my son

[Hepzibah]

am really worried about my son. its a long story - I won't go into it now.In the height of emotion I asked YI the following question:how to be with this worry..reading: 12.2.5.6 to 40a reading about my son recently started also with 12 and had the same moving line .6. I take this to be encouraging - that things will be overcome..2 - I think means to enwrap and contain the worry?? like a foetus in the womb - which my son was..5 nothing I can do so stop and rest.I would appreciate any guidance anyone can offer please. H

 

[Freedda]

Hepzibah, just a couple of quick question: how old is your son, do you live together? And tell me about any siblings. Thanks, d.

 

[Hepzibah]

freedda, , he is 22, is trying to live away at college but not attending lectures but now wants to live away from home. I feel he is very jealous of his siblings who have the skills of adaptability and resilience that he probably would really like to have. at times I am frantically with worry like this evening when he was here and causing great upset and difficulty . when he is away in the college home town, I spend all my time praying for him and lighting candles in the church but I must admit not having his physical presence in the home here is a relief to me. the other siblings are clearly fed up of him and barely talk to him. he is quite isolated from them but a lot of this was his own making, he is jealous of them and often puts them down.

 

[Hepzibah]

meant this is his third failing college attempt

 

[sylvia1ching]

The question is how do you take/interpret/handle your worry for you son?

Hex 12 STANDSTILL

CHIEN ABOVE movement is up
KUN BELOW movement is down

The preceding HEX 11 PEACE is where HEX 12 is inspired. The idea is that heaven and earth move away from ome another. This causes them to not meet and have their influence on one another create harmony.

There is no relationship between heaven and earth...like you and your some the two of you are moving away from one another in other words there is no communication or communion of thoughts, emotions, or spirit. There is no relating between the two of you at this time. This has caused you to worry ..allows for confusion and concern. At this time you cannot reach him. Your influence and words are not heard. What to do?

It is at this time for you to back off until the right time presents itself for u to approach. He will need to approach you regarding his situation.

Line. 2
You must calmly wait. Even though the answer is apparent to you he is too far away in his own internal conversation he will not allow you to reach him. But waiting is not in idle. You get to meditate on how you have tried to reach him in the past..what has worked and what has not worked. Evaluate what you need to be, how you need to be such that he will let you in. Ir appears what you have done in the past has not been effective.

Line 5
With time Standstill or diversion is losing its strength. There is an opportunity to bring about order..this require you to be the right person with right words and attitude

This is a time for transition as things go from moving away from one another to moving towards one another. Be careful in your thoughts, words, and qctions.

My thought to you is to ask him questions qnd listen. Be open to what he has to say and do not judge. If you come from a place of sincerity qnd understanding you will not be concerned with failure.

You must be very clear and have a vision and intention on how to approach him.

Line 6
Standstill will not last forever. Knowing this put your worry aside and prepare for harmony to return. Create within a vision of possibility and recognize that you have the ability to create change simply seeing him in what it would like for him to be successful. Put into your thoughts positive and welcoming emotions, pictures and intentions. You get to rise up for him when he cannot by recognizing his potential and recognizing the fact that his failure do not define but develop his character if he can see it that way too.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the will to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Set your worry aside because that is about you and focus on loving him, supporting him, and connecting with him. Hold your standards and principles a d present them in away that will have him receive you so that you can support him in changing his course. This does not mean being doormat. It means talking to.him in a way where he understands where you stand and he sees you understand him.

 

[sylvia1ching]

The question is how do you take/interpret/handle your worry for you son?

Hex 12 STANDSTILL

CHIEN ABOVE movement is up
KUN BELOW movement is down

The preceding HEX 11 PEACE is where HEX 12 is inspired. The idea is that heaven and earth move away from ome another. This causes them to not meet and have their influence on one another create harmony.

There is no relationship between heaven and earth...like you and your son the two of you are moving away from one another in other words there is no communication or communion of thoughts, emotions, or spirit. There is no relating between the two of you at this time. This has caused you to worry ..allows for confusion and concern. At this time you cannot reach him. Your influence and words are not heard. What to do?

It is at this time for you to back off until the right time presents itself for u to approach. He will need to approach you regarding his situation or you need to figure out how to approach him the right wY.

Line. 2
You must calmly wait. Even though the answer is apparent to you he is too far away in his own internal conversation he will not allow you to reach him. But waiting is not in idle. You get to meditate on how you have tried to reach him in the past..what has worked and what has not worked. Evaluate what you need to be, how you need to be such that he will let you in. Ir appears what you have done in the past has not been effective.

Line 5
With time Standstill or diversion is losing its strength. There is an opportunity to bring about order..this require you to be the right person with right words and attitude

This is a time for transition as things go from moving away from one another to moving towards one another. Be careful in your thoughts, words, and qctions.

My thought to you is to ask him questions qnd listen. Be open to what he has to say and do not judge. If you come from a place of sincerity qnd understanding you will not be concerned with failure.

You must be very clear and have a vision and intention on how to approach him.

Line 6
Standstill will not last forever. Knowing this put your worry aside and prepare for harmony to return. Create within a vision of possibility and recognize that you have the ability to create change simply seeing him in what it would like for him to be successful. Put into your thoughts positive and welcoming emotions, pictures and intentions. You get to rise up for him when he cannot by recognizing his potential and recognizing the fact that his failure do not define but develop his character if he can see it that way too.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the will to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Set your worry aside because that is about you and focus on loving him, supporting him, and connecting with him. Hold your standards and principles a d present them in away that will have him receive you so that you can support him in changing his course. This does not mean being doormat. It means talking to.him in a way where he understands where you stand and he sees you understand him.

