Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
"Two nights ago I had a conversation with my b/f on phone, and heaven only knows why he launched into an attack on me about my victim-mentality. Not kindly, nicely, speaking-the-truth-in-love-sort-of-way, but nastily"
Because you spend much of your time complaining about how others "make you feel".
Just like you did in this post, and have done in most of your posts.
And it can be very frustrating to hear over and over again.
Do you recall what you were saying just before he started yelling at you?
Could you have been complaining about someone or something?
I would wager you were.
When people complain they are crying out for help. (With a crisis)
When people hear a cry for help they naturally want to help (by solving the crisis)
When someone is trying to help and they are unsuccessful because the very person they are trying to help is preventing them, unreceptive, or making the problem worse, you have the recipe for frustration.
Everyone has limitations, your b/f may be nearing the end of his rope.
When you reach out for needed help (sympathy) it is a natural and good thing.
But the thing is Nemean, you might be doing something slightly different.
By constantly angrily complaining you may be actually be looking for bonding.
But what you are seeking is a bond of misery, a warparty.
"I am feeling angry, come join the club, we can feel hurt together and make jerky of our enemies. Oh this one is chewey, pass me the salt"
B/F was applying the fetters to you, trying to get you to stop what you were doing.
Consistently, i have seen you focused on other peoples actions and not your own,
Reaching out for sympathy and not recognising when you have it.
And most importantly, not being sympathetic to yourself.
(When you are feeling upset, acknowledge it, remind yourself that you would like to feel differently, then take steps that make that happen. Sometimes the step may not be forward trajectory progress, but stilling or withdrawing your hand from the thorny box)
So, what did you have for breakfast?
Im having coffee and a sweetroll.
And, uh, what's up with "the pot" ? What are you stewing?
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).