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fatima1977

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My English is not too good, so I hope i comunicate well.First I asked what am I expecting from him? And i got 30.3.4 moving to 27.Second, I asked how do I know when it is time to mové on? 53.5 to 52 I gotTo bring context, I am in a long relationship. We met in 2003 split in 2005 and started to ve together un 2011 until 2017. We had a baby girl that died the giving birth Day.We split because I met someone else and after a year I came back to him. We don't live together and haven't has physical approach since 2015 when I was pregnant. This matter has always been quite confusing between us but we have many other good things like way of thinking, ethical, similar aesthetics, etc. But I dont get to understand why un intimacy is so complicated since that has always been quite spontaneous to me...I know I am expecting mire clarity and also I am tired. I want to have another baby with him but at the same time sometimes I Just want yo quit the relationship again..I feel might be reasonable considering I am very tired and I feel I dont have many more resources to handle this.I have a sense of commitment but we discuss (verbal fights) a lot and have a Hard time not to be in a more intelectual state of mind. There are other Men flirting with me but I dont wsny yo break the relationship until I have exhausted all resources. The fact is i dont know if i have had. The fact is i dont know standstill means doing nothing or split apart... I am sorry if this is top long but I feel i really need help. Thank you all people contributing with some clarity... Seems I need to stand by my partner but I dont know if my interpretation is wromg because i am psychologically too tires or Just something is Just not working well in my mind. Kind regards, PF
 

diamanda

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Hi fatima,

Sorry to hear you've been through so much. I guess all these traumatising experiences have confused you a lot. Here's my take on your readings.

First I asked what am I expecting from him? 30.3.4 > 27
This describes the end of something, burned and thrown away, and then 27 shows emptiness and hunger. So maybe you're expecting that if you pretend to break up with him he'll come after you.

Second, I asked how do I know when it is time to move on? 53.5 > 52
The answer speaks of finally having a child with someone, and having stability in your life. Remember what a good partner looks like. Once you remember this, you'll see that this guy has not treated you well and thus cannot be a good partner, neither someone to have children with. For sure a good partner does not stop intimacy for years. A good partner also tries to solve problems together with you, when they arise, and doesn't endlessly fight without solution.

I would suggest you write down a summary of how he has treated you over the years. Then write down how a good partner would have behaved in those instances.
 

fatima1977

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Hi Diamanda. Answering is very kind of you. I have always tried to see both sides in order not to be extra demanding or unfair. I wouldnt say he is a bad person, just very confused... Anyway about having him coming to me or chasing me I dont think so. He is very proud and it is me Who has always been back. I feel he punishes me with indifference but maybe because I am a needy perdón. Maybe I could interprete that staying with him will keep me in a state of hunger. What do you think about that?I truly find solving problems with him is very difficult but since I am 42 I believe I wont have a New chance of being a Mother. I will do that list. Life is mix and complex. He is still angry because I left him in 2017 but I really needed warmth after my baby's death. He also list his mum after a year.Do you hace a suggestion on what else to ask? If things can change, maybe? Thank you for your supportFP
 

diamanda

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I feel he punishes me with indifference but maybe because I am a needy person.
Wanting a partner and children is not 'needy', it's perfectly normal.

Maybe I could interprete that staying with him will keep me in a state of hunger
Also possible that it refers to you. He has proved to you, for many years now, that he can't offer you any love nor family. So it's guaranteed that staying with him will keep you forever hungry.

I truly find solving problems with him is very difficult but since I am 42 I believe I wont have a New chance of being a Mother
Solving problems with him seems 100% impossible. Since he can't even resolve the problems between you, how fit is he to be a father? This man is not good to have a family with, as you can already see. I don't know in which country you live, but if you're in a hurry to become a mother how about you seek artificial insemination? It won't be that different to having a child with this guy, since he will most probably be an 'absent' father anyway...

