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Need Interpretation Assistance Please....

MinnesotaZen

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Hello All!

My latest I-Ching has me a bit confused and it's important that I find clarity.

Could you provide your insight?

My question:
What do i do with the situation about my mother?

(Note that it is somewhat unhealthy and toxic.) I'm not sure if I should continue with my relationship with my mother because things she does hurts me deeply. I am very spiritual with a strong relationship to Source, and also an empath. Thank you for your help.

My Reading:
Hexagram 20 Changing to 48

20. Kuan / Contemplation (View)



CONTEMPLATION / LOOKING AT / EXAMINATION
Kuan shows how he whom it represents should be like the worshipper who has washed his hands, but not yet presented his offerings; with sincerity and an appearance of dignity commanding reverent regard.

GREAT SYMBOLISM
The trigram representing the earth, and that for wind moving above it, form Kuan. The ancient Kings, in accordance with this examined the different regions of the kingdom, to see the ways of the people, and set forth their instructions.

THE LINES
The second line, divided, shows one peeping out from a door. It would be advantageous if it were merely the firm correctness of a female.
The third line, divided, shows one looking at the course of his own life, to advance or recede accordingly.
The sixth line, undivided, shows its subject contemplating his character to see if it be indeed that of a superior man. He will not fall into error.
KING WEN'S EXPLANATION OF THE HEXAGRAM
The great manifestor occupies an upper place in the figure, which consists of the trigrams whose attributes are docility and flexibility. He is in the central position and his correct place, and thus exhibits his lessons to all under Heaven.

Kuan shows its subject like a worshipper who has washed his hands, but not yet presented his offerings; with sincerity and an appearance of dignity commanding reverent regard: all beneath look to him and are transformed.

When we contemplate the spirit-like way of Heaven, we see how the four seasons proceed without error. The sages, in accordance with this spirit-like way, laid down their instructions, and all under heaven yield submission to them.

DUKE OF CHOU'S EXPLANATION OF THE LINES
The firm correctness of a woman, in peeping out from a door is also a thing to be ashamed of in a superior man.
He looks at the course of his own life, to advance or recede accordingly: he will not err in the path to be pursued.
He contemplates his own character: he cannot even yet let his mind be at rest.
UPPER TRIGRAM: Sun
CONCEPT: Penetrating, Flexibility
QUALITIES: Yielding, Gentle, Indecisive, Weak, Fragrant, Neat, Obedient, Restless, Excitable, Bland, Mild, Wood, Wind, Close, Pursuit of Gain, Flexible, Pliancy
FAMILY: Eldest Daughter
PART OF THE BODY: Thigh
SEASON: Late Spring, Early Summer

LOWER TRIGRAM: K'un
CONCEPT: Docility, Submissive, Earth
QUALITIES: Passive, Earth, Female, Receptive, Weak, Responsive, Yielding, Devoted, Flexible, Soft, Calm, Wife, Patient, Moderate, Empty, Cowardly, Maternal, Docile, Capaciousness, Submissiveness, Subordination, Compliant, Caldron, Obscure, Sustaining Power
FAMILY: Mother
PART OF THE BODY: Stomach
SEASON: Late Summer, Early Autumn


48. Ching / The Well



ATTACHED TO / THE CLINGING / FIRE
Looking at Ching, we think of how the site of a town may be changed, while the fashion of its wells undergoes no change. The water of a well never disappears and never receives any great increase, and those who come and those who go can draw and enjoy the benefit. If the drawing have nearly been accomplished, but before the rope has quite reached the water, the bucket is broken, this is evil.

GREAT SYMBOLISM
The trigram representing wood and above it that for water form Ching. The superior man, in accordance with this, comforts the people, and stimulates them to mutual helpfulness.

KING WEN'S EXPLANATION OF THE HEXAGRAM
We have the symbol of wood in the water and the raising of the water; which gives us the idea of a well. A well supplies nourishment and is not itself exhausted.

