Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I'll have a stab at an interpretation.Recently, after becoming more intimate with my partner, I realized the importance of a good sex & an OK relationship for my vitality and mental health- something I have been deprived of for much of my life. No need to say, it has had a destructive effect on me: during long periods of time, I lacked the zest for life, felt very little pleasure, moved on the verge of depression, and all in all, didn't enjoy my early youth.
The lifestyle I have had up to this day isn't healthy for me as an adult. I do not want this to continue. I have not lived a full life, and looking back on the past years, I can see the severe frustration and emotional pressure I went through despite my best efforts.
I have not been successful in finding and maintaining romantic relationships, and the few people who entered my life left me- or have been left- after a short time for various reasons. The current guy, who has been my best experience so far, is not committed to me. I can not count on him for a long-term relationship, even a casual one. He is now on a trip and I do not even know if our relationship will continue after he returns.
I asked: Why do my relationships die before they start? And I got 20uc. Because I'm too much of an observer?
Then I asked what should I do to remove this obstacle? And I got 26.6>19. Should I give up self-control and dare to pursue my desires?
I asked several times what to do to find a satisfying relationship and got 33 and 9. I do not understand this answer: I have been deprived of a basic need and I can no longer let my quality of life to deteriorate because of this.
What do you think?
I didn't have sex with my previous partner-to-bes & the relationships didn't form anyway.I think iirc 20UC talks about washing something but not giving it in a offering.. you shouldn't perhaps had offered having sex because it was sacrificing something that was unique to you? and probably wasn't the right time you should have comtemplated it before doing it... there is a saying in taoism that by controlling oneself one is more powerful than the adversary.. and 26 isnt about taming impulses anyway?
I didn't have sex with my previous partner-to-bes.It's simple.
Ready to hear it?
20= Look before leaping!
Dating should be a time of 20,
observing and getting to know the other person to see if they are someone worth committing to.
Having sex too early or even telling yourself that you are in relationship=
Leaping without Looking.
you shouldn't perhaps had offered having sex because it was sacrificing something that was unique to you?
The lifestyle I have had up to this day isn't healthy for me as an adult. I do not want this to continue.
just wondering how long that relationship was going? (it will sound a bit harsh but some men probably want sex when dating and one reason might be that one and with this new relationship)I didn't have sex with my previous partner-to-bes & the relationships didn't form anyway.
have you considered that for her it was an experience that changed her live while for any other person it didn't mean the same? for her it was getting out of depression and improving her overall emotional state. so if she had sex with someone who didnt value it as much as her, it isn't worth thinking twice about sacrificing something, think about it someone who is emotionally invested into a relationship and comes from feeling bad then comes someone who gets their hopes up to later find the relationship they might expect isn't the one they might getthis was so far fetched and ridiculous to me, i intended to ignore it, but seeing similar deduction, if not just a prejudice, coming from a long-term Yi and Clarity user i'm in a bit of a shock.
sex is natural and unfortunately not unique, if anything, it's one thing that makes us all human
and on a personal note to marybluesky
"20= Look before leaping!"
where does it say that?
Go and observe, then based on the observation: decide what your doctrines will be.
This is looking before leaping.
have you considered that for her it was an experience that changed her live while for any other person it didn't mean the same?
The current one? We've been sort of friends for 16 months. We didn't see each-other regularly though. We got sexual (lightly) for the first time last year, and I was the one who initiated it, as well as our friendship. There has been no dating phase.just wondering how long that relationship was going? (it will sound a bit harsh but some men probably want sex when dating and one reason might be that one and with this new relationship)
For me having sex is no sacrifice. It's a desire. I like a man, I'm attracted to his body, and if we get along well, I want to have sex with him. No need for deep emotional connection, just some level of comfort & trust.so if she had sex with someone who didnt value it as much as her, it isn't worth thinking twice about sacrificing something,
The empty sex doesn't satisfy me, yes, and I think it's so for many people. It's nice to have a good relationship, it's a need. That said, the sexual attraction is important, and the sexual act is a natural part of a relationships.I infer all this because if she only cared about sex she wouldn't be asking about relationships at all, it would be about living the moment
I agree, unless with the "unfortunately" part.sex is natural and unfortunately not unique, if anything, it's one thing that makes us all human
Thanks for sharing your experience. Different lifestyles have their pros & cons indeed. I hope the same for you.i wouldn't say i had the "opposite" lifestyle but i spent all my younger years in long-term relationships which caused me to lose my own identity and actually confidence in who i am as just me. so to give another or broader perspective (going back to 20) i'd say you may also consider yourself lucky to get to know yourself first, so that now you can meet someone up to your standards. and i hope it becomes true soon!
apologies, had no clue adamant is emotionally charged word and after some googling found the phrase "look before you leap", so things make a bit more sense now oh well, learning everyday. with leaps in judgment i just meant jumping to conclusions regarding the other deleted post.
Can you explain more? How the opposite & complementary hexagrams apply in my situation?so for 20 that would be 19 and 34, for 9 it’s 8 and 16, for 33 - 34 and 19. funny that 19 made it’s way to this thread as a sort of freudian slip, personally prefer jungian psychology, but i guess 19 is worth looking at after all
26.6>11 diamant.Did you get 26.3.6 > 19 or 26.6 > 11?
Can you explain more? How the opposite & complementary hexagrams apply in my situation?
Me? I don't remember having said such a thing.You said you have lost yourself to relationships in the past. Perhaps you were swept away by the strength of your emotions. The storm clouds may be your emotions.
Funny that you think I've never experienced strong emotions; IOW, that you think one is whether swept away by emotions or doesn't experience them at allit’s even more valid, as without that exporence you have no idea how to deal with your emotions (the storm) having never experienced it.
Self-harm wasn't the main point of that thread. It was a very long discussion.You had mentioned in another thread when you were discussing self harm, that you tended to appreciate people in a somewhat superficial way.
Recently, after becoming more intimate with my partner, I realized the importance of a good sex & an OK relationship for my vitality and mental health- something I have been deprived of for much of my life. No need to say, it has had a destructive effect on me: during long periods of time, I lacked the zest for life, felt very little pleasure, moved on the verge of depression, and all in all, didn't enjoy my early youth.
The lifestyle I have had up to this day isn't healthy for me as an adult. I do not want this to continue. I have not lived a full life, and looking back on the past years, I can see the severe frustration and emotional pressure I went through despite my best efforts.
I have not been successful in finding and maintaining romantic relationships, and the few people who entered my life left me- or have been left- after a short time for various reasons. The current guy, who has been my best experience so far, is not committed to me. I can not count on him for a long-term relationship, even a casual one. He is now on a trip and I do not even know if our relationship will continue after he returns.
I asked: Why do my relationships die before they start? And I got 20uc. Because I'm too much of an observer?
Then I asked what should I do to remove this obstacle? And I got 26.6>19. Should I give up self-control and dare to pursue my desires?
I asked several times what to do to find a satisfying relationship and got 33 and 9. I do not understand this answer: I have been deprived of a basic need and I can no longer let my quality of life to deteriorate because of this.
What do you think?
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).