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Not seriously dating until 30s 22.4.6>55

Vaseline

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Through a series of events in the past year and some months, I've been dealing with issues revolving romance where I'm seeking too much from the outside and not letting myself grow under the circumstances of walking through life alone. Recently broke up with ex and I'm thinking of not seriously dating until I'm in my 30s now which will be a few years away.

There was a huge conglomerate of issues that I had dating this year and some months, which could be due to the pandemic. I'm seeing I'm a big fish in a little pond of options and I've kept getting rejected or rejecting people I've dated.

I asked Yi of how my former relationship would go and correctly it predicted that even though his feelings appear sincere, he isn't entirely acting on authenticity as much as I believed. Fortunately i was feeling the same too with my feelings not being really there, so its not that the whole process hurt as of recently as much as it was a sign for me.

So i asked Yi, how would it go if I just focus on myself and not seriously date until my 30s and i was presented with 22.4.6>55.

Is this particularly auspicious to follow through on my thoughts?
 

WanderingRaven

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Not a complete reading, but a few things jumped out at me:

The changing lines at 4 and 6 both speak of being dressed or adorned in simple white garments, and this being appealing. The commentary explores this further, from 4:

"Wilhelm/Baynes: Grace or simplicity? A white horse comes as if on wings. He is not a robber, he will woo at the right time."

"Wing: You have a choice of two paths. One is the path of adornment and external brilliance; the other is the path of simplicity and inner worth. Your considerations suggest a deeper connection with your true Self. The path of simplicity will lead to more meaningful relationships with others and greater self-knowledge."

From six:

"Wing: You can rely now upon the sincerity of your true nature to supply your external radiance. Pretensions, form, and adornments are no longer necessary to achieve your aims. Simplicity is the path you must take. In this way you will make no mistakes."

I would take this as suggesting you focus on your inner worth, developing yourself, rather than trying to actively shine on others by seeking a partner.

Hopefully others will provide more insight.
-WR
 

redoleander

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This might be a bit of an unusual take on this one but I think it could be suggesting that this is a fantasy in the sense that love/dating/sex will always be complex and there may not be a time when seeking out a really ideal, romantic love (line 4), navigating endings or vulnerability (Line 6) won't involve an abundance of "stuff" to deal with (55). So, now or later, you'll be navigating similar things. It doesn't mean you have to date right now but maybe use a more intuitive and natural way of deciding; perhaps the ideal or fantasy you hold will arrive, I actually think it will... it just feels like a balance of holding that full, beautiful standard for romantic love while also knowing that your hands can't and won't stay totally clean in pursuit of that, whether it's now or later. May need for flexible and fluid boundaries around the how or when. The clearer and purer you get in the sense of being with your own nature (I think line 6 is about that but both speak to it), the easier to recognize what's aligned with your spirit based on knowing and feeling (not rules)
 

Vaseline

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Not a complete reading, but a few things jumped out at me:

The changing lines at 4 and 6 both speak of being dressed or adorned in simple white garments, and this being appealing. The commentary explores this further, from 4:

"Wilhelm/Baynes: Grace or simplicity? A white horse comes as if on wings. He is not a robber, he will woo at the right time."

"Wing: You have a choice of two paths. One is the path of adornment and external brilliance; the other is the path of simplicity and inner worth. Your considerations suggest a deeper connection with your true Self. The path of simplicity will lead to more meaningful relationships with others and greater self-knowledge."

From six:

"Wing: You can rely now upon the sincerity of your true nature to supply your external radiance. Pretensions, form, and adornments are no longer necessary to achieve your aims. Simplicity is the path you must take. In this way you will make no mistakes."

I would take this as suggesting you focus on your inner worth, developing yourself, rather than trying to actively shine on others by seeking a partner.

Hopefully others will provide more insight.
-WR
Thanks for reading into my question and giving a response!

This may be correct as I've had readings that have simply stated to wait and just focus on the daily tasks and responsibilities of my day while maintaining myself. Instead of waiting to go back in at a time i think is opportune, i think just simply being myself and focusing on myself will be the key.
 

dfreed

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how would it go if I just focus on myself and not seriously date until my 30s and i was presented with 22.4.6>55.

In one way I think you are describing a 'retreat' from dating (until a specific date). I see retreats in two ways: one is to retreat from some outside danger - like hiding in a storm cellar until a tornado has passed; another type of retreat is where we withdraw from the 'outside' world so we can explore our inner world.

With Hex. 22 you have trigrams (three-line figures) Light below and Mountain above. I see this describing your 'dating retreat' - where you are seeking clarity and safety (Light) by retreating (being within Mountain). Another function of trigram mountain is the idea of looking back, into one's past - so you can then decided what aspects of yourself and your life you want to carry into the future; and this very much reminds me of what we do on retreat and also in therapy.

In your case, you want to make sure you are doing the correct retreat for what you need - sort of like the adage 'use the right tool for the job' that we were taught in shop class.

With the two moving lines (22.4 and 22.6) Mountain becomes Thunder (55's upper trigram).

