of course a relationship question. 36.5.6 > 37

[pearl17]

hi yijing friends,

i met a man 10 years ago and was in a relationship with him for 5 years. it was a very turbulent one where we broke up and got back together many times -- love was never the issue, but youth, integrity, and lies were. i truly believed that he was my soulmate. i would have true dreams about him and have a deep deep connection with him. but we were in different places in life, so we finally broke up for good and i moved far away. it was devastating. over the next 5 years, i was able to forgive him and we slowly slowly came back into each others' lives as friends and i saw him a few times. we had other relationships. i finally came to terms with the fact that we would never be together. i recently saw him (for the first time we were both single) and we had a major heart reconnection and something even more shocking -- possibility. we could both see our future together (something i could never do when we were together before). it seemed like we had both changed and a life together was possible. but then i went home and since then it feels like everything has fallen apart. when we talk about it, he has a very hard time expressing his feelings and eventually can't talk about it anymore. i can feel him going further away again. this doesn't feel as devastating as last time. i am open to things still working out, but i also know that i can be happy without him, although i am not sure how to have such a deep relationship with someone who is not my partner.

anyway. during this whole journey, the yi has been my faithful friend and companion. i recently asked about guidance in this situation, and it gave me 36.5.6 >37. i don't want to harbor false hope -- i would rather just accept what is real and true, even if it is painful, so i thought i would ask for some other perspectives by people far more experienced and insightful than me. any thoughts would be most gratefully appreciated!

(a few other readings i have recently received:
how do i improve communication between us? 24 unchanging
what can i do that is the most in alignment with the highest good in this situation? 47.1.2 >17
how can i best approach things with him? 39.4.5 > 62)

 

[taoscopy]

i recently asked about guidance in this situation, and it gave me 36.5.6 >37


You can see it yourself, you are moving from a situation of isolation to a situation where you become close together.

The advice as I see it is that you need to refrain from hiding your feelings.

Line 5: hiding your feelings, or him hiding his feelings

Line 6: move that idea of hiding feelings out of your reach.

37: maintain contact with him

To confirm or invalidate my interpretation I suggest that you ask this follow-up question about line 6: what is rising?

36 - Adversity

One isolates themself to correct the situation.

5 - One does not unveil themself to help others.

6 - One sees the other rising so they move quickly out of their reach.
In the making
37 - Relatives

One nurtures their relationships by maintaining contact.

how do i improve communication between us? 24 unchanging

I would say admit your errors, the comment says something like "Look at what you've done!" but it's not necessarily negative you can also look at the positive things that you have brought to him.

Return to see him is also an obvious interpretation.

24 - To return

One returns to see the results of their action.

what can i do that is the most in alignment with the highest good in this situation? 47.1.2 >17

This one is also interesting, transitioning from embarrassment to fun, laugh at your embarrassment maybe?

47: stop justifying yourself?

line 1: this line represents you but it's about him who cannot express his feelings I guess, you don't see him expressing his feelings so you feel like everything has fallen apart.

line 2: in line with the suggestion 24, return to see him, make a surprise visit maybe?

17: a surprise visit would cheer him up, hence 17

47 - The embarrassment

Circumstances or appearances play a negative role. Justifying oneself is useless, one will be understood later.

1 - One abandons their affairs for a time because they see nothing.

2 - One was expecting nothing, when an unexpected visit occurs that will allow to review their judgment.
In the making
17 - To guide

When one rejoices others, they join with them.

how can i best approach things with him? 39.4.5 > 62

39: You need to solve problems (39) about going out (62) It's tricky because it can be going out to visit him or going out of the relationship.

line 4: about you waiting for him? His availability?

line 5: When can you visit him?

62: check before going out, decide when you can visit each other or alternatively decide if you want to stop this relationship.

39 - Uncertainty

Solving a difficulty requires a patient study. If one fails, they will receive help after showing that they have done their best.

4 - Others are not there so one has to wait for them.

5 - Problems that cannot be solved alone, one receives a visit when they needed it.
In the making
62 - Exit

One checks before going out.

 

[moss elk]

39 is not about solving problems.
(Except one)
It is about banging your head on a brick wall,

Then saying, "oh, look what I'm doing!"

Then ceasing to bang your head and doing something else.

 

[Tim K]

Hi Marley, I agree with Moss Elk here, I don't see anything positive in your readings.

36.5 Oppression [from tyrannical ruler].
47 Exhaustion/Oppression from outside circumstances.
17 Give up trying to control things, instead follow the circumstances.

39 Obstruction, and 62 can't do much in the outer world.

Blocks and exhaustion everywhere, and 24 - return to yourself.

 

[rosada]

I got this in my mailbox this morning:

"Ever had the feeling when you meet someone and you are sure you were lovers in a past life and then after 2 weeks you realize why you haven't kept in touch for 2,000 years?"

 

[moss elk]

Good one.

 

[pearl17]

i'm so sorry for this delayed response on my part.. i was in a process of grieving this relationship and working to truly accept what you were all saying. thank you all so much for your time and input!

i am happy to say that with a little/lot of extra help from one of the members, i was able to see the truth of this situation with incredible clarity and let any desire for a relationship with this man go -- finally and with confidence -- after 10 years of wondering. and now, i feel incredibly FREE! i am ever grateful to this community and the yijing.