allowing me to voice my fears etc and explore all the different emotions I was feeling! Its been very good therapy!!

A new journey begins now Thanks for your insights!!!

 

[angels_goldenrose]

Update- together again....

Hi everyone,
I am in two minds as to whether i'm staying in the forum at the moment, but I thought I should let everyone know whats happened.

My friend did in fact love and trust me, when he gave me his number I wrote it down wrong, a wrong digit. So I couldn't get through. It was a complex situation. The texts I sent went off into space. I also had a back injury and damaged my disks so I cannot drive my car, so going around his home is difficult, so we will be communicating by phone I thought he had ignored me and he thought I had ignored him. So we have been parted these last nearly 6 months. So the situation was neither fault, what I did learn from this experience was it was one of those situations which was very hard to read- especially being in the middle of it. However this was a good experience as was able to let go of any fear I was hanging on to with regards to the past! So all in all a good situation despite how it seemed. The tale ends happily. My heart is at peace now.

I just thought I'd let everyone know. I'm not feeling particulary comfortable with whats happening in the forum at present so I prefere just to keep my distance to protect my own peace of mind.

 

[hilary]

Thank you very much for the update! (And I'm really glad it's good news.)

 

[bamboo]

It is interesting though that WF was the one who suggested he might not have gotten the texts!! and also she had said that you hadnt been persistent enough in your attempts to reach him .go see him (which would have revealed the mistaken phone number in the long run)! lol.

It wasnt stubbornness or unwillingness to try, it was understandable that you were hesitant....but the 24.6 was shouting something that we only now understand in retrospect!

 

[freemymind]

I am going to miss Willowfox and Willowfox's interpretations,its too bad.

 

[mazaru]

I'm gonna miss her too. I hope things will get sorted out.

 

[hilary]

Hopefully things will, after the 'cooling off' period. (Let's not fill this thread with talk about this, though. Drop me a private message if you feel strongly about how I'm running things, or use one of the Open Space threads WF started if you'd like to post supportive messages for her to see.)

 

[JoeCampbell]

Thanks for this reply Willowfox - I got the same answer to a question today and there are parallels with the situation - your response fits the situation perfectly.