Do you hace a suggestion on what else to ask? If things can change, maybe?
I don't know what to suggest Fatima. This is a sad story, and I believe that the longer you stay trapped in it, the more years you will waste on nothing... But anyway, if you have more questions, cast some more and I'll try to help.
 

fatima1977

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Hi Diamanda. Thanks again. I made two more questions in order to get more clarity, I guess...1. How can I get more sentimental clarity? 64.2.4.6 into 22. Can things change in a positive way? I got 40.4.6 changing to 4, which makes me feel more confused or just I am too innocent if I think it might get any better...3. Can we become a happy family? I got 58.1.2.4.5 changing to 2I don't want to keep asking, maybe it is I am asking wrongly... 2 appears twice.He is not a bad person, maybe just we are not suit for each other. What do you think about that receptive hexagram?I promise to stop here but my sense of commitment is very strong and at the same time I feel we are stangnat.I am from Peru. The is of course possible to get an insemination here but with respect to those that choose that I don't feel it is an option for me since I grew up far from my dad and I think it is unfair.Thanks for your kindness and time,PF
 

diamanda

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How can I get more sentimental clarity? 64.2.4.6 > 2
Put full brakes on and stop communicating with him (64.2). Then you need to wage full war against 'demons', perhaps your inner demons (64.4), or his demonic nature (even though you can't see what he is at the moment). If you do that, you'll be able to overcome your sentimental confusion, you'll win the 'battle' (64.6). Resulting 2 shows being empty and happy with it (as opposed to 27, which is empty but hungry). If you do what the lines in 64 advise, you'll be able to remove this guy from inside you. So to sum up, with a really great effort, you'll be able to gain clarity and save yourself from this harmful person.

Can things change in a positive way? 40.4.6 > 4
This combination shows an impossible situation with a malicious person. No matter if you trust them and let your guard down (40.4), or if you try to attack this predator (40.6), the result is 4, ignorance and an immature and stupid situation overall. There's no way to resolve the problem, any interaction with this person will always end up in an absurd scenario. So no, there's no chance to have a positive change with this guy.

Can we become a happy family? 58.1.2.4.5 > 2
Someone alone and happy to be alone (58.1). Having joy with someone else, perhaps with a child (58.2). If you do stay with him, you'll manage to have a child. However, very quickly the situation changes and someone makes a choice (58.4) and splits (58.5). The result is emptiness, a woman alone. No, you can't become a happy family. If you don't want your child to grow up without a father, it's not a good idea to have a child with this guy.

Fatima I would really advise you to see a psychologist, if you can afford it, to help you sort out this situation within yourself. There's something extremely unhealthy about this - how come you're being kept captive in this, since 2003? How come you're waiting for sex with him for four years now? He has treated you with great contempt and indifference for so long, and yet you feel commitment - why?

You say he's not a bad person. I disagree. Let's suppose that a hypothetical man was in love with you, and waited for you, heart-broken for you, for endless years. If you didn't love him, would you let him wait and suffer, for years? If you loved this hypothetical man - would you stay away from him for years? Would you treat him with contempt? I'm hoping you would answer no to these questions. A kind person would answer no to these questions. He clearly isn't kind. You've lived in this for so long that you can't see how insane the situation is. Please do something to break free and look after yourself.
 

Trojina

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As you asked for my view on these Fatima I will have a go.

But remember in the area of relationships there isn't anyone outside of you, whatever kind of reader they are, who can tell you for sure your best direction, it is only their impressions. Between two people there is always free choice.

My English is not too good, so I hope i comunicate well.First I asked what am I expecting from him? And i got 30.3.4 moving to 27.
Well 30 line 3 talks about how if older people don't beat their pots and sing then they will lament. I think the idea is to make the most of what you have right now because that's all we have and half the time we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. I think you may be looking at him in a slightly pessimistic way perhaps ?

I think as a sentence 30>27 would be Clarity's Needs - it's about knowing your needs so it's almost simply a reflection of the question. To know what you expect of him you need to be clear (30) about your own needs (27) to be clear about what is essential to you and what isn't in a relationship, bearing in mind no relationship fulfils every need we have. In line 3 someone is bemoaning their old age when Yi says they need to celebrate what is there. Line 4, something that comes suddenly and dies away quickly almost as if it never were there ? I'm not sure what it's saying here but as you have had 53 several times over these issues in this thread and another one I tend to think again you are being asked to slow down rather than rush to put things right.

Perhaps you could try to live more in the moment, in this day and hour , rather than try to plot out the future.



