Love! 22-37

[unusual_noises]

Hey there,
This is my first post. I have been using online I ching things for a few weeks but I read the introduction thing today and have asked two questions using the three coin method.

I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man (I am also a man btw!) who is fourteen years older than me (I am 22 and he is 36). We met at the beginning of the year and while we have had one or two disagreements, I genuinely feel we are meant for each other and am hoping we will be together for a long time. He is from South America and went home two months ago. He has applied for a PhD at my university here in Australia and while he was assured by his professors of getting in we are still waiting for the final acceptance letter (which should come any day now).

He is 36 years old but this is his first relationship (and mine too) and while it took both of us a long time to really let ourselves get closer, I feel I am at the stage of wanting more intimacy (even if only over the phone etc) and he still is having doubts. I am not really sure, he says he loves me and wants to be with me but I can sense a distance between us that wasn't there before and I am worried I may have scared him off with 'heavy' talk since he has left... I do feel that he loves me and that we are in love but I also feel that so many years without a relationship or intimacy for him may be making it really hard for him to open up and allow himself to fall in love. I too have my fears of opening myself but I feel like we were running side by side for a while and I have sped ahead and am wanting him to catch up.

Just writing all this down has made me think that maybe the question I asked wasnt the right one but here it is anyway... I asked what I could do so that he and I could deeply and passionately in love with each other. Not in a manipulative way, I dont want to force it or anything, but I thought that maybe I could get some insight into how to overcome the obstacles we face. And it's true, I want a life full of passionate love and I want it with him!

I got hexagram 22.5 - 37.

I didn't really know how to interpret it, I have been using the 'Akira Rabelais' webpage for my readings but I don't know if this is really a good one to use.

For the fifth line of 22 it says:

A man withdraws from contact with people of the lowlands, who seek
nothing but magnificence and luxury, in to the solitude of the heights. There
he finds an individual to look up to, whom he would like to have as a friend.
But the gifts he has to offer are poor and few, so that he feels ashamed.
However, it is not the material gifts that count, but sincerity of feeling, and so
all goes well in the end.

I have been in the process over the past 6 years or so of minimising my contact with an extremely shallow and superficial base of people. This guy that I am with, while he does like a few luxuries, he doesn't place value on material wealth like the people I used to mix with did. I think this is one of the main reasons I like him, he wants to make a contribution.

Because of the age difference and his intelligence, I sometimes feel inferior to him in terms of my 'cultural capital' if you will. I thought that this last part might be in reference to that but I don't really know how to interpret the relating hexagram (37-The Family) or the primary hexagram as a whole(22-Grace).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Karl

 

[hollis]

Hi

Hi Karl,

Maybe you two look good together?

This is the very beginning of your relationship, but both readings seem positive, which is a good news. Your associations with the line make sense.

This line, 5, of 22, promises a good result, the gift is humble but sincere.

Hexagram 22 deals with the externals of something, and 37 is about groups of people who are family, in some way.

It seems to be a light reading, nothing really heavy or ominous, so perhaps it is a case of taking one step at a time and not loading on too many expectations or wishes/dreams at this point?

Maybe keep it simple, humble, even if you would like to give more? Don't gild the lily?

Hollis

 

[willowfox]

It is about being true and sincere. In the relationship there is a need for cooperation, consideration, respect and love.

 

[magictortoise]

The roll of silk is something valuable...something you value in the relationship...passion and love. It is meager now but there is a hope for the future, a bright prospect. The appended judgment in Wilhelm reads: The good fortune of the sixth in the fifth place has joy. You might read the commentary on that text in the back of the book, p.499. It goes into the relationship of that line to the second and sixth lines.

Best regards,
Ken