The site of a town may be changed, while the fashion of its wells undergoes no change: this is indicated by the central position of the strong lines in the second and fifth places.

The drawing is nearly accomplished, but the rope has not yet reached the water of the well: its service has not yet been accomplished. The bucket is broken: it is this that occasions evil.

UPPER TRIGRAM: K'an
CONCEPT: Peril, Difficulty, Dangerous
QUALITIES: Peril, Difficulty, Moon, Enveloping, Dangerous, Cunning, Deceitful, Aimless, Clever, Wise, Sad, Harmless, Melancholy, Depressed, Rain, Disturbing, Hidden, Concealed, Anxiety, Distress of the Mind, Abysmal
FAMILY: Second Son
PART OF THE BODY: Ears
SEASON: Winter

LOWER TRIGRAM: Sun
CONCEPT: Penetrating, Flexibility
QUALITIES: Yielding, Gentle, Indecisive, Weak, Fragrant, Neat, Obedient, Restless, Excitable, Bland, Mild, Wood, Wind, Close, Pursuit of Gain, Flexible, Pliancy
FAMILY: Eldest Daughter
PART OF THE BODY: Thigh
SEASON: Late Spring, Early Summ
 
M

mirian

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My question:
What do i do with the situation about my mother?
20.2.3.6 > 48

The Yi is not really telling you *what to do" but rather is asking you to reflect on the whole situation to get a better understanding of what seems to be an abusive relationship (based on your post).

Line 2 - You still don't fully understand the situation, at the moment you can only see parts of it. So most of time you are just having an emotional response (feeling hurt).

Line 3 - It is your decision what to do about it. You may decide to work on this relationship to make it better or you may decide to get away from it, to keep it at distance. There's no right or wrong.

Line 6 - This is the highest point of contemplating, when you really get the big picture. So you detach yourself emotionally to get more clarification of the whole situation: your mother's actions/personality/motives, the dynamics of the relationship between you and her, your own place in this scenario.

As you can see, this is not as simple as saying "do this or do that" but it is about getting the whole situation clear for yourself, so you can make a decision once and for all. Hope that helps :bows:
 

MinnesotaZen

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Thank you so much for your response.

I suppose when I am unsure what to do, the best thing to do is to do nothing - to do the status quo. I somehow need to learn how to not be so sensitive and not let the things she does and says affect me so much to the point where my heart hurts. How in the world do I get to this point? How do I detach emotionally?

I want to do the right thing. Always.

I feel very alone at this point. Again, thank so very kindly for your response and insight.

Peace and love,
Deborah
 

radiofreewill

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Hi MinnesotaZen,

My reading is that you are being called on to exert spiritual leadership ~ real transformation ~ on behalf of yourself and your mother, and, by extension, all beings.

Here's the situation:

The Washer Machine Drawing

You and your mother are currently 'in the washer machine' on the left hand side together ~ historically entangled in a co-dependent relationship, which you are experiencing as toxic, and that you wish to change for the better: "What do i do with the situation about my mother?"

The Yi, imho, is saying that if you can get to the image on the right hand side, then your mother will follow your leadership and join you there ~ hence, changing the dynamic for the better. This transformation will not only work for your relationship with your mother, but can be generalized to all relationships.

Here's my take on the Yi's guidance:

Kuan (20) ~ the ideal meditation posture for Pure Presence ~ Observing "things as they are" ~ empathy originating in Source ~ which leads to True Compassion:

Line 2 ~ a failure to observe correctly ~ you are grasping and dwelling on objects in the stream of your thoughts ~ objects like your mother, the hurtful things she's said, past memories, etc ~ and thereby reanimating the hurt all over, again. This is you reflexively, electively, habitually, jumping into the washer machine, on cue, to validate your story about you and your mother. It is this act of grasping and dwelling that redirects your Source-based empathy (which is stable and insightful) through the filter of your perceived self-interest (which you know as emotional ups and downs) and results in the toxic experience of cyclic suffering.

