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blueflower

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Hello,
Am new to posting, but I have been a fly on the wall so to speak here.
Am at a crossroads with my boyfriend. He has asked me to move in with him, and am scared...hahah
I need to make a decision as to leave or go forth with this relationship.
We have been dating a year now, had a few trust issue's in the past. But I do love him and we get along great!
I asked 3 questions.
to move in.... 58.6

not to move in 59.1

can I trust him
50 1.2.3
I have been reading, but my mind is to much a blurr and need some help.
Can you give me some insight?
Thank you so much before hand.
 

willowfox

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Don't move in with him as you will have problems further down the road when his true nature comes out.
 

willowfox

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Thank you.. I will study it

Yes, I think you need to. Living with someone 24/7 will be very different from occasionally meeting him for a drink, bit of fun or whatever.

Line 58.6 is advising you not to get swept into this "deal" so to speak while Hex 10 is a further warning of "things" to come which you may not know about lover boy.
 

blueflower

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Hi, well we have been dating for a year... and of late we have been sort of liveing together. He is here everynight.. but I think its the mindset.. that we both still have seperate places to go.
Am worried about the trust issues... he does have a tendency to flirt to the point of getting him in trouble. Its almost like an adiction to facebook...
Still trying to study 58.6
 

gato

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Hello,
Am new to posting, but I have been a fly on the wall so to speak here.
Am at a crossroads with my boyfriend. He has asked me to move in with him, and am scared...hahah
I need to make a decision as to leave or go forth with this relationship.
We have been dating a year now, had a few trust issue's in the past. But I do love him and we get along great!
I asked 3 questions.
to move in.... 58.6

not to move in 59.1

can I trust him
50 1.2.3
I have been reading, but my mind is to much a blurr and need some help.
Can you give me some insight?
Thank you so much before hand.

there is no telling to move or not to.... it's a very seductive opportunity ( good fortune or not is not specified in this line ) according to 58.6 and you must decide in your heart first (59.1)

50.1.2.3 if you asked the questions one after another this one will further clear the moving subject and is not an answer for your trust question. ( wait, think about it, clear your motives ) ... he will not be very happy about this but do not worry.

and excuse wf she sees every man on this planet as "a pig covered with dirt". me included.
 
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willowfox

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and excuse wf she sees every man on this planet as "a pig covered with dirt". me included.

Not really but anyway, lets get serious.

Line 58.6 is not a line in her favour at all, as it suggests that she only wants to please her bf by saying yes, and therefore will suffer when things go wrong. Its like trying to prove that you are truly one of the gang, even though in your heart you have reservations but you just cannot resist the temptation.
That leads to Hex 10 which indicates a difficult person to deal with and the only way is to appease him by giving in.

At the end of the day blue must decide, but she seems to want to do this against her better judgement.
 

blueflower

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wHOA... I almost fell out of my chair reading this!!! Willowfox, you are truely amazing!
Am not ready to move in... not really. I care deeply for this person, we get along great, but just not ready yet. He is pressureing me to move in when my house sells, and just to scared right now.
He is difficult, It seems like he has this certain way in his brain how things should go, or what I should say.. very sensitive when I do not say the right words or act.. he gets hurt easily.
Right now... I would be saying yes, in order to not to lose this relationship with him.
I asked another question
Why am I so afraid to move in with him Hex 1 unchanging
lol... to much energy... maybe I need to go to the club and work it off.Stop worry about the outcome and just relax a bit. Just enjoy my day with him, because if I don't it will cause tension between us.
 

willowfox

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You don't trust him, and you certainly could never control him if things got awkward, shall we say, between you while you were living together.

Hex 1 is pure fire, and that makes him dangerous as fire will burn, so it will be you that gets the fallout if and when things go wrong as they surely will. It also shows a restless, unpredictable and impulsive nature. Fire also equates with passion, a good lover but one who never stays still, like some teenage trophy hunter always with his eye on someone else.
 

gato

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hex 1 unchanged is the Yi way to tell you: think. be creative.
 

ginnie

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to move in.... 58.6
"Shows the pleasure of its subject in leading and attracting others." Who is this line referring to?
Actions speak louder than words when it comes to love.

Didn't you ask your questions in full sentences?

not to move in 59.1

"Act promptly to reconcile the differences which have arisen."

But this doesn't say whether to move in or not to move in. It says to reconcile your differences.

can I trust him
50 1.2.3

Turn the vessel of the relationship upside down in order to throw out the conflicts that you've allowed to accumulate in there. That's just a lot of old garbage! This has the potential to be a good relationship.
 
