Love or.....? 13.5>30

[becalm]

I have been seeing this man and everything was going fine (very much a heart connection) and all of a sudden he started to create a drama that led to him to finish the relationship in one split second. I honestly have no idea what happened.
He very much wanted me to be part of his life, offering me a place to live, telling his friends and family about us, talking about building a home together, etc. Personally I haven't been in a relationship for years. I've dated a few guys over the last 10 years but nothing worked out nor in my heart, once I was honest with myself, did I really have feeling for these guys.....but this time I kind of went this is going to work out I've no doubt. But obviously not!!

What do I need to know about my relationship with him Hexagram 13.5>30

This looks like a 'storm in a teacup' as the saying goes and we're still very connected in our hearts and that we will sort things out and come back together.

How can I progress my relationship with him
Hexagram 29.5.6>4 - Yes Hex 4 I guess it's a Immature relationship because it's new and I have to say sometimes his stubbornness comes across as childishness.
Line 5 - We've found a way to overcome obstacles (well I thought we had)
Line 6 - His stubbornness will stop things from progressing

 

[Trojina]

is it this guy ?

I like to follow the plot

 

[becalm]

is it this guy ?

I like to follow the plot

Hahaha no I'd forgotten all about him. Here's the plot Trojina, just for you......things weren't falling into place for me work wise or a place to live permanently so I decided to travel further down the coast just for some R and R.
A man had messaged me on online dating maybe 10 days ago or something and I didn't respond then I saw he actually lived in the town I was taking my R and R in and thought what the heck can't hurt to have a coffee with the guy.
We had the coffee last Saturday and we've been together since. It was intense but not overwhelming, very much mature kind of relations, you know seeing where we differ and finding resolution etc.
Our differences compliment each other but we're also very much the same. Last night he just got upset about something didn't tell me went to bed woke up this morning and did a 100% about face on us. I honestly have no idea what happened.

 

[Trojina]

Hang on

A man had messaged me on online dating maybe 10 days ago or something and I didn't respond then I saw he actually lived in the town I was taking my R and R in and thought what the heck can't hurt to have a coffee with the guy.
We had the coffee last Saturday and we've been together since. It was intense but not overwhelming, very much mature kind of relations, you know seeing where we differ and finding resolution etc.

He very much wanted me to be part of his life, offering me a place to live, telling his friends and family about us, talking about building a home together, etc

He wanted all that, to build a home together after 10 days !??? That's not sane or mature surely ?


13.5 bodes very well for reconciliation but he sounds a bit out of touch with reality to me

 

[becalm]

This is true he was a bit over the top Re those dreams but he’s about to build a house so I just took it as he’d like me to be part of his dream.

 

[Liselle]

Didn't you have a reading about this vacation trip?

...yes, this one, about honoring the uninvited guests, 5.3.6 to 61

More challenges 5.3.6>61

Naturally even though it felt right to come here I’m faced with more challenges and am very very stuck. What is the best way to deal with my present challenges Hex 5.3.6>61 Line 3 - yes I am very stuck and cannot see a way out at this point. No matter what I try to do I get nowhere fast. Line 6...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Now your question wasn't about the vacation itself, but could this man be the unexpected guest in 5.6?

I wonder if the advice to honor the guest has to do with 13.5? I don't know - guessing - maybe if you honor his present mood somehow, like a great leader, you can make 13.5 happen?

Maybe those readings don't go together like that. Not sure.

Here's Hilary's commentary on 13.5. She says things about expressing all feelings etc.

People come into harmony when they can see one another clearly. Only when everything is out in the light, all feelings fully experienced and expressed, can they acknowledge one another. Then tensions can be defused and the situation resolved. You will need fine leaders to make an alliance possible: on a personal level, that suggests tapping into your best self, the one who is genuinely in charge of your life.

 

[becalm]

Didn't you have a reading about this vacation trip?

