Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
My dad has congestive heart failure and has to wear a defibrillator vest 24/7 in case he has a heart attack. I asked how I would be affected by my father's death, and also to have an idea of how long it would be from now-days, months, years? I'm fairly young to be going through this, I'm 42, and it's come quite suddenly. Last week was when it really hit me and I did a lot of emotional processing. Me and my dad were very close when I was a small child but he's been emotionally unavailable since I was about 14, so him dying wouldn't be a huge shift in my everyday life since I rarely speak to him. But I know it will be hard and scary and sad and all of that. Just saying, it's not like if my child or my best friend were dying. Anyway, I got 52.3.6 changing to 2. It's interesting that line 3 talks a lot about the heart. Insights?
My fear is that I won't be able to keep this up for long. I've been going over to his house and visiting everyday, but needed to take a break this weekend, as it's very uncomfortable and stressful for me to be there. It's hard to see him in this weakened state and since we haven't been intimate since childhood, there's this lingering fear that I'll have to be intimate with him now. So a big part for me is to stay present, maybe that's 52.
'And in parallel: you move in your rooms, your domestic space (or the chambers of your mind, which can also get crowded with people), and don't see your people. Being fully aware of other people, sensitive to their presence and needs, is generally thought a Good Thing – hence the reassurance that not to be aware of them is ‘not a mistake’. .'
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).