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ecovibrant

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Hello everyone. I have been a bit of a spy of this community the past few days... and having just recently discovered Iching i have been doing Iching penny toss after toss, question after question. I've just discovered the I-ching and am not sure if this is against "protocol" so to speak...

There was a way that I acted, towards my ex partner, where I was almost entirely the one in the wrong. I behaved from a place of mental and spiritual scarcity. We are in the same creative profession, I attacked him and his work with a collaborative partner, because of jealousy.. because of feelings of "not enough."

Our relationship died. We were together for 9 months.. and we held a lot of love. It was incredibly deep, and connected.. until the monsters ate us up. And ate me up.
We broke up last September, almost a year now.

We have seen each other several times, and though the anger and hurt has receded.. he wrote that he cannot be close to me. He wants to stay open to me, but he cannot be close to me.

I have since sent him countless emails, and the overwhelming response has been.. silence. I have come to expect that, through my emails I have tried to show how much I have understood the toxicity of scarcity..

I broke his trust. I understand. And all of my appeals to try slowly to rebuild have been rejected
((there were many mistakes and miscommunications in the aftermath of the break up, as well.))

And so the readings.

Now, i've done alot of readings. a LOT. more then I care to admit. I've been using the ichingonline.net for interpretations.. as well as hunting through the pages of this rich community.

The readings answers seem to be very contradictory. Sometimes it gives no after no (as I interpret it) othertimes it seems to imply that after this period of silence, renewal can come.

READINGS:

Have I lost X?
Hex 38 Unchanging

If I work with Integrity on all planes, can X and I reconcile?
Hex 43 breakthrough into Hex 50 Cauldron

How can I lead this period of alienation between X and I to reconciliation?
Hex 1 -> Hex 64
changing lines 1, 3, 5

Will a time come when X will return to me?

Hex 12 -> Hex 18
Changing lines 2,3,4,5

Will Love return to grace the relationship between X and I?
Hex 49 -> Hex 26
changing lines 2, 4, 5, 6

Is it too late for calculated waiting with X, or can our paths still unite?
Hex 27 -> Hex 31
changing lines 1,3,4,5,6

I don't know if i "burned the coins" so to speak by tossing them so much....

thank you all... I apologize if I have bombarded you. Any responses I am very grateful for.

And hello. :+)
 

ecovibrant

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I just read the sticky-post about relationship questions..... I clearly, have not done right by the i ching.. I wish I would have read that earlier... not sure if it makes all of these readings false. I woudn't mind erasing them all and starting over.. step by step.... question by question... word by word....:+)
 

ecovibrant

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OK. having followed the advice, and just asked a single question, verbatim from that post:

‘What kind of relationship could X and I create here? What’s the potential?‘

Hex 30 ->Hex 55
changing line 6

Ignoring all of the other readings then,
how would this be interpreted regarding reconciliation ?

thank you. Thank You in advance.
 
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Hex 55 is about a pinnacle, a climactic point, also about judgments, punishments, and things unseen, but can be a time of plenty, almost too much... It is also the "sun at midday," the point at which the sun starts it's downward descent. And hex 30 is clinging fire, so has to do with the substance your emotions burn on perhaps. And 30 is also about clarity. Shedding light on the situation. Line 6 shows the leader being decapitated and the captives shown mercy. I think this is saying once you deal with the real problem, the others won't be so much of an issue. I'm not sure how this relates to your question or situation. It is hard to say for sure. What do you think? I don't this this is saying the relationship you can create. Divination just doesn't work that way. Sounds like what you really wanted to know was if you are wasting your time, if there is hope there, or what you should do about this relationship... I would read this as general advice regarding the relationship or a general picture of the scenario here. There is unfinished business maybe here, and line 6 shows a core issue being addressed. With 30 to 55 I'm guessing you might not know what that is. But with the external situation involving an eclipse, and the advice involving clarity, I'd venture there is something here that you are unclear about... I don't recall any experience with this line I can relate to you though. Sorry.
 

