Ominous warning about friend? 63.4>49

[galatea11]

Hello,

A formerly close friend began behaving oddly toward me at the end of 2013. Basically, it seemed like he had become extremely resentful of me although I don't quite know why. I started keeping my distance but he has persistently continued to contact me, mostly via text message. In recent weeks we began corresponding more often and it felt like the good old times until he sent me a rude response to a fairly innocuous question that I had asked him. About an hour ago I asked the I Ching for guidance on whether I should simply start avoiding this person altogether. I received 63.4>49. Line 4 seems kind of ominous to me, almost as if this person may potentially cause a great deal of harm if I don't handle the situation correctly. Am I overreacting?

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help me with some insight

 

[anemos]

seems there are aspects in this relationship that made you keep trying but , as you said, there are some problematic ones. The fact that previous misunderstanding and the reason he is resentful to you , are not clear make me think there is a communication issue. In my experience , this line is a reminder to be careful and carefully assess a situation. H49 is a rich hex- well all of them are- and among other things here could mean the second chance you give to that relationship. You know better the specifics of this friendship but seems it needs a new way to relate- the change of government. The question imo, is "is that possible ? "

Best of luck

 

[galatea11]

Hi Anemos,

Thank you very much for your response. I will reassess the situation. Last night I felt quite strongly - not for the first time - that the friendship was over. His occasional bitter, nasty comments upset me but I I have never actually expressed that other than to temporarily freeze him out with silence. Part of me resents the idea that I should even need to address the issue at all. Sorta makes me feel like I am falling into the role of being his mother or his schoolteacher but maybe the I Ching is once again prodding me to improve my attitude and myself.

Thanks again. Much appreciated!

 

[Liselle]

Conveniently, there was a thread on 63.4 earlier this month.

People discussed what the line, and the silk in it, doesn't mean, as well as what it might mean. I don't know if it will apply to your reading at all, but it was quite interesting.

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?18707-63-4-and-the-uses-of-silk

 

[galatea11]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you very much!

 

[galatea11]

Greetings,

Thought I would update this thread because I appreciate it when other people do that. I had received 63.4 when inquiring as to whether I should start avoiding a close friend who had begun behaving very nastily toward me (although these occasions were interspersed with some good times too.) For another year after receiving 63.4 I did maintain some semblance of a friendship with this person. In hindsight I probably should not have bothered because he just became increasingly angry and bitter. Ultimately the friendship completely disintegrated even though I did confront him about how his attitude was affecting me. As Wilhelm states about 63.4: "The finest clothes turn to rags." Basically, that line sums up the devolution of our friendship.

 

[Liselle]

Thank you for updating, Galatea. Do you have any idea what happened to cause this? I don't mean you have to tell us, am just asking if you know. It seems really sad.

But it's a good example of 63.4.

 

[cjgait]

Thank you for updating, Galatea. Do you have any idea what happened to cause this? I don't mean you have to tell us, am just asking if you know. It seems really sad.

But it's a good example of 63.4.

I would be particularly interested if alcohol was involved. It often cause personality changes (the term 'nasty drunk' is a cliche). Also, when I took the date you originally asked I found the Plum Blossom hexagram 54, combined with 63 that gives us one of two verses in the Forest of Changes. The one for 63 - 54 sounds like it might be apt (54 - 63 is a very positive verse):

63 - 54

Drinking to get drunk,
A fight breaks out.
The older brother is injured, the younger brother dies.
This ends with a funeral for the eastern neighbor.

Totally unscientific, but I am always looking for little coincidences when using the Forest and the Yi.

 

[galatea11]

Hello,

Wow! The verse from the Forest of Changes is very interesting, Cjgait. For nearly 25 years I worked in the nightclub industry - drank very heavily during many of those years - and I met my friend at one of the last clubs I ever worked at. Suffice it to say that he and I did a lot of drinking together. In 2013 I retired from the industry and from that point forward would generally only drink a few times per month. His heavy indulgence remained consistent and, not totally sure of it, but I suspected that he may have started to develop a reliance on illegally obtained prescription drugs around this time. Don't believe that alcohol was the basis of his anger but maybe other drugs were a factor (?)

Lisa, I still wonder about the demise of that friendship. Some things remain unclear to me but I do recall precisely when everything changed between us. In March 2013 I learned that I needed surgery for a medical issue which would also involve cosmetic reconstruction. My insurance company considered this a "hybrid" procedure and would pay only for the medical aspect of the surgery and not cover any cosmetic reconstruction. I began working with a vengeance and by November 2013 had enough money to pay for the cosmetic portion of surgery. My friend knew I had money saved and began sweating me to give him a short-term loan. He claimed that he had a gambling debt and that a loan shark was after him. I declined to loan him the money because:

a) I wasn't sure that I believed the loan shark story.
b) My surgery was scheduled for the last week in November and I really needed that money.
c) I was going to lose my health insurance policy at year's end so rescheduling the surgery was not an option.

In the aftermath he and I never really discussed my decision not to loan him the money but things were a bit strained. In retrospect I can see that our friendship simply never recovered from that.

 

[Liselle]

Well then clearly we'll blame the %&*# insurance company.

49 as the relating hexgram (background, context) probably shows this was an organic, unavoidable sort of change, the kind of thing that happens just by advancing through life. People have seen 49 refer to puberty, changes in life direction ("one chapter closes, another begins") and so forth.

Thank you for sharing the story with us.

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi galatea11,

It looks like you did the right thing!