Line 3 ~ observing correctly ~ from the terrace of the dharma, Kuan, you watch the stream of your thoughts and are neither attached nor indifferent to the Objects you see ~ knowing that everyone, including your mother, no matter how good or bad it may look, is doing the best they can ~ and allowing yourself to do the 'right' thing effortlessly.

Line 6 ~ Knowing the difference, in real life, between the mundane state of grasping and dwelling on objects in the stream of your thoughts and Pure Presence ~ and choosing wisely from moment to moment.

In this way, through correct observing, you will lift yourself out of the washer machine ~ like working a rope and bucket at a well ~ only *without* using your hands ~ to find the stable and clear ground of Peaceful Presence ~ showing your mother the Way by your example ~ and bringing about real transformation.

I think you would find 'The Untethered Soul' by Singer to be very helpful.

Many Blessings!
 
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mirian

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I suppose when I am unsure what to do, the best thing to do is to do nothing - to do the status quo. Deborah

Hi Deborah,

I don't think that your reading is saying to do "the status quo" at all. I would suggest you to read the interpretations above again. I do know how difficult it is to deal with abusive relationships within the family. If you think that you cannot cope with this I suggest you to seek help and support.
 

MinnesotaZen

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Thank you

Hi MinnesotaZen,

My reading is that you are being called on to exert spiritual leadership ~ real transformation ~ on behalf of yourself and your mother, and, by extension, all beings.

Here's the situation:

The Washer Machine Drawing

You and your mother are currently 'in the washer machine' on the left hand side together ~ historically entangled in a co-dependent relationship, which you are experiencing as toxic, and that you wish to change for the better: "What do i do with the situation about my mother?"

The Yi, imho, is saying that if you can get to the image on the right hand side, then your mother will follow your leadership and join you there ~ hence, changing the dynamic for the better. This transformation will not only work for your relationship with your mother, but can be generalized to all relationships.

Here's my take on the Yi's guidance:

Kuan (20) ~ the ideal meditation posture for Pure Presence ~ Observing "things as they are" ~ empathy originating in Source ~ which leads to True Compassion:

Line 2 ~ a failure to observe correctly ~ you are grasping and dwelling on objects in the stream of your thoughts ~ objects like your mother, the hurtful things she's said, past memories, etc ~ and thereby reanimating the hurt all over, again. This is you reflexively, electively, habitually, jumping into the washer machine, on cue, to validate your story about you and your mother. It is this act of grasping and dwelling that redirects your Source-based empathy (which is stable and insightful) through the filter of your perceived self-interest (which you know as emotional ups and downs) and results in the toxic experience of cyclic suffering.

Line 3 ~ observing correctly ~ from the terrace of the dharma, Kuan, you watch the stream of your thoughts and are neither attached nor indifferent to the Objects you see ~ knowing that everyone, including your mother, no matter how good or bad it may look, is doing the best they can ~ and allowing yourself to do the 'right' thing effortlessly.

Line 6 ~ Knowing the difference, in real life, between the mundane state of grasping and dwelling on objects in the stream of your thoughts and Pure Presence ~ and choosing wisely from moment to moment.

In this way, through correct observing, you will lift yourself out of the washer machine ~ like working a rope and bucket at a well ~ only *without* using your hands ~ to find the stable and clear ground of Peaceful Presence ~ showing your mother the Way by your example ~ and bringing about real transformation.

I think you would find 'The Untethered Soul' by Singer to be very helpful.

Many Blessings!

Oh my goodness. That was greatly insightful.
I have tried to establish positive, healthy boundaries with my mother but that hasn't worked.

I will purchase 'The Untethered Soul' today. Thank you for the recommendation.

I do need to understand that I am not my emotions. I have a very loving heart and I feel greatly, however with the good comes the curse of being hurt. And when I hurt, every cell of my body hurts.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond to my interpretation request.

Deborah
 

MinnesotaZen

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Thank you Mirian. I read the interpretation again and understand a bit better. I am new to the Yi so please excuse my ignorance. :)

Yes, I am no stranger to seeking help. Thank you.
 

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