ecovibrant

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Sounds like what you really wanted to know was if you are wasting your time, if there is hope there, or what you should do about this relationship... I would read this as general advice regarding the relationship or a general picture of the scenario here. There is unfinished business maybe here, and line 6 shows a core issue being addressed. With 30 to 55 I'm guessing you might not know what that is. But with the external situation involving an eclipse, and the advice involving clarity, I'd venture there is something here that you are unclear about...

yes, I definitely lack clarity. I am unclear on his choice, I am unclear on why he wrote he can't be close to me. I wrote to him " I don't understand." and he wrote back "I want to give you the explanation you deserve"..... and, he has never given it. Maybe it is lack of clarity on his part, he essentially I believe feels he had to sacrifice us for the sake of his creative partnership that is now finding success. I have tried to explain that so much of my behavior was colored by inwards, constricted energy. I've had my own revolution about understanding scarcity thinking vs. abundance, ego object thinking vs. spirit consciousness being... its been a huge revolution, and if our relationship was the price of my understanding.. i guess it is what i must accept, and be thankful for.

But i genuinely feel our story isn't over. and moreover, that it doesn't have to be over. That there are other, better, choices.

After an hour of meditation last night and setting my intentions by the full Moon, I did several readings :

"When we have both passed this current test of Spirit, will Love infuse the space between X and I again?"
Hex 55 Abundance-> Hex 53 Gradual Progress
Changing Lines 1,4,5,6

"What is the best attitude to take to the relationship with X?"
Hex 56 Wanderer -> Hex 28 Critical Mass
Changing lines 2, 5, 6

This one scared me a bit, the Critical Mass. Should I be expecting a very harsh communication in response?

"Will X see that abandonment is not the only choice for our relationship?"
Hex 18 Repairing damage -> Hex 1 Creative Activity
changing lines 1, 4, 5

What does X feel about me?
Hex 8 Bonding -> Hex 23 Splitting Apart
changing lines 5,6

I believe that colors the trajectory of his feelings-- from us being very close, to him feeling he must break the connection.

and finally,
"What must I do for reconciliation with X?"

Hex 60 -> Hex 9
Changing Lines 3, 6

I understood that as cutting off all communication, stopping the emails (I already have done that) and essentially accept this current silence, and take it for a bridge and not a road ending, or a road ending, in order for a new road...

"Don't try to force things. Relax, let go, and trust the Infinite Intelligence to bring things to pass in the right way at the right time."

so... trust the Universe and stop begging to the I Ching? :+) regardless of whether or not, we reconcile...

there's so much as stake here. A dear friend, someone who is a loyal and committed partner, an amazing artist, I am losing part of a community by us having this split... and losing him due to the error of my ways, has been an albatross around my neck for the past year.
 

ecovibrant

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And sorry you are grieving as well:(

thank you. my level of compassion for the mistakes and pain of others has greatly increased, through this experience...

as well as understanding and feeling forgiveness for those who have done wrong.

ego consciousness vs. spirit consciousness....

"forgive them, for they know not what they do."

I've never been religious, and I understand that line on such a deep level now.
 

ecovibrant

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just found this re: line 6 of hex 30:
The Chinese character for ‘Clarity’ shows a bird and a net: the bird of omen, and the moment when you capture it and ‘get the message’. But the hexagram’s theme is not just the flash of insight, but also the sustained light of awareness, and the capacity to sustain it. It’s constancy that bears fruit, not just the ‘aha!’ moment itself.
Line 6:

‘The king makes good use of marching out,
There is a triumph.
He executes the chief, the prisoners are not so loathsome.
Not a mistake.’

You cannot spread light to the extremes without having to deal with darkness. To take charge like the king, you need absolute clarity on exactly what is and is not the problem to deal with. If you handle the leading issue, the rest is likely to sort itself out. It’s not good to get caught up in the details and let your decisiveness be sidetracked and diluted into general, ineffective aggression. This is the Clarity looking towards Feng (Hexagram 55), the royal garrison city where the king takes on his role amidst an Abundance of potential allies and enemies.

the whole situation has been about me dealing with my darkness, and thus understanding on a whole new depth the darkness that all people can fall into-- the darkness of the ego, and how malicious and twisting it becomes. and how false.

maybe it is saying, that constancy of action and thought, and the sustaining of the higher awareness state of being, will lead to the right actions..?
 

ecovibrant

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fascinating, I asked
How must I behave for X to feel the potential of bonding again?

