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My ex's feelings?

ellewoods

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Hey everyone! This is my first post here ever, and I must say I'm extremely new to the IChing... I've been trying to use it all summer on this site to gain insight into my breakup with my ex almost daily...

We're on pretty decent terms (I believe), but he's the type of guy who, when he really opens up how he feels for me - or anything else for that matter - he immediately retreats and gets freaked out. He's said, "It's like pulling teeth"

Anyway... we've been kind of off and on this summer. I know he cares about me but he ultimately doesn't know what he wants, and lately that has made me angry, but I've sworn I won't let it anymore because I want him in my life and don't want to push him away by any means.

Today I asked, "Are T's feelings for me negative or positive?" Because I just really sometimes never know what is going on in his head. I got 58.2 > 17
Does this mean he's open to still being close with me? Sorry I repeat I'm still new at this /:

Then I asked, "Will T ever want to truly open his heart to me?" (Note: I didn't ask "will he?" or not) And I got 33.5.6 > 62
Which doesn't look so good? I really don't know to be honest...

Please help!
 

yxeli

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Hi Elle! You still wearing alot of pink? ;)

58.2 >17 is a great reading for what your describing, you want him to be able to express to you his true thoughts, and I think this reading suggests that by going with the flow (17) when talking with him it will bring about some good results. are t's feelings negative or positive Its about trust here, mutual trust that builds with time and then you'll be able to talk about things more openly. But you got to cut out the bullshit. Be happy and open, and choose words that are the closest to what your really feeling. thers not much room for game playing in this line. Honest and congenial discussions that establish mutual trust it what he's looking for here, so no winding eachother up to try and force the truth out is important. And being able to express your true thoughts takes time and practice. So i think he wants to be able to talk with you openly, but this kind of trust takes time to build.

By the way, you asked 2 q's in one here are t's feelings 'negative' OR 'positive'. This kind of q will drive you nuts, cos you wont know whether its one thing or the other, also, i'd suggest always asking from your perspective, its hard cos everyone wants to know what the others thinking when it comes to romance, but a roundabout way of figuring out his feelings would be to ask 'what does t need from me?' Try and keep you questions with you being the central character, and only one q at a time.

"Will T ever want to truly open his heart to me?"

i think at the minute, he's in retreat, he's thinking about all thats happened but not with any negativity really, as line 5 is all about being friendly and line 6 is the line when all is thought through, and all is well with the world again, the retreat actually opens up possibility of attracting something again. I'ts not necessarily attracting this relationship back as a romantic thing, but it might be too. all it says is that hes in the process of lying low right now (62) to process and think things through. in 62 you cant make any grand gestures or giant expressions, you have to keep your head down, and amass little gains. i think theres alot of details that he needs to clear up before he can get out of where he is, he needs to retreat at this time to really think about all these things, and unfortunately theres not much you can do but wait and maybe think things through for yourself too.

Yx
 

ellewoods

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Thank you Yxeli!

I understand what you are saying about how I should keep my questions in my perspective and make sure there aren't two sides to the question. I also completely feel strongly about how my ex is currently "retreating" to figure things out for himself... he's got many things stressing him out and making him "depressed" as of lately...

I cast another question, "What must I do to make T want me again?" and I got 64.6 > 40
Not Yet Across / Release ? I'm lost...
 

yxeli

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you need to watch how you behave and what you say when your drunk by the looks of things. being 'honest; and letting every single feeling and thought come to espression whilst under the influence are two very different things.

if you cant see any correlation with what ive just written, it could mean your daydreaming a little too much and not basing things on reality. your desire for him is blocking out the truth of the situation.

Yx
 

ellewoods

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Your answer just made my mouth drop... because I have a tendency to pick drunken fights with him and it makes him really angry... that's all just mind-boggling. Where did you get that from? And how did you get the daydreaming aspect too?

Because sometimes I do feel like I've lost him, and everything we ever had is just lost inside my head now...... ):
 

ginnie

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I also completely feel strongly about how my ex is currently "retreating" to figure things out for himself...
That's the way men are. They need to retreat 'to their caves' to figure things out for themselves.

About your 58.2, there seem to be two different meanings currently in the various translations. Meaning #1 is that he likes you because you're fun. The other meaning is about temptation and about how true joy comes from within, not from the seductive pleasures of life and how we can resist inappropriate pleasures. So, that's one line I don't like to get myself, because its meaning is uncertain.
 

yxeli

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elle, i got that from getting that line alot myself, then reading every translation and the hexagram section of this site! ;) Takes one to know one.

Listen to ginnie here, she knows what shes talking about.

Yx
 

ellewoods

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That's the way men are. They need to retreat 'to their caves' to figure things out for themselves.

About your 58.2, there seem to be two different meanings currently in the various translations. Meaning #1 is that he likes you because you're fun. The other meaning is about temptation and about how true joy comes from within, not from the seductive pleasures of life and how we can resist inappropriate pleasures. So, that's one line I don't like to get myself, because its meaning is uncertain.
Thanks Ginnie!

Are you meaning that 58.2 could mean those two things or is that concerning both of my questions? Either way, my ex and I have always gotten along due to our sarcastic sense of humor and we never really failed to enjoy each other's company. As for the temptation thing, the only temptation I currently feel is my strong desire to want to constantly reach out to him, though I know it would do nothing but have him retreat even more into his shell... I feel like that temptation is slowly fading because I know he'll be ready to talk to me when he's ready.

And unless this temptation is referring to sex, well... we did have a pretty passionate relationship... but we haven't been sexual since we broke up. It would just cause more problems...
 

ginnie

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All I can say is to give him the time to sort things out for himself, since he's going to take that time anyway ... In other words, there's nothing you can do about it, so why not go along with it ...
 

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