...yes, this one, about honoring the uninvited guests, 5.3.6 to 61

More challenges 5.3.6>61

Naturally even though it felt right to come here I’m faced with more challenges and am very very stuck. What is the best way to deal with my present challenges Hex 5.3.6>61 Line 3 - yes I am very stuck and cannot see a way out at this point. No matter what I try to do I get nowhere fast. Line 6...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Now your question wasn't about the vacation itself, but could this man be the unexpected guest in 5.6?

I wonder if the advice to honor the guest has to do with 13.5? I don't know - guessing - maybe if you honor his present mood somehow, like a great leader, you can make 13.5 happen?

Maybe those readings don't go together like that. Not sure.

Here's Hilary's commentary on 13.5. She says things about expressing all feelings etc.

Thanks Liselle - yes I'd say he's that unexpected guest for sure.....I hope we can work it out.

 

[Trojina]

Well 13.5 looked like reconciliation but

How can I progress my relationship with him
Hexagram 29.5.6>4 - Yes Hex 4 I guess it's a Immature relationship because it's new and I have to say sometimes his stubbornness comes across as childishness.
Line 5 - We've found a way to overcome obstacles (well I thought we had)
Line 6 - His stubbornness will stop things from progressing

and

. Last night he just got upset about something didn't tell me went to bed woke up this morning and did a 100% about face on us. I honestly have no idea what happened.

'face on us' not sure what that means - assume it means he completely withdrew and pulled out of all the dreams he sold you ?

I think he sounds mentally unbalanced. It's not sane to start telling family and friends within 10 days and then start talking about having a home together. It's also not sane, to then just dump you.

Sounds like a pie in the sky kind of person to me, he doesn't sound mature. Still 13.5 sounds hopeful - but then the 29 reading. Even if you get back together this is not someone I would even trust, he could do you alot of damage looking at 29.6.


I could well be wrong and this is true love in 10 days but mature people do give it a little more time than that to start telling family and getting a house together. He sounds like an extremist, a dramatist ?

 

[becalm]

He could be those things Trojina it’s hard to know in such a short time. Part of the attraction for me is he’s lived his dreams and still has them. Sailed the World in a Yacht. Bought land years ago and built his own motocross track for his kids and himself. I’ve seen the proof of all this through photos and videos. He’s as blunt and straight forward as you can get which has been a bit confronting for me but also makes me look at my own behaviour but then again these days I’m not much different and say it how it is. I guess the big difference is I have a coping mechanism and Emotional Intelligence and he doesn’t- is that immature or lack of understanding? I don’t know to be honest. He told me I have a way of getting him to understand himself because I’m so calm and am able to say it in a way he can grasp things. Not surprising after everything I’ve been through I’ve had to learn to be fair, gentle and understanding on myself. My sons say the same thing about me now, I have a way with words and such a calm demeanour they want to listen and learn. Good to know but in the bigger picture it’s up to others to be honest with themselves. Not always easy especially the older you get right?!

I re asked the same question just now as it’s a new day
What do I need to know about my relationship with him

Hex 61.5>41

Looks to me like total honesty will continue to hold us together and Decrease means giving up and letting go of the controlling side of how things should be done his/my way.

How can I progress my relationship with him
Hex 26.2.3>27
Line 2 .- things came to a standstill and it’s now a time to take some time to fix what was going wrong
Line 3 - Good to come up with a plan to address issues before they become a problem

 

[rosada]

btw,
"About face!" is a military command ordering marching soldiers to do a 180 degree turn around and face the exact opposite direction.
To "do an about face on us" then would mean he turned and went in the exact opposite direction on their relationship.

 

[becalm]

btw,
"About face!" is a military command ordering marching soldiers to do a 180 degree turn around and face the exact opposite direction.
To "do an about face on us" then would mean he turned and went in the exact opposite direction on their relationship.

