...life can be translucent

Menu

love question

moonrise

visitor
Joined
Aug 10, 1970
Messages
139
Reaction score
2
So, I am in love with this guy. He leaves abroad and I sent him two emails already but he doesn't respond.
I really had impression that he liked me too.

I asked Yi Jing: what should I do in situation with this man?
I got 16 unchanging.

I should keep my spirit high? I should not fall into sadness? Still something can happen and I should wait for it?

Then I asked how will this situation develop.
I got 11.1.2.->15

the lines in 11 seem quite positive...although I don't understand the first line saying that I should act. I don't think I should, I made my steps already.

Few days ago I also asked about the developement and I got 24.2.3.->11

Should I just forget about this guy or is there still hope to be in touch with him?

This hurt me quite a bit, so I would appreciate if someone could share the insight into this. Thanks!
 

frank

visitor
Joined
Dec 31, 1972
Messages
397
Reaction score
8
Hi Moonrise,

To me it looks like towards hexagram 16 the Yi is telling you to deal with your enthousiasm. Just be aware why you are that enthousiastic and enjoy it. With hexagram 11 the Yi is telling you to go with the flow... just enjoy what you feel... Hex. 24 towards 11 is telling you to get back at your own course, not to be to much depented upon someone else, and just enjoy the ride...

Hug,
Frank
 

moonrise

visitor
Joined
Aug 10, 1970
Messages
139
Reaction score
2
Hi, Frank,

thank you for the answer, yes, i think you gave me good advice:)
 

lenin42001

visitor
Joined
Jul 14, 2006
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
modest about modesty

15 is brilliant its the only one with all good lines. 11 is brill too. I'd say he is in love with you..............
 
S

seeker

Guest
Actually I have a different take. I have found that often, when you ask questions about love, especially if you are being too dependent on that love, Yi will answer your questions with what you need to address in yourself. It took me nearly two years and rivers of tears to amass this bit of wisdom that I am now sharing with you. Hopefully it will not take you that long:)

I'm using Karcher, The I Ching Plain and Simple

16 talks of building up strength and resources to deal with whatever the future brings and to install helpers so your forces can respond immediately. It does not say what the future will bring, only that you need to work on yourself, which is a direct answer to what you asked.

Now I will tell you from experience that you should have stopped there. Having been in your shoes, I understand why you didn't, so I will try to help with the other answers.
11.1.2 Line one says to take vigorous action to move from a lowly place with other of your own kind. The way is open, let it take you into the world. I think the lowly place may be putting too much energy into this guy, thinking about him too much. Line 2 says You are surrounded by wasteland, cross the river and leave where you are, your friends will disappear. Again, I think this may refer to the guy. You said you did not want to contact him again, and in that I think you are right. So far it appears your answers are to get on with your own life, if he is interested he will respond to you.

The third question you definitely should not have asked as it is a repeat of the second. Again, from experience, if you keep asking the same question, you may start getting invalid answers. This can be really hard, especially if they appear positive, because they can give you false hope. However, in this case the answers seem consistent. 24 is not about someone returning to you, it is about you returning to yourself. Line 2 says return to the source by relaxing your grip. Line 3 says you will confront danger with its roots in the past. Both of these indicate you need to let go and focus on you. I used to get line 3 all the time. I don't know your history, but I can tell you mine. The roots of the past indicated that I was repeating unhealthy relationship patterns. I had a tendency to get very involved with guys very quickly, to put everything on hold and let my life be ruled by them. I would see every small gesture as the most meaningful thing and then be crushed when they stopped talking to me. If that is the same Frank above, he can attest to what I say. He was there with me through much of it, posting answers to me with wonderful advice, that I unfortunately failed to take at the time. But I do thank him for trying. In my question post I asked people not to read my old posts. You are the exception, look up a few, and if you recognize yourself, stop and help yourself. If not, then you will probably be able to take Yi's advice and do what you need to do. Though I have probably not said what you wanted to hear, I hope I have helped you.

Lenin, there are no good or bad hexes or lines, though some may seem more positive than others. I will say something that I often need to be reminded of myself, Yi is not a fortune teller. It gives advice of the appropriate path to take to get you where you need to be. It does NOT give you the outcome, and the answers are quite iffy when asking about others feelings. Most of the time, especially when it comes to love questions, Yi will tell you what to do within yourself to be a whole person at peace with themselves and the world around them. Remember that this is based on Eastern philosophy, and love makes the world go round was not part of that. They were far more concerned with being "the great man". Peace
 

moonrise

visitor
Joined
Aug 10, 1970
Messages
139
Reaction score
2
Hi, lenin and seeker,
thank you both for your inputs!

Sekeer, I do recognize myself a lot in what you said, I too become dependent on the guy and in the past I was commiting the same mistakes. That's why I decided not to write to this guy any more. I sent an email, after a while I sent another one, checking if he is fine and that's it, for sure.

