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Non-romatic relationship reading

TwoGeese

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I feel like I come over here too much and ask for help without really giving back- I feel to new to be able to offer anything right yet so I hope you all don't mind...

A little background: I have this person in my life (not an ex or anything of that nature) the relationship got really intense a few years back and there were too many people involved making it messy and painful. I walked away and I know at the time that was the best thing for everyone. Time has past and I feel like it might be time to open the door to communication some.
Here are the questions I asked the Yi:
1.Your advice on the relationship with JR? 42.6 >3
2.What if I left JR alone? 21.6 >51
3.What if I try to contact JR? 3.1.5 >2
What does it mean?:
1.This relationship was a blessing- but many people have been hurt maybe even physically- emotions are too fluid and unreliable (I might walk away again or JR might) Not a good way to go. Make myself stronger first before reaching out.
2. This one is a bit confusing to me. I need to chew through the hard stuff (my hard stuff) but I am not listening (changing line) a shock will come that will start a new way of being????
3.There is a beginning here but I need to protect myself- make sure I am in a good space- baby steps????
I am WAY to invested in this. Any help would be much appreciated. Please be as honest.
Thank you. :bows:
 

kkappa

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I feel like I come over here too much and ask for help without really giving back- I feel to new to be able to offer anything right yet so I hope you all don't mind...

A little background: I have this person in my life (not an ex or anything of that nature) the relationship got really intense a few years back and there were too many people involved making it messy and painful. I walked away and I know at the time that was the best thing for everyone. Time has past and I feel like it might be time to open the door to communication some.
Here are the questions I asked the Yi:
1.Your advice on the relationship with JR? 42.6 >3
2.What if I left JR alone? 21.6 >51
3.What if I try to contact JR? 3.1.5 >2
What does it mean?:
1.This relationship was a blessing- but many people have been hurt maybe even physically- emotions are too fluid and unreliable (I might walk away again or JR might) Not a good way to go. Make myself stronger first before reaching out.
2. This one is a bit confusing to me. I need to chew through the hard stuff (my hard stuff) but I am not listening (changing line) a shock will come that will start a new way of being????
3.There is a beginning here but I need to protect myself- make sure I am in a good space- baby steps????
I am WAY to invested in this. Any help would be much appreciated. Please be as honest.
Thank you. :bows:

Hmm, I think it still looks like a pretty messy situation, regardless of what happened a couple of years ago. Most of all, without going into details because you understood the essence of the castings quite well by yourself, I am getting the feeling that some new piece of information is coming your way (or is already there?) which you are closing your eyes or ears to, and that you should gather around people who could help you reconnect with this person, but without you having to directly poke him. There should be a general confidence in you/him/this relationship before the two of you can start talking again. Looks like there were a lot of people involved, eh?
 

TwoGeese

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Hmm, I think it still looks like a pretty messy situation, regardless of what happened a couple of years ago. Most of all, without going into details because you understood the essence of the castings quite well by yourself, I am getting the feeling that some new piece of information is coming your way (or is already there?) which you are closing your eyes or ears to, and that you should gather around people who could help you reconnect with this person, but without you having to directly poke him. There should be a general confidence in you/him/this relationship before the two of you can start talking again. Looks like there were a lot of people involved, eh?

Thank you so much for your response. It definatly feels really messy. I am not sure what the information would be that I am not seeing (obviously I am not seeing it...)- perhaps another question for the Yi??? I know that I need to feel more confident in my choices- lots of self forgiveness before I can open up. I don't have any ideas just yet where I can go for help but I will sit with it awhile.
Oh SO many people involved... About 7 infact... No wonder it feels messy... :-/
 

ginnie

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I'll quote a little bit from Thomas Cleary on that 42.6 you got:

"Do not increase something so much that it might be attacked. When you set your mind to something, do not be so persistent that it leads to bad luck ... "

Seems to me that the I Ching is warning you off contacting him. If it was messy and still is messy, maybe the best thing would be to leave the whole thing alone.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi kimbenes7,

1.Your advice on the relationship with JR? 42.6 >3
Nothing good can come out of a relationship where one of the people involved only takes and cannot give anything back. A one-sided relationship.

2.What if I left JR alone? 21.6 >51
Someone will never learn their lesson, no matter what is said or done. Hence, any bad luck will come to them as a complete surprise, because they are in denial. This could be you, or JR. My guess is, it's the same person as above, who only takes and never gives.

3.What if I try to contact JR? 3.1.5 >2
He will not answer immediately, then he will answer something small/insubstantial, and that will all.

I'm sorry to be blunt and give a negative interpretation, but truly this is how it sounds to me. I hope you find much better friendship situations in the new year!
 

TwoGeese

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I'll quote a little bit from Thomas Cleary on that 42.6 you got:

"Do not increase something so much that it might be attacked. When you set your mind to something, do not be so persistent that it leads to bad luck ... "

Seems to me that the I Ching is warning you off contacting him. If it was messy and still is messy, maybe the best thing would be to leave the whole thing alone.