For 63.4 > 49, Joey Yap's "Plum Blossom Divination" says:

General Luck: "It would be best for one to remain moderate and judicious. Avoid blowing one's money on speculative investments. Be careful of potential monetary losses. It would be best to spend one's money very carefully and with much thought. It is highly advisable that one avoids traveling to places with water, as otherwise there could be a potential accident."

Health: "Where health is concerned, one should be careful of potential kidney problems, heart attacks, eye-related diseases, and potential burns. Where possible, one should seek medical attention towards the Southeast sector."

Relationships: "Both parties in this relationship will often fall into arguments, which will cause extreme tension in the relationship that could lead to a potential break up."

Career and Wealth: "One should be careful of potential monetary losses. It will be best to be conservative with one's decision, and to think twice before making one's move."

Thanks for updating!

 

[thisismybody]

Thanks for the update. Not much of a friend you had there. He probably had a drug problem and spent his rent and owed past dues, so he thought he'd use you. How devilish that he had the audacity to ask for hard-earned money you saved to have a medical procedure done. Thank goodness for that 49. A bridge in need of burning.

It's sucks that some cliches and stereotypes are true. Addicts are often liars, cheats, and thieves. Maybe not all at the same time. Maybe so.

If I knew you, I'd say I was proud of you for denying him. To hell with his anger and resentment!

 

[Wyndham]

Hi galatea11,

In retrospect the following commentary by LiSe makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

6 at 4: Among the pretty clothes are outworn ones. All day long on guard.
Who has an open eye for signs of decay, even when everything seems fine, can remove them, or he can foresee hard times and future disasters, and eventually avert them.
(Changes to hex.49)

Glad you got through it all relatively unscathed and hope you have plenty of pretty clothes to wear.

 

[thisismybody]

Btw, I got this answer when I asked if I should drive to San Francisco to see my friend in July instead of flying.

No way will I drive now! 2000 miles one way is plenty of distance to turn to rags!

 

[galatea11]

Hello,

Sorry for the delay in responding. I had surgery earlier in the week. The past 2.5 years have been rife with medical procedures and big changes. Comment from ThisIsMyBody really resounds with me: "Thank goodness for that 49. A bridge in need of burning." Everything does seem remarkably clear in hindsight right now - I should have terminated friendship in question long before I did. As with most people that friend had some great qualities mixed in with the bad but he had started to become rather opportunistic when it suited him. Last I heard he had moved into the home of a mutual acquaintance who has a long history of using crystal meth. I do hope that he will eventually create a healthier environment for himself.

Big thanks to Lisa, RadioFreeWill, ThisIsMyBody, and Wyndham for your supportive feedback and insightful commentaries. Seems that the I Ching gave me some stunningly precise advice regarding this situation. ThisIsMyBody, I would react exactly the same way to your recent 63.4 reading

 

[thisismybody]

You're welcome, galatea11.

I just read radiofreewill's Plum Blossom for general luck:

It is highly advisable that one avoids traveling to places with water, as otherwise there could be a potential accident.

Well sonuvagun!
Thank you all for this thread!

 

[galatea11]

Hello,

Glad this discussion helped you make a sound decision, Thisismybody. I don't want to stretch this thread into infinity, especially since it has been going for 2 years, but something interesting just happened. Generally I consult the I Ching for a daily reading - no specific question, just to receive a bit of wisdom to propel me through the day. Yesterday I received 8.3 ("The wrong person to accord with.") I declined an invitation to meet with a friend who was visiting town and was still feeling a bit cautious this morning when another friend wanted to get together. When I asked the I Ching whether I should meet up with the second friend I received 63.4>49 (subject of this whole thread.) For the record I am not a very social person and do not usually receive a lot of invitations. Upon receiving 63.4 I felt a big knot of worry/ persecution building inside my stomach - "Why, oh why is the I Ching telling me to avoid all my friends??" I thought to myself, ready as usual to hyper-analyze the situation. As I reached for something on my desk I somehow upended a glass jar which contains a bunch of work supplies. Magnifying glass, scissors, pens, reading glasses went flying against the wall before crashing onto the hardwood floor. It seemed like a crack of thunder. I know I'm being overly dramatic but the noise made me shut off my thoughts. The I Ching has given me advice and I just need to take it, not analyze it. As this thread attests I already know exactly what 63.4 means.

 

[thisismybody]

Wow. That's unreal and awesome. The power behind the Yi nudges us and sometimes totally cracks down on us. Don't give Yi the bird, galatea! Listen. Might as well. If you're going to consult, trust Yi. I still will not be driving to SF. Don't over-analyze. Take the message and sit with it. Right now you're meant to keep away from your associates. No harm in that. If you hadn't consulted the Yi, would you have gone on your own accord? And what made you want to ask about going? You already know about the 64.3 subject. Uncanny you got that again. I'm just curious. I've been wondering about why I ask the questions I do. Whereas, sometimes I just go on about my business and decide alone.

 

[galatea11]

Hi ThisIsMyBody,

Thank you for your comments. Generally I consult the I Ching without a specific question, mainly just to get a bit of daily wisdom. When I received 8.3 ("The wrong person to accord with") I knew I was being specifically cautioned to avoid "wrong" people. The warning seemed to linger throughout the weekend so I made sure to check my plans with the I Ching. I always feel grateful for readings but sometimes I get upset over the circumstances of my existence, if that makes sense. For the past 5 years or so I have been leading a life of fairly extreme isolation. It gets quite lonely at moments and I don't know how