But I still hope that he would reply, although now it is trully time to face the loss.

I truly enjoyed your take on this and you really put in a lovely and wise way. Thank you a lot for sharing this!

I agree about the "eastern" way and "the great man".
So, maybe Yi Jing is not the right oracle for love questions:)
I mean, it is quite "male", product of a male wisdom and mind. All those "wise men" were indeed MEN. And men were always more in search of "being the great man", finding the truth, god, the ultimate, whatever you call it.

The female way is different and very much more concerned with the heart and love. And this way needs its place, too, it has been neglected for centuries. Both ways meet, male and female, but they start from a different end.

I am very much aware that only the person who is whole and at peace can trully love, but still, the way of the heart, feelings has been pushed aside and all these advice that we are listening are coming from men mostly. Great men, indeed, mystic men, but still men.

Maybe that's why it is so difficult to relate to them.

I admit, I am a true girl:) I don't care at all about my "peace and serenity and wisdom and being whole and find truth etc" - I want to love:) I don't care for anything else and maybe that's why it is so difficult to hear the Yi jing's answer, because it is a man answering a very female question.

And male and female are not necessary connected to sex, a woman can be very male and vice versa.

Well, as I said, I am female from top to bottom and I need to fulfill my heart. So, I do admit, Yi Jing's answers in this area don't resonate with me although I don't doubt in their wisdom.
But they don't talk to the heart, to compassion, to love.

They say: withdraw. Withdraw from the situation and "confront danger" danger being your wrong attitude.
This is a very male approach.

A woman could be told for instance: love but love with compassion for the other, accept his way but also your own. Don't forget about your own needs and take care of your own heart. In this way your love is bigger and grows independently of the other.

This would resonate with me and it is basically saying the same, but only from the woman's point.

What Yi Jing proposes is a male attitude of "attack or withdrawal". Attack the inferior - that would be: discard all the false attitudes. Withdraw your horses, since there is danger awaiting. Danger, dragons, army, inferior, superior, strong, weak, fight, fire, arrow, king, tiger, confront, attack, withdraw...this is an extremely male language.
This is a language of conquering, of the army. It doesn't matter if what we are conquering is the ultimate truth or our inner center or whatever. Of course Yi Jing often advises withdrawal. But withdrawal is only there if there is attack and progressing, they are complementary, they go hand in hand. Men do that. Men go after something and then they withdraw if they see no point. Like a general and his army.

This is the approach of the Yi Jing, attaining the truth, eliminating the false and rotten. A strategy of attainement. This is a way of man. Yi Jing was written by men, and this really needs to be taken into consideration. Female way is completely different and that's why I feel it is indeed very difficult to follow these advice in love matters. Because we deal with the heart and the heart speaks completely different language, the language of compassion, understanding, sharing, melting. It can be found in some traces in Yi Jing, but mostly Yi Jing is a man's way of conquering himself. And this is not a way of the heart which doesn't know anything about conquering, fighting, confronting.

So, women should write their own Yi Jing!:) And I mean it!

I am really grateful that you pointed this out, about the "great man" concept, since it helped me bring things into the light.
 

frank

visitor
Joined
Dec 31, 1972
Messages
397
Reaction score
8
Enthousiasm

Hi Moonrise,

I do understand that you do not want to handle or even hear things and that you only want love and want to be in love and give love, etc... Do not think for one moment that a man doesn´t want that to, as I´m a man, and sometimes I just want to smash the Yi against a wall when he comes up with 33, or 12, or 52 or what ever thing that gives you the idea that it will not be... In hexagram 16, as you received the Yi is ONLY reflecting your enthousiasm about all this... which is perfectly OK, otherwise you would have had changing lines... 11 is just going with the love you feel insight, which in a very important way FIRST belongs to YOU, and not to someone else...24 is just telling you to return to your own love FIRST... As my father used to say: ´How the bleep can you tickle someone if you do not know where that thickle spot is within yourself.´ So, please continu with ever loving flow you feel, and please go on spreading the love, but do realise it starts with you and most of the time stays there! Do not become dependable, as that is what Seeker and me are trying to tell you (right, seek?). Within EVERY relationship most people make the mistake to think that there is only ´us´... or ´he and me´... A relationship is not with two people, but with three! Me, YOU, and US... Do not split yourself in half, but in 33% :-D... Why are people otherwise jealous or having questions when a third party comes in? Because you already have three seats taken :-D. And why are people shouting in anger ´I feel like I have giving a lot...´. then you propably have given 50% instread :-D... Just a theory, as I do not make these thoughts when I´m in love :-D... But it´s something you keep in mind... from a man´s perspective :-D... (which is sometimes not that bad...)

Huggie,
Frank
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top