Mexican Standoff? LOL Hexagram 43.3.5-->54

[pink_panther]

Hey guys its me again.

Quick review of what's going on: Broke up with my ex a few months ago, he has been reaching out here and there. I still have feelings for him and want to reunite but am wary of the situation. The past few readings have shown "mistrust" between both of us which sums up the situation pretty well.

I feel like we are in a Mexican standoff trying not to lose the upper hand.

I asked Iching what the current situation was as of now (last week he messaged me but then proceeded to apologize repeatedly via text and in person for "bothering me") and got Hexagram 43.3.5 -> 54

I'm having a hard time understanding 43.3

"This particular lines points to someone caught in an ambiguous situation, where existing relationships interfere with a determined struggle against negative forces. In such a situation, you may have to use your position to turn things around, even though others impugn your motives, with the result that your reputation may become muddied. But if you keep your motivation pure, even association with disruptive influences will leave you free of blame."

I'm thinking of offering to bring him lunch next week when I see him at work. Just as a way of saying "hey I'm thinking of you, and I'm not angry with you." The negative forces that are against me are clearly the kids and ex and his own pride. Hexagram 54 to me, means that regardless of progress made, I will still come 2nd place when it comes to the kids and ex. (Which I really am ok with, but he needs to respect my decision to live on my own until the kids are older/move out).

I asked what will happen if I bring him lunch and got Hexagram 15.4.5 --->31.
I feel this shows me laying down my arms, approaching him with "modesty" and getting a good reaction (Hex 31?)

I asked what would happen if I did nothing and got hexagram 12. (stagnation) which is pretty much were we are now.

Any ideas on additional or different interpretations? You all have been so incredibly helpful and I am so grateful. :bows:

Thank you!

-Pink_Panther

 

[Tim K]

43.3 Richmond:
The cheekbones enable us to read determination in another's face; here there is this power of self-will which is misfortunate in this context because no amount of it can be effective and it produces stress with no flow for its relief. The wide-seeing superior man is just going about his business, not trying to push things, and this is correct in our present circumstances.
You are trying to break-apart (43) but you don't want to let go of your feelings either, and it creates problems. If want to stay in the middle of breaking apart - just hold him at arm's length and that's it.

Middle hex is 58.5
Crowley: Too trustful customers may buy too dear.
Richmond: Trusting in something that is disintegrating brings trouble.

The existential moment is always fresh; the happenings in it then disintegrate, as they have to as it is a flow of change, so if we attach ourselves to these happenings we cannot have joy in the existential moment.
Advice to eventually let him go, he is not a good influence on you.


About lunch: 15.4 → 62.5 → 31
15.4 You can make a gesture, but with no strings attached at all. No personal feelings whatsoever, just to show that you have taken neutral position towards him.

62 small details, yes, and line 5:
Richmond:
Dense clouds from our western land but no rain falls.
The prince shoots and hits one in the cave.

Feeling is the release and flow symbolized by rain; here it is not released because identity is not allowing it; it comes from the west, where the sun sets, showing it to be a dying activity.
The prince, our latest identity, has aimed his identifying into the inner darkness, the cave, and has hit something there; he does not know what he hit but he was probably afraid of it.
It won't get you closer with him, you are shooting in the dark.
I think you would be trading your humility(15) for attraction (31), which you shouldn't do.
Show to him your position and let him go.

 

[pink_panther]

You are so right Ashteroid....I am trying to let go but every time he reaches out it just kills me. My rational mind is saying leave this situation there's no way to win this , but my heart still cares and wants to make things work.

Thank you for the advice. I think I will refrain from taking him lunch and just keep to myself.

If I may ask for help with one more inquiry? I asked why does he keep reaching out and got:

Hexagram 31.5 ->62

"Chills down the spine but no startled movements. No regrets."

Does this mean he is just playing with me? And then retreating to see how I react? Or that he is just as clueless as I am as to how to bring this about considering the situation? I think he is in the same situation where he cares about me but hasn't come to terms with the fact that due to certain circumstances/situations this simply cannot happen.

Thank you again Ashteroid. It's greatly appreciated. You saved me from making a big mistake. :bows:

-Pink Panther

 

[Tim K]

Why does he keep reaching out? 31.5 → 62

Well that one was a tough nut to crack, the first thing that came into my mind after reading 5th line 'influence shows itself above the heart' - he knows your weak spot and is just pushing that button.
Then I thought - to give you a chance to pass this test, again and again, to 'go low' (h62). To listen to your innermost feelings and stop this relationship openly.
But I couldn't fit it into the reading ... 31 is kinda auspicious for these readings. And why opening your heart, the flow of feelings will lead to 62 small success/ small excess?

Finally it made sense with Huang's commentary. That 31 is called 'Cutting' because the archaic meaning of the Chinese character used in the hex's title, was 'An axe'. Cutting differents parts of the body to prevent some activity.
Here's 5th line:
Ending an involvement without regrets
Bam!

To give you a chance to finish your lesson and graduate. Let your inner/gut feelings out!

 

[pink_panther]

Thanks Ashteroid.