Love reading 57>9. What's the difference?

[sollina]

Recently broke up in a very unclear fashion. He went on about us being at different life phases, who knows what the future brings, etc. The whole thing came to me as a relief from an exhausting situation but struck me as unfinished.

Anyway, I've asked "What course should I take in order to be happy in love this year?" and i got 57.1 > 9
Both refer to "sun, the gentle, wind", and the changing line suggests: "Resolute discipline is far better than irresolute license".

I feel as if I got an unchanging hex whereas I did get two, and I find it hard to see either the message or the difference between the two.

Please, help me with this reading. :bows:

Thanks a lot.

 

[rosada]

The whole thing came to me as a relief from an exhausting situation but struck me as unfinished.
What course should I take to be happy in love this year?

57.
The Gentle. Success through what is small.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.
It furthers one to see the great man.

Therefore,
The superior man
Spreads his commands abroad
And carries out his undertakings.

57.1 In advancing and retreating,
The perseverance of a warrior furthers.

This last, the change line, makes me think the relationship had a sort of on again off again feeling. It sounds like on some days you were just having a light hearted romance and on other days you felt deeply committed - maybe more committed than you comfortably could be. So I suspect "a thousand doubts cropped up," but rather than ending it, you two drifted "indecisively to and fro." Now that you supposedly have broken up this uncertainty aspect can continue to haunt you, causing you to wonder if you are indeed finished or if perhaps you may get back together one more time. "The perseverance of a warrior furthers" sounds like in order to be happy in love this year you need to first affirm that this relationship is indeed kaput and that you are not waiting around to see if the two of you will get back together. Then I think you are being further told to resolve not to get involved in heavy, unclear, burdensome relationships again. "Success through what is small": Keep it light. "It furthers one to have somewhere to go": Get out of the house. "It furthers one to see the great man": Hang with people who know what they want, no more of this "who knows what the future brings" crap.

As for spreading your "commands abroad and carrying out undertakings," I see this as urging you to really go forward with your intention of meeting new people. No making plans and then canceling.

Hex.9 follows 8.Holding Together, so it can be seen as advice for how to be after leaving a "Holding Together" situation and going forward on your own. The idea is that one should be comfortable and complete within themselves. I see it as telling you love this year can be very satisfying if you don't get impatient to have a deeper commitment than what is comfortable. If you are basically satisfied with yourself, a light hearted love relationship will be easy to create and maintain.

57. is about getting real information, about "penetrating clarity of judgement that thwarts all hidden motives." Your friend's reasons for ending the partnership are particularly unclear and this can keep you from understanding how things went bad and therefore uncertain as to how to move on. I think you are being told that you must DECIDE to move on, and that you must also be clear about what you are looking for in your next relationship and not settle for anything less.

 

[mirian]

I think that the Yi is saying that the main problem is irresolution. You are indecisive about what YOU want your love life to be - the kind of relationship you would like to have, the partner that you are looking for.... Hex 57.1 is telling you that you have to make up your mind and then go for what you want. Hex 9 shows that you are being held back and, in my view, it is your own attitude and frame of mind that prevent you from being happy in love at the moment. So, if you take the Yi advice and start moving - constantly and gently - towards your dreams you can achieve the happiness that you are hoping for.

Best of luck

 

[sollina]

I think that the Yi is saying that the main problem is irresolution. You are indecisive about what YOU want your love life to be - the kind of relationship you would like to have, the partner that you are looking for....
...

I don't know how to make multiple quotes but what you've written and what rosada has written just as well, spookily seems as if you are describing him instead of me.

I have never been irresolute: I've always been sure I want that relationship to succeed, what I liked and what I liked in him/us and calmly accepted the negative sides, since I don't think there is either a person nor a relationship who's got it all peachy.

He's a different story: as I've already written he's just about to end the exhausting divorce, likes me, enjoys me, but doesn't know where he is nor what he wants right now. He's been trying not to miss me in his life but I obviously happened too early in the whole situation. So the irresolution is his: now fully commited, then totally off, now clear, then vague... This is a very strange reading which tells me more about him then about me. Or I'm unable to see myself...

Thank you for your comments.

 

[dobro p]

Anyway, I've asked "What course should I take in order to be happy in love this year?" and i got 57.1 > 9
Both refer to "sun, the gentle, wind", and the changing line suggests: "Resolute discipline is far better than irresolute license".

57.1 talks about exercising strong self-discipline in both advancing and retreating. So the Yi's telling you about a need to maintain a firm grip on your emotions in what promises to be an interesting ride this year in your love life. In love, advancing means when the surge is one, when you're feeling the rush of falling in love: the Yi's saying 'take it with a grain of salt; you've been there before; it's a signal that chemistry's happening but not necessarily a signal that it's chemistry that's good for you - keep your eyes and your options open and don't throw yourself away'. Retreating means when you're either hurt or pulling back from a possibility of hurt: the Yi's saying 'don't panic, it ain't the end, it's just another chapter'.

 

[gene]

Solina

The line may very well be describing him, not you, but it appeared that your question didn't really involve him, just what you need to do now. I would suggest that there is more truth in the answer than you care to admit, perhaps, not in terms of indecision, but in terms of "the thousand doubts that keep cropping up." For indeed, your question to the I Ching does indeed imply an element of doubt. In terms of what you need to do... you don't need to do anything. If you have had relationships in the past, you will be able to attract them in the future. Your question implies a doubt about your ability to be happy. Why? The key to being happy is just be happy. It doesn't have anything to do with having relationships or not. It is that simple. Be happy. Your doubt indicates of fear of unhappiness, of loss of love or self esteem. This impies the "thousand doubts that crop up." None of it need be. Relax and let it happen.

Gene

 

[willowfox]

"What course should I take in order to be happy in love this year?" and i got 57.1 > 9

This quite clearly states that it is you who should stop being indecisive and get yourself together and go out and meet the world head on, you need determination and strong decisiveness.

 

[mirian]

Dear Sollina

Just to add a bit here. The Yi is not saying that you are irresolute as a person; rather it is showing a great deal of indecisiveness that is getting in the way of happiness this year. The Yi is addressing your question. In my view, one way of exercising the "resolute discipline is far better than irresolute license" (1st changing line) would be, for example, not to accept in your life a boyfriend who is vague and has problems to commit himself.
Please read carefully the posts with interpretations from different angles and you will see that your reading is, actually, encouraging and inspiring.

Mirian

 

[sollina]

Dear Sollina

Just to add a bit here. The Yi is not saying that you are irresolute as a person; rather it is showing a great deal of indecisiveness that is getting in the way of happiness this year. The Yi is addressing your question. In my view, one way of exercising the "resolute discipline is far better than irresolute license" (1st changing line) would be, for example, not to accept in your life a boyfriend who is vague and has problems to commit himself.
Please read carefully the posts with interpretations from different angles and you will see that your reading is, actually, encouraging and inspiring.

Mirian

Dear Mirian

thank you for your encouragement. I'm not being pessimistic at all, on the contrary. As I have stated at the very beginning, the break-up came as a relief from exhaustion, from vagueness, from "today-this-tomorrow-that" situation. Why I had accepted that in the first place? Well, I think that life does not consist only of good moments but of troubles just as well and that I should be supportive during a period which was difficult for him. Obviously, it wasn't enough.

The reading struck me as referring to him rather than me since I've never saw myself as indecisive: I've endured lots of thing most people wouldn't have either strength or patience for. Or stupidity.

Your interpretation, though, that my being decisive could mean "not accepting vague people with commitment issues" I do see as a good one. That is something I should definitely work on.

Thak you again.