Yes, this feels right. I need more time- he needs more time. I will just work with me and leave it alone for now. It will come up again I am sure of it. Thank you very much- very helpful.
 

TwoGeese

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Hi kimbenes7,

1.Your advice on the relationship with JR? 42.6 >3
Nothing good can come out of a relationship where one of the people involved only takes and cannot give anything back. A one-sided relationship.

2.What if I left JR alone? 21.6 >51
Someone will never learn their lesson, no matter what is said or done. Hence, any bad luck will come to them as a complete surprise, because they are in denial. This could be you, or JR. My guess is, it's the same person as above, who only takes and never gives.

3.What if I try to contact JR? 3.1.5 >2
He will not answer immediately, then he will answer something small/insubstantial, and that will all.

I'm sorry to be blunt and give a negative interpretation, but truly this is how it sounds to me. I hope you find much better friendship situations in the new year!

I am completely comfortable with blunt. I really appriciate it. Negative is ok too. :) It's the truth.
1. I think that he is the one that is taking without giving back- I have been guarded in the past but I have tried to be honest in all our interactions.
2.Trying to be honest with myself- I might be the one in denial but I don't think so- it feels more like it is him.
3. This is exactly what happened the last time... Except he initiated the connection. I responded same day and I never heard back.:confused:
Thank you so much for your interpretation. It's exactly the way it is.
 

TwoGeese

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I am getting the feeling that some new piece of information is coming your way (or is already there?) which you are closing your eyes or ears to,

This felt important to me so I asked the Yi: What is the information that I am not seeing with re: to JR? 58.3.4.5 >11
let's see...
I am wanting to communicate or at least make it open so he feels free to communicate when he is ready- I am basing my happiness on whether or not he "likes" me- that is ugly to admit. I need to stay open (not shut down) on my end and not try to make him agree with me. I need to rein in my desire to be 100% honest with him (it will only hurt him and me in the long run). We will not agree on A LOT of things it is best to keep things to myself- he might use what he learns against me as some point.
This looks to be really ugly relationship at this time. I will not communicate with him but the situation as it is will eventually come up again.
Did I read this right?
 
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kkappa

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This felt important to me so I asked the Yi: What is the information that I am not seeing with re: to JR? 58.3.4.5 >11
let's see...
I am wanting to communicate or at least make it open so he feels free to communicate when he is ready- I am basing my happiness on whether or not he "likes" me- that is ugly to admit. I need to stay open (not shut down) on my end and not try to make him agree with me. I need to rein in my desire to be 100% honest with him (it will only hurt him and me in the long run). We will not agree on A LOT of things it is best to keep things to myself- he might use what he learns against me as some point.
This looks to be really ugly relationship at this time. I will not communicate with him but the situation as it is will eventually come up again.
Did I read this right?

It does look very ugly and I really can't see what there is to gain for you in this friendship. Trust that when you leave this person or this group be, you are making room for people who appreciate you for who you are and with whom you won't even need to have questions like these. That last bit is more of an advice from person to person :) But anyway, let go of him and all of this and you will attain peace (11) and things will flow the right way again.
 
M

mirian

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This felt important to me so I asked the Yi: What is the information that I am not seeing with re: to JR? 58.3.4.5 >11

Dear kimbenes7,

Here is my experience with your reading.

58.3 - Expecting happiness and/or pleasure from the wrong source. A sense that "something is missing" leading to wrong decisions. This is not the solution.

58.4 - Time to decide what you really want from relationships. Time to recognise what is good for you and what is not. The choice is yours.

58.5 - Some influences can be much more destructive than you think, don't underestimate their negative effect. You might be more vulnerable than you think.

Hope that helps:bows:
 

long yi

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Hexagram 51 refers to a triangle. This means one on two, not a single male and female situation.
Whatever the real situation presents, there is one losing party. One party is not available. Good friendship at a restricted level.

Hexagram 3 means that a person has chemistry with another in a triangle relationship. The relationship is beyond friendship, but non-spousal. There is mutual respect for the status. Eventually, the non-spousal female friend has to be move on. The man also moves on. This friendship is based on certain common interest, and actually non-sexual. Both sides are bound by their current positions. It is only good for second marriages, and provided that all obstacles can be overcome. The two parties met too late because one cannot be available.

Hexagram 2 is a six conflict hexagram. Three pair of lines (1/4, 2/5. 3/6) are in conflict. For relationship analysis, even if one is receptive, there is no immediate or medium term results.

I did not look deeper into a six line analysis. The conclusion is a bit sad. If you remove all restrictions around your friend (assume he), you two do have certain common visions and happy times if you are allowed to laugh, joke and go out for a walk. However, no one wants to be the third party because the female has common sense and respect for certain parties in this complex situation.

In life, we do not always get what we wanted....
However, one can walk away to meet someone else who is available, although perhaps inferior at the first outcome, the other person is more than OK later on.

If you need further analysis, post a reply. I have pieced a picture based on your three hexagrams. That type of analysis is more time consuming.
 