 

[Hepzibah]

Dear Sylvia1Ching,I have taken your response literally every single line and written it out on how both to be with son and to respond to son.It has given me hope, reassurance and strategy.I will update any new developments.thank you for taking the time to respond in such a detailed and unique way.H

 

[sylvia1ching]

I am going to do something for you. I can feel your love for your son and so I want to bring more clarity to you on how to be with your son, support your son, and have him create a new view of himself...maybe knowing what is in his way will support you. You get to hold on to your princples.

 

[Hepzibah]

Thank you so much Sylvia1ching. there is something that comes up time and time again. he wants to be a famous / admired athlete. I suspect the wanting to be 'famous' may be compensating for a lack of self esteem that he feels in life. he is extremely shy and finds social contact difficult. he did commit his entire life to a specific sport from dawn to dusk practising non stop and then in the evening writing out strategies, affirmations, goals etc. as time passed he wasn't winning the competitions and he began to get disheartened and then begin to get stressed during the sport and eventually turned against it. No amount of me saying that its the process not the end result that is important. he couldn't hear me. yesterday again he says that he just wants one thing to pour all his energy passion and talent into in order to be famous / recognised / admired etc. by doing all that you suggested in your post the atmosphere was accepting and he spoke a little. I can see how this black and white thinking can sabotage a person.

 

[sylvia1ching]

I sent you a personal email. I posed a question for you and I tossed the coins . Look at it and tell me what you think.

Is he w soccer player or basketball? I am guessing you do not live in the US..

 

[sylvia1ching]

I sent you a personal email. I posed a question for you and I tossed the coins . Look at it and tell me what you think.

Is he w soccer player or basketball? I am guessing you do not live in the US..

 

[sylvia1ching]

I am so pleased to hear that this interpretation works. I have a more extensive description and an point by point on how to be successful...I will share it with you when I am done. I will send you a hand written document that is very thorough and I hope thought provoking

 

[Hepzibah]

Sylvia1ching I did not get this document but I would really like to.I don't live in US.

 

[Trojina]

Hepzibah you are writing personal information about your family here then putting your email address for everyone to see - so if anyone you know in 'real life' reads this they will know it's you. Better to send your email address privately in a PM to Sylvia or at least delete your address after she's seen it here.

Up to you of course but presumably you want some degree of anonymity here when discussing personal issues about other people in the family. If a friend of your son's just happened to come here what then ?

 

[Hepzibah]

Trojina ie been trying to edit the message to delete but can't delete it - also I don't know PM Sylvia

 

[Trojina]

Actually I think when Sylvia says 'email' she actually means PM, private message on this forum not an actual email to your personal address so if you look in your inbox you might find the information you need without needing to offer your private email address

 

[Hepzibah]

ps can anyone tell me how to delete posts? am trying to delete the post about family and e mail address. the 'edit post' is not working for me

 

[Trojina]

Trojina ie been trying to edit the message to delete but can't delete it - also I don't know PM Sylvia

Then you need to ask Hilary or Rosada to delete it for you

 

[Trojina]

ps can anyone tell me how to delete posts? am trying to delete the post about family and e mail address. the 'edit post' is not working for me

If I tag @hilary; and @rosada; one of them will be able to do it for you

 

[Trojina]

Meantime you can try going to 'edit, then 'delete' in far right and then checking the box on the far left with delete option.


Also meantime it's unlikely anyone you know will see it before it gets deleted so don't panic - I was just worried if you left it there over years....

 

[Hepzibah]

thank you Trojina, all thats happening with the 'edit post' is the the icon is spinning but not allowing me to edit.could Hilary or Rosada please delete the post with info about siblings and the one with e mail address pleasethank youH

 

[hilary]

Email address deleted - was that the only message that needed doing? (Thanks, Trojina, for picking up on this.)

 

[hilary]

To get 'edit post' to work for yourself, right-click (or tap and hold on a mobile device) the 'edit post' link and choose 'open in new tab'.

 

[Hepzibah]

Other post on page one opening with freeda with info on siblings, thank you very much

 

[hilary]

OK, I have edited to generalise the post a bit.

You don't need to worry about being identified online from that kind of information anyway - just think how big the internet is and how many thousands of mothers there must be worrying about their adult sons. It's only when you post something unique to you, like an email address, that there is any possibility someone would recognise you.

 

[Hepzibah]

PHEW ! Thank you very much All !Hepzibah

 

[sylvia1ching]

yeah!

To get 'edit post' to work for yourself, right-click (or tap and hold on a mobile device) the 'edit post' link and choose 'open in new tab'.

Hilary,

that is the way it works! Let me know if Hebizah is successful

Sylvia

 

[Trojina]

Just to mention in case you weren't aware Hepzibah that as you are a member of Change Circle you can tag Hilary or any other member who is also in Change Circle. I came and tagged but didn't need to - it's a bonus of being in CC that you can do it

 

[Hepzibah]

thank you Trojina, my next difficulty is that I haven't a clue how to access Sylvia's PM!!!!

 

[Hepzibah]

I just accessed Sylvia's PM - HAPPY DAYS !!