My understanding is that this is advising you to retreat - and not just hide - so you can eventually act in a way that is clearer and in tune with what you want and need. In the cosmology of the Yi, Thunder represents spring, new beginnings and perhaps seeing things in new ways; and it follows Mountain.

Line 22.4 reads, "Fancy and fair; white horse and mare - no thieves here, only a wedding pair" (trans. Rutt). It reminds me of the idea of being discriminating, of seeing things clearly so you can make make good /clear choices.

Line 2.6 is, "Trimmed in white; no harm will come." One association with the 'color' white is about purity; here however, I think it's about making a new, fresh start, like putting on a freshly-cleaned white shirt or blouse. I also see 'trimmed' as describing Hex. 55 - where because of your retreat you now have the white light of clarity and protection (Hex. 55's lower trigram Light); which informs 'white lightning' - taking action (Hex.55. upper trigram Thunder).

And as Merle Haggard once sang, to act (and date) from a place of clarity and safety (and new beginnings) means that: "white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all."

As to the timing of your retreat - I understand setting a specific date, perhaps, in part so you don't flack out or give up too soon - you want to give it the proper time to work. But I would advise being a bit flexible: in affairs of the heart we sometimes want to set firm dates - like when we get married, but you also don't know ahead of time when you will learn the lesson you need to, so you may end up ending your retreat soon or later than you are planning to.

Best, D
 

Vaseline

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This might be a bit of an unusual take on this one but I think it could be suggesting that this is a fantasy in the sense that love/dating/sex will always be complex and there may not be a time when seeking out a really ideal, romantic love (line 4), navigating endings or vulnerability (Line 6) won't involve an abundance of "stuff" to deal with (55). So, now or later, you'll be navigating similar things. It doesn't mean you have to date right now but maybe use a more intuitive and natural way of deciding; perhaps the ideal or fantasy you hold will arrive, I actually think it will... it just feels like a balance of holding that full, beautiful standard for romantic love while also knowing that your hands can't and won't stay totally clean in pursuit of that, whether it's now or later. May need for flexible and fluid boundaries around the how or when. The clearer and purer you get in the sense of being with your own nature (I think line 6 is about that but both speak to it), the easier to recognize what's aligned with your spirit based on knowing and feeling (not rules)
Thank you for reading into this and giving me a response!

I also think this is the case too. There is no certain date where things are ripe in my question i guess. It all comes down to development of myself and I'm not sure how long I'll be doing that, but i shouldn't be focusing on the time. For more context, the reason I stated 30s is because i also study astrology and it appears extremely opportune of a time that I can turn back into dating. Probably I'll be more equipped. Or probably waiting will only extend time to the things I'll need to eventually learn anyhow.
 

WanderingRaven

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V,

I'm glad that helps, and I wish you the best in undertaking a very worthy journey of growth. As someone who has walked a little further down that road, I would suggest that there are a lot of good people who can give advice on how to do this well. For my part, I have greatly benefited from the writings of Howie Reith, who has a lot of practical advice on how to pursue relationships while maintaining your own inner peace, center, and ethics.

However your path unfolds, may the stars and the Yi illuminate your way forward, and bring you romance when it is right for you.

-WR
 

Vaseline

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V,

I'm glad that helps, and I wish you the best in undertaking a very worthy journey of growth. As someone who has walked a little further down that road, I would suggest that there are a lot of good people who can give advice on how to do this well. For my part, I have greatly benefited from the writings of Howie Reith, who has a lot of practical advice on how to pursue relationships while maintaining your own inner peace, center, and ethics.

However your path unfolds, may the stars and the Yi illuminate your way forward, and bring you romance when it is right for you.

-WR
Thanks you again. I'm a woman and I see that Howie Reith is more catered towards men so I'll have to look further into him to be sure his work is applicable. Any books on gaining self worth is awesome too if you have any suggestions! But I'll keep an eye out for any advice from users here
 

Vaseline

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In one way I think you are describing a 'retreat' from dating (until a specific date). I see retreats in two ways: one is to retreat from some outside danger - like hiding in a storm cellar until a tornado has passed; another type of retreat is where we withdraw from the 'outside' world so we can explore our inner world.

With Hex. 22 you have trigrams (three-line figures) Light below and Mountain above. I see this describing your 'dating retreat' - where you are seeking clarity and safety (Light) by retreating (being within Mountain). Another function of trigram mountain is the idea of looking back, into one's past - so you can then decided what aspects of yourself and your life you want to carry into the future; and this very much reminds me of what we do on retreat and also in therapy.

In your case, you want to make sure you are doing the correct retreat for what you need - sort of like the adage 'use the right tool for the job' that we were taught in shop class.

With the two moving lines (22.4 and 22.6) Mountain becomes Thunder (55's upper trigram).

My understanding is that this is advising you to retreat - and not just hide - so you can eventually act in a way that is clearer and in tune with what you want and need. In the cosmology of the Yi, Thunder represents spring, new beginnings and perhaps seeing things in new ways; and it follows Mountain.

Line 22.4 reads, "Fancy and fair; white horse and mare - no thieves here, only a wedding pair" (trans. Rutt). It reminds me of the idea of being discriminating, of seeing things clearly so you can make make good /clear choices.