Second, I asked how do I know when it is time to mové on? 53.5 to 52 I gotTo bring context, I am in a long relationship. We met in 2003 split in 2005 and started to ve together un 2011 until 2017. We had a baby girl that died the giving birth Day.We split because I met someone else and after a year I came back to him.
Yes the reading says , you are in a long term relationship. You have spent many years together, got pregnant together and even after leaving him you returned. 53.5 is about things that have been long awaited, almost feeling like they will never arrive, then they do. It doesn't sound to me like time to move on it sounds like time to bring to fruition what there is between you, another baby perhaps and if not a baby then a fruition of the relationship.

You have had 53.5 twice so though I cannot make predictions of such things I must say it sounds a good omen for another pregnancy.



We don't live together and haven't has physical approach since 2015 when I was pregnant. This matter has always been quite confusing between us but we have many other good things like way of thinking, ethical, similar aesthetics, etc. But I dont get to understand why un intimacy is so complicated since that has always been quite spontaneous to me...I know I am expecting mire clarity and also I am tired. I want to have another baby with him but at the same time sometimes I Just want yo quit the relationship again..I feel might be reasonable considering I am very tired and I feel I dont have many more resources to handle this.I have a sense of commitment but we discuss (verbal fights) a lot and have a Hard time not to be in a more intelectual state of mind
It's a fight between you having another baby with him and leaving him. But you only just left him and came back so why did you come back ? You must have come back for a reason.


I guess my view is you are better to try for another baby with him than leave him. Leaving him doesn't work does it ?

There are other Men flirting with me but I dont wsny yo break the relationship until I have exhausted all resources. The fact is i dont know if i have had.
And of course you don't have to be with any man, you could be alone for a while. I think a woman's life can feel very tortuous if she feels it is essential to be with a man all the time. (edit I see you do live alone right now) But I think if you leave him again you may risk losing him completely and there will be no going back. It's very hard on someone to be left for someone else. You can't leave him and come back again that would be cruel so you need to be more settled in your mind.
 
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Trojina

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I'll also just look at these other readings...but thinking about it we have a saying "a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush" and that reminds me of 30.3. We grow up thinking there's a perfect man somewhere who is exactly right for us and that's a lie, actually a lie that ruins lives because then we are looking for an ideal not a real person. 30.3 makes me think you need to count his good qualities more than his bad ones. And remember he can change too, you can change together, you can grow together into something other than you are now. 53.5 says there is possibility.



Thanks again. I made two more questions in order to get more clarity, I guess...1. How can I get more sentimental clarity? 64.2.4.6 into 22.
It takes you a while, it's not over night and maybe you don't feel at ease but that is because there are big things going on between you (64.4) and you are in a place where you can't fully tell what's really happening (22). You are tending to see surface appearances of the relationship more than what it really is maybe.


Can things change in a positive way? I got 40.4.6 changing to 4, which makes me feel more confused or just I am too innocent if I think it might get any better..
Yes, I think other answers have said that.



.3. Can we become a happy family? I got 58.1.2.4.5 changing to 2I don't want to keep asking, maybe it is I am asking wrongly... 2 appears twice.He is not a bad person, maybe just we are not suit for each other. What do you think about that receptive hexagram?I promise to stop here but my sense of commitment is very strong and at the same time I feel we are stangnat.I am from Peru. The is of course possible to get an insemination here but with respect to those that choose that I don't feel it is an option for me since I grew up far from my dad and I think it is unfair.Thanks for your kindness and time,PF
Well I think you can be a family if you already know he's not perfect, you're not perfect BUT the truth is you are drawn to each other so much you keep returning. Hopefully the relationship you have is one where you will grow together, not always happy, but a real relationship.

Bear in mind I'm not saying you must stay together but after considering your readings and your situation and that what you said in private message I feel another baby is quite a strong possibility and I rarely if ever say such things. Perhaps you two are meant to be together even though it's hard ?
 

Hepzibah

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Sorry I wrote that above comment when I was reading diamandas advice to get clear of this chap as you were feeling so bad. Then I read Trojina a advice ! I don’t know what to say except contentment and stability seem to be absent !!
 

Trojina

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Use the thanks button it will save you explaining :rolleyes:
 

fatima1977

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Thank you Trojina for all your support. I have had some busy days so I couldn't answer back in a timely manner. I will approach you via private message. Thank to all people that have tried helping me with their comments. Actually, I am much more tranquile about this all. :)Fátima
 

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