Exactly!! thanks Rosada

 

[Trojina]

I re asked the same question just now as it’s a new day
What do I need to know about my relationship with him

Hex 61.5>41

I'm afraid I am too opinionated to take note of the reading. People who are suddenly very close to you , leading you on to believe things, who then just dump you with no explanation are worthless, cruel, despicable. My view is if he can do that to you then why would you want him ? If I were in your shoes I'd be totally done with him. If he can't even tell you what made him do his dramatic little 'about face' then he go to hell where he belongs. I find that kind of behaviour in a man very unattractive because he's not really acting like a man, he's not being direct. I'm curious as to what kind of comment made him react so much, I guess that's private but how bad could it be...

Ahem 61.5 - well but you have cast a few now and let's not hop over the 29 cast. But yes lovely reading but in terms of scores for him as a potential partner, I don't care what Yi says, I give him 1 out of 10. Maybe not even 1.

Of course he could turn it around and suddenly show up with flowers saying he's just had a lot on his mind, he meant to call you sooner and that little upset was just a blip and I'd expect that with 13.5, I really would expect this to turn out well.


Just looking at this again

How can I progress my relationship with him
Hexagram 29.5.6>4

I wonder if this is just advising you not to try to progress it and let him come to you ?

I'd be incredibly wary of a man who was talking about living with you when you met online recently and have only seen him over the last 10 days. I find it a bit creepy.

 

[becalm]

Fair enough, I understand what you mean for sure.
He's been out helping the farmers in the local area move livestock and prepare their homes for either evacuation or extra steps to protect their houses from the bushfires that have been burning for days if not weeks now so I haven't had much contact with him and he may well have been up all night so who knows if I'll even speak with him today.

 

[becalm]

I'm curious as to what kind of comment made him react so much, I guess that's private but how bad could it be...

Oh it was just a flippant comment about a photo I saw of a woman he once dated years ago and who he's no longer in touch with. It wasn't a nice comment nor was it an awful, it was just my opinion, but for some reason unknown to me he took offense to it. Honestly WTH!!!
That's just it - he gets 'triggered' easily and then when he's calmed down he realises he's being an idiot.

 

[diamanda]

What do I need to know about my relationship with him 13.5 > 30
This line is about old friendship kept up for a benefit. Either he already has such a person (old friend with benefits) in his life, or he wants to turn you into one.

How can I progress my relationship with him 29.5.6 > 4
If you try pacifying him (29.5), you'll be trapped for years (29.6) in a moronic situation (4).

What do I need to know about my relationship with him 61.5 > 41
If you go via honesty and love, you lose and get hurt.

How can I progress my relationship with him 26.2.3 > 27
Stop the relationship, then flirt some, then still leave him hungry - or, he'll do this to you.

I Ching apart, I would like to ask you to please re-think this rose-tinted approach... 10 days of knowing a guy through internet dating is far from enough to really get to know someone, let alone deciding that you're handing over your heart on a dish to them. Why do that? Why have no doubt it's going to work after a few days? Why not get to really know the other person as a character first, why not wait to see what they're truly like? Once you get a sign of them not being much of a decent person, why go into "how-can-I-win-him" mode?

 

[becalm]

Thanks diamanda - so much to realise.

 

[becalm]

Update: we momentarily reconciled which brought out his truth and that’s actually helped with my decision to walk away from the relationship.
I’m not sure if you’ve been reading about the fires here in Australia but I’m in one of the worst places and it’s too dangerous to leave the area so even though I thought It might be a good idea to leave completely it just isn’t possible at this time.
As it turns out another uninvited guest stepped in to alleviate the pressure of my not having a house to live and he’s the mans friend. I’m happy about that as now I finally know what was causing him to be not very nice I would like to remain friends with him.
I know it will take time for the dynamics to change but hopefully it will work out quickly

 

[becalm]

Unfortunately I still feel upset about this not working out How can I move on from this Hex 61.2>42 Line 2 Connect more to my inner self and pour energy into my Soul.