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Meant to be together? 20.4.6

shady

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This one has really got me. I asked I Ching if I am meant to be with my currently estranged fiance, if not now then at some point in the future. I got back 20.4.6 > 45. Which almost seemed like it was saying 'there's no 'meant' to be about it. It is always your choice'.

I asked about whether my ex missed me this morning and drew 41.6 > 19. I think at the time I interpreted this as a 'yes' or at least as though he is starting to... with the idea of the 'end of decrease (him stopping decreasing his time away from me)' leading to an 'approach'... am I being overly optimistic or does this suggest some sort of return, even on a purely friendly level?

I might be reading wrongly into all this... but so far the I Ching seems to be urging me to be cautious and patient. I ask about my ex every day and more often than not draw a hopeful reading for the long term future, though nothing good for the immediate future.

I'm probably getting a little out of control with how much I'm asking, but I'm trying to cut it down to once a week. I'm mainly getting the same answers about patience and caution but I can't seem to help myself.

Any interpretations appreciated.
 

shady

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Oh, and I also asked if he would return eventually, and drew 55.2.5 > 43. Which says to me yes, but there will be major difficulties and obstacles which will need to be overcome in order to succeed.
 

djschu

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Hello Shady

I am going to de-lurk and see if I can add something to your interpretations. Your first question was, "if I am meant to be with my currently estranged fiance." 20.4.6>45 I think the I Ching is suggesting that you need to contemplate (20) whether you are meant to be (45) with the ex, and the changing lines, seem to me anyway, to support that. And yes, it is always your choice.

Next you asked "whether my ex missed me this morning." 41.6 > 19 I think your interpretation is pretty close to what I would think the answer means. However, I would caution you against reading too much into the answer, because I think the answer is describing his feelings, but not necessarily what action he would take to act on those feelings. I could be wrong about that, but it is definitely positive concerning feelings.

And finally you asked if he would return eventually. 55.2.5 > 43 I have to admit that after many years of practicing the I Ching, hexagram 43 still gives me some trouble deciding it's meaning for a given question. Basically, I can't decide if the I Ching is saying here that a decision has been made or should be made, and so because of that, I would defer to your interpretation here. It could be either from my point of view.

I don't think that you are out of control with how many questions you ask, especially given the situation in which you find yourself. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been in a similar situation in the past, and I understand your need for information that is often hidden from us. The questions that I would ask would mostly concern the others feelings about reuniting and any movement or decisions towards that. I hope you find good luck.
 

gnar

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Oh, jeez. I totally asked the same question and got the same response.

20 - Kuan, Is a place before any movement is decided, but already the intention or desire is known. This also describes anticipation and dependency. You know what you want, and it's up to you to either act on it or not.

Line 4 -- Describes the observance of what drives something is. Good or bad is a matter of opinion regarding this "driving force". In a relationship, for example, if you watch two couples from a distance, you can say, "ah, this is just puppy love", that is the driving force. The nature or "light".

This line also describes a modest way of doing or being.

Line 6 -- Describes looking at yourself and your immediate surroundings. Your journey so far; Who you are "after all these", and who you still are and have always been.

45 - Tsui, describes pent up force. Controlled, measured, a place of focus, accumulation. This commends a time of getting back on track with regards to your assets, talents, or a moment of preparation. Imagine rambo strapping his gear.

In any case, what I got from this is very simple yet true:

I can only tell if we are good for each other if I know the fruit of our relationship, and then look to myself how this relationship is affecting me. Is it good for me? People might say or your partner, "we are good for each other; we are meant to be". But what if it is poisonous to me?

To be honest, this was a long time ago, but as a man, I took the time to give my previous girl the chance to be the "king", just to see who she really is, and what she's really like and how our relationship would be like if I were not to be the one that keeps things in a balance. This sounds odd, I know. But in some relationships, there's always this one person who exerts the effort to maintain harmony, right?

Anyway, I did that, and realized something.
 

precision grace

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To be honest, this was a long time ago, but as a man, I took the time to give my previous girl the chance to be the "king", just to see who she really is, and what she's really like and how our relationship would be like if I were not to be the one that keeps things in a balance. This sounds odd, I know. But in some relationships, there's always this one person who exerts the effort to maintain harmony, right?

Anyway, I did that, and realized something.

I would love it if you could elaborate (if you feel like sharing that is). Specially about what does it mean to let the girl be king (you mean let her call all the shots? but then you say you had retreated from being the one who ensures harmony? And what did you realise? All very mysterious.

shady, I think all of your readings point out to the need for both you and the other party needing to correct inner position so that from such authentic place any eventual relationship rekindling can be established - if it is meant to be. By meant to be, I don't mean that there is a fixed fate for all of us, but by the fact of exercising our choices in every day, we make certain futures more likely than others.
 

gnar

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So true. I agree with you on that Grace.

What I realized is that not all people are equipped with the understanding, ability, flexibility, stability, emotional control, logic, etc, etc. And that especially in relationships, when the best of both complements the worst of both, each one in the relationship can feel more complete and more functional than ever.

So, you're right, in what you imply up there, that a relationship is meant to be when each one is nurtured in a holistic manner to help each one come into self-actualization. This process entails a lot of bumps and crashes, it's only natural. But then again, this is where the synergy of both comes into play, or even develop.
 

precision grace

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when the best of both complements the worst of both, each one in the relationship can feel more complete and more functional than ever.

Something everyone should keep in mind and aspire to. Very wise for a child at heart ;)
 

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