I got: Hex 10 changing lines 5, 6 Hex 54 A loveless marriage

Then I asked, is there any path left open for reconciliation with X?
And i got
Hex 36 Eclipsing the Light, changing line 3, into Hex 24 Return

is this about me only, my own journey, or could it be read in relation to my former partner?
 

ecovibrant

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I apologize for the bombardment of questions/readings. I thank you for the responses given, and find a real help the various answers and postings in this community.
 

pedra

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Hi. I am sorry you are going through all of this and I am happy you found the Yi. I know the feeling of having a million things rushing through the mind and wanting an answer for all of them. I can sympathize with the urge of throwing the coins over and over in search of an answer, when what I need is a quiet heart and guidance. So when I feel that way I know am scattered. That's when I try to stop. And instead of throwing the coins electronically (which happens really fast) I sit down, and throw the actual coins. These are the times when I ask the Yi "How do I calm my heart?" And then I throw the coins and write down each line, and watch them become a trigram then the hexagram (s). Usually, not only does the reading guide me in the right direction, the process itself helps me slow down and look at the big picture as it emerges? I wish you peace and love and the patience to allow the path to unfold as it should and the clarity to recognize it.
 
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I don't know what your readings mean, but I can say my own personal experience is that men are not worth this kind of energy expenditure.
 

ecovibrant

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thank you for your response. Yes, patience and clarity.... hey! :+)

Interestingly, I had a Tarot reading yesterday, and though this situation wasn't the focus of the reading, one of the questions i asked at the end of the reading was

"I know that I have reaped what I sowed with my former partner, and that I did a lot of wrong. I accept this. This loss has been very deep and I am having trouble getting through it. My question is, the energy I have been putting forth into correcting both myself, and the situation-- is it felt, and is it helping to make things right.. or is it hopeless?

She pulled out 2 cards (of an unfamiliar deck, so I didn't actually know the cards) and her answer was
"There has been a lot of things that happened between you both, a lot of unnecessary things, yes, a lot of bad things... but yes, there is a silver lining to do this dark cloud. Your efforts are not in vain"

And so this morning, i cast a question (with real coins, yes :+) and I asked

"What is the silver lining of the dark cloud between X and I?"

and i got

Hex 61 Inner truth

changing line 1 into

hex 59 Dissolution

The dispersion of my own divisive ego is the work I have been doing, seeking to bridge the divide within myself, that ruined our relationship, and damaged my own participation in a beautiful community that I love, and that also hurt incredibly deeply the man i love....

from the darkness, into light.

Now it is the task and challenge, of having faith and trust, and patience, regardless of outcome.

http://the-iching.com/hexagram_59_to_hexagram_61

Hex 59:
Religious forces are needed to overcome the egotism that divides men. The common celebration of the great sacrificial feasts and sacred rites, which gave expression simultaneously to the interrelation and social articulation of the family and state, was the means of employed by the great ruler to unite men. The sacred music and the splendor of the ceremonies aroused a strong tide of emotion that was shared by all hearts in unison, and that awakened a consciousness of the common origin of all creatures. In this way disunity was overcome and rigidity dissolved. A further means to the same end is co- operation in great general undertakings that set a high goal for the will of the people; in the common concentration on this goal, all barriers dissolve, just as, when a boat is crossing a great stream, all hands must unite in a joint task .

Indeed.
 

Rci028

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Asking a million questions about a situation like this will not give you what you're looking for. Ask once for advice and follow it. The outcome of the relationship was largely determined before you and your partner met. It may be possible to reunite in the short term but the long term relationship will continue to follow the lines of fate determined from the initial movement.
 
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svenrus

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I think that if one really believes in the advice given by I Ching only one reading can do it for the rest of your life.
OK, quite theoretical.... (But just to clarify what's been mentioned lastly )
 
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