TwoGeese

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It does look very ugly and I really can't see what there is to gain for you in this friendship. Trust that when you leave this person or this group be, you are making room for people who appreciate you for who you are and with whom you won't even need to have questions like these. That last bit is more of an advice from person to person :) But anyway, let go of him and all of this and you will attain peace (11) and things will flow the right way again.
Thank you. You are very correct here. I have decided to leave it alone. There is nothing good or helpful here. Thank you for your insights. :bows:
 

TwoGeese

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Dear kimbenes7,

Here is my experience with your reading.

58.3 - Expecting happiness and/or pleasure from the wrong source. A sense that "something is missing" leading to wrong decisions. This is not the solution.

58.4 - Time to decide what you really want from relationships. Time to recognise what is good for you and what is not. The choice is yours.

58.5 - Some influences can be much more destructive than you think, don't underestimate their negative effect. You might be more vulnerable than you think.

Hope that helps:bows:

Huge help- thank you. I am not going to bang my head against this wall any longer. Thank you for your insights VERY helpful. :bows:
 

TwoGeese

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WOW!- let me address each of these.
Hexagram 51 refers to a triangle. This means one on two, not a single male and female situation.
Whatever the real situation presents, there is one losing party. One party is not available. Good friendship at a restricted level.
Yes- this is true 3 main characters.

Hexagram 3 means that a person has chemistry with another in a triangle relationship. The relationship is beyond friendship, but non-spousal. There is mutual respect for the status. Eventually, the non-spousal female friend has to be move on. The man also moves on. This friendship is based on certain common interest, and actually non-sexual. Both sides are bound by their current positions. It is only good for second marriages, and provided that all obstacles can be overcome. The two parties met too late because one cannot be available.
Yes- this is very acurate- he is not available at all. Very complicated. :-/

Hexagram 2 is a six conflict hexagram. Three pair of lines (1/4, 2/5. 3/6) are in conflict. For relationship analysis, even if one is receptive, there is no immediate or medium term results.
This happened in the past- he had e-mailed me- I responded and then nothing.


I did not look deeper into a six line analysis. The conclusion is a bit sad. If you remove all restrictions around your friend (assume he), you two do have certain common visions and happy times if you are allowed to laugh, joke and go out for a walk. However, no one wants to be the third party because the female has common sense and respect for certain parties in this complex situation.
So true. I will not mess up what he has- if he wants a relationship with me it will have to be when he is much older.

In life, we do not always get what we wanted....
However, one can walk away to meet someone else who is available, although perhaps inferior at the first outcome, the other person is more than OK later on.
Walking away is the best choice for me. Well I have walked away-so I guess not reconnecting is the best option.

If you need further analysis, post a reply. I have pieced a picture based on your three hexagrams. That type of analysis is more time consuming.
Oh my- you don't have to do that. This is really great as is. I must say I am sad about the outcome but I can accept it for what it is.
Thank you so much for insights. :bows:
 

meng

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I feel like I come over here too much and ask for help without really giving back- I feel to new to be able to offer anything right yet so I hope you all don't mind...

A little background: I have this person in my life (not an ex or anything of that nature) the relationship got really intense a few years back and there were too many people involved making it messy and painful. I walked away and I know at the time that was the best thing for everyone. Time has past and I feel like it might be time to open the door to communication some.
Here are the questions I asked the Yi:
1.Your advice on the relationship with JR? 42.6 >3
2.What if I left JR alone? 21.6 >51
3.What if I try to contact JR? 3.1.5 >2
What does it mean?:
1.This relationship was a blessing- but many people have been hurt maybe even physically- emotions are too fluid and unreliable (I might walk away again or JR might) Not a good way to go. Make myself stronger first before reaching out.
2. This one is a bit confusing to me. I need to chew through the hard stuff (my hard stuff) but I am not listening (changing line) a shock will come that will start a new way of being????
3.There is a beginning here but I need to protect myself- make sure I am in a good space- baby steps????
I am WAY to invested in this. Any help would be much appreciated. Please be as honest.
Thank you. :bows:

Hi kim,

"Do nothing" - is what I get from compiling your readings.

42.6 - to not (try to) bring increase - is Yi's advice, that you'd asked for in your question. Maybe that'll bop his head from behind.

3 is a critical time, make it or break it. Winter is especially tough on sprouts. Water them and they freeze, don't water them and they dry up. So work with what the time provides. Have respect for earth, using heaven's time. (hmh, think I'll post that to another thread, on 49)
 

TwoGeese

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Hi kim,

"Do nothing" - is what I get from compiling your readings.

42.6 - to not (try to) bring increase - is Yi's advice, that you'd asked for in your question. Maybe that'll bop his head from behind.

3 is a critical time, make it or break it. Winter is especially tough on sprouts. Water them and they freeze, don't water them and they dry up. So work with what the time provides. Have respect for earth, using heaven's time. (hmh, think I'll post that to another thread, on 49)

Thanks meng,
I will "do nothing". I will not hold my breath either. :)
 

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