Line 2.6 is, "Trimmed in white; no harm will come." One association with the 'color' white is about purity; here however, I think it's about making a new, fresh start, like putting on a freshly-cleaned white shirt or blouse. I also see 'trimmed' as describing Hex. 55 - where because of your retreat you now have the white light of clarity and protection (Hex. 55's lower trigram Light); which informs 'white lightning' - taking action (Hex.55. upper trigram Thunder).

And as Merle Haggard once sang, to act (and date) from a place of clarity and safety (and new beginnings) means that: "white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all."

As to the timing of your retreat - I understand setting a specific date, perhaps, in part so you don't flack out or give up too soon - you want to give it the proper time to work. But I would advise being a bit flexible: in affairs of the heart we sometimes want to set firm dates - like when we get married, but you also don't know ahead of time when you will learn the lesson you need to, so you may end up ending your retreat soon or later than you are planning to.

Best, D
Thanks so much for the insight, dfreed.

I thought for so long I knew who I was, and I probably I do- but it occured to me that i just go with the wind in relations instead of going through what I want. It's a constant battle of the need for attachment vs. the need for the self. I want to go through and obtain the needs for myself and focus on loving myself. So this interpretation is helpful because I can have clarity on the right kind of retreat.
 

redoleander

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Thank you for reading into this and giving me a response!

I also think this is the case too. There is no certain date where things are ripe in my question i guess. It all comes down to development of myself and I'm not sure how long I'll be doing that, but i shouldn't be focusing on the time. For more context, the reason I stated 30s is because i also study astrology and it appears extremely opportune of a time that I can turn back into dating. Probably I'll be more equipped. Or probably waiting will only extend time to the things I'll need to eventually learn anyhow.
Makes sense! I will say, I once received this casting when asking what someone felt for me (which some say you shouldn't do but I actually think Yi will answer this, depending on the spirit of the question.) She was really in love with me (still is, in fact, haha) and definitely sees me in a very goddess-like way. I think this casting can be very magical, perhaps a little too good to be true some would say, but if you keep your feet on the ground I think it's an experience worth having. So, I think love is on the other side for you.
 

WanderingRaven

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Thanks you again. I'm a woman and I see that Howie Reith is more catered towards men so I'll have to look further into him to be sure his work is applicable. Any books on gaining self worth is awesome too if you have any suggestions! But I'll keep an eye out for any advice from users here
That's a great point, and I respect that women and men often have different struggles in dating, and face different challenges. The two pieces of advice I got from him that really helped me, and which speak to the concerns you have shared on self confidence and balancing self and relationships are:

1. How to ground your sense of self in pursuing your goals and living in accordance with your personal ethics.

2. How to shift your view of dating from "I need you to say yes so we can do this awesome activity together that will bring us joy and fulfillment" to "I am going to go do this awesome, joy and fulfillment bring activity, whether I am alone, with you, or with people I meet there. Would you like to join me?"

The first is all about finding your sense of self, so your worthiness as a person is not reliant on who is next to you, the second, how to seek out joy, growth, and fulfillment so that you are blossoming, whether with someone, alone, or meeting compatible strangers.

Regardless of what paths you walk, and which voices inspire you, I wish you well on your journeying :)

-WR
 

Vaseline

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Makes sense! I will say, I once received this casting when asking what someone felt for me (which some say you shouldn't do but I actually think Yi will answer this, depending on the spirit of the question.) She was really in love with me (still is, in fact, haha) and definitely sees me in a very goddess-like way. I think this casting can be very magical, perhaps a little too good to be true some would say, but if you keep your feet on the ground I think it's an experience worth having. So, I think love is on the other side for you.
That's very positive and that's great that you found someone that is so fond of you. :)

Well, I guess by then I'll have the proper self love and worth whenever someone comes my way.
 

Vaseline

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That's a great point, and I respect that women and men often have different struggles in dating, and face different challenges. The two pieces of advice I got from him that really helped me, and which speak to the concerns you have shared on self confidence and balancing self and relationships are:

1. How to ground your sense of self in pursuing your goals and living in accordance with your personal ethics.

2. How to shift your view of dating from "I need you to say yes so we can do this awesome activity together that will bring us joy and fulfillment" to "I am going to go do this awesome, joy and fulfillment bring activity, whether I am alone, with you, or with people I meet there. Would you like to join me?"

The first is all about finding your sense of self, so your worthiness as a person is not reliant on who is next to you, the second, how to seek out joy, growth, and fulfillment so that you are blossoming, whether with someone, alone, or meeting compatible strangers.

Regardless of what paths you walk, and which voices inspire you, I wish you well on your journeying :)

-WR

These pieces of advice I will definitely take with me. I'll listen hard on those 2 and work on myself and my highest excitements.

What's really coincidental with this is that I asked Yi as well if I'll ever find a relationship that I want and I was presented with 5.6>9 right after I received the main hex in question. I guess the responses here are the 3 helpers described in the hex. 😆

Nonetheless, thanks again. Everyone has such good advice and interpretations- I'll definitely be mindful and think back to this thread.
 

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