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ginnie

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He is difficult, It seems like he has this certain way in his brain how things should go, or what I should say.. very sensitive when I do not say the right words or act.. he gets hurt easily.
Right now... I would be saying yes, in order to not to lose this relationship with him.

Since you are not always sure what you want and what you think, it sounds like he supplies the certainty. It's a complementary relationship, in other words.

If you secretly resent the ways he is 'difficult,' then you must indeed feel conflicted.

The first moving line you received in H50 was 50.1 -- and that would involve dealing with the issues that up until now have been swept under the rug.
 
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ginnie

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Hexagram One. He's got a very powerful creative energy.

Don't just be swept away by circumstances. He may be quite a dynamic man, but he can't make you move in with him if you don't want to do that, Flower.

If you really don't want to move in with him at this time, tell him so!
 

willowfox

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If you really don't want to move in with him at this time, tell him so!

No! Find a sensible excuse why you can't move in with him, as I think being blunt is not the way to deal with Mr.Flame.
 

blueflower

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Well now.... there seems to be a maggot hanging around me... geez
I found out that he acually is meeting someone from his past tonight.
He called and said he need some sleep... geez..
I guess now.. I will not be moving in with him.
Now to figure out how to approach this situation with him got 5 2.5.6
Am not very proud.. and I know it was wrong.. but my gut was really telling me something.. so i checked his phone and saw the text that they were meeting for a drink after work.
He is coming over to my house.. after his "sleep tonight."
 

blueflower

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If this was happening to a friend.. I would tell her to dump him.. but its not so easy when its happening to you and you love them... lol
I had to ask another question.... what is his intent towards her... got 12 1.5 .6
maybe its just wanting to see an old friend from high school and not wanting to upset me.
Really trying to hold myself together... I just want to go.. and bust him..lol
 

ginnie

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Now to figure out how to approach this situation with him got 5 2.5.6

Is that 52 with lines 5 and 6 both moving?

Hexagram 52 advises you to still yourself, still your words, still your whole self.
 

blueflower

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Update

Well, the saga has ended.
I ended up confessing my spying and appoligized.
But, I end the relationship pernamenty.
I feel saddeness and relief at the same time, but know in my heart it was the best thing to do.
After talking with him... he said he made the date after I had reservation about moving in with him... said I hurt him and so that is why.
Well, blaming me for this action was not an option..
Time to move on...
Thank you for all your insights, in time I will go back and read.. to try and understand them all.
 

willowfox

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I had to ask another question.... what is his intent towards her... got 12 1.5 .6

No school friend this, this was a proper date, the guy was after the "bird in the bush" with an intent to seduce her, Hex 55.
 

blueflower

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Ya... I know. Am holding to my decision to end this now and for all... feel sad and relief
Now , I really need to understand myself. I beleive every experience has lesson in life.

What do I need to learn from this experince ? 17.4
lol... studied this.
Seems I loved the attention. whated so badly to have a relationship and closeness.
He is someone who flatters EVERYONE! The more he flattered me, giving me all his positive messages ,the more I forgave and overlooked the flaws. But after awhile, it became exhasting, he also expected me to keep up my flattering back... I was becoming to see him as needy and insecure.
My gut.. did'nt tho. It was always telling me... hey!! yoo hoo.. something is not right here!!
It was when my friends and family started talking to me.. when I started to listen and seeing.
Am really ashamed of spying... but do not regret.
 

willowfox

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What do I need to learn from this experience ? 17.4

It says that you are to blame because you let him "grow" on you, you accepted his flattery and BS, even when you saw that he was being dishonest with you, you know the flirting and stuff.

You need to learn that it is better to be alone than have this type of creep, creeping around and lying. That flattery is basically just empty words that make you feel good temporarily, well until the next incident. Next time look for a guy you can genuinely trust, and not a flash talking charmer whose primary aim is to control you.
 

blueflower

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To funny... I needed and deserved that lashing!!
And you are sooooo right.
Thank you Willowfox for your direct and to the point reading here...
I love your Non- sugar coated replys. Somethimes that is just what someone needs to see the truth.
 

moss elk

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Just got a 50 1.2.3.
Didn't want to start a new thread but I'll describe things here.
My question was about a budding potential relationship.
Phrased, "what about this...now?"

50: Position yourself correctly...
Line 1- get rid of this person, another is more suited for all that the 'role' requires.
Line 2- a Rival exists (yes, I've seen him)
Line 3- yes, you started something with good intentions, but it's just not going to work, do something else.

(21) Decide and be done with the matter.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it before,
It felt like a subtle tension preventing progress.
Now I feel a release of that tension, like a soft rain.
The air smells fresh.
Not looking for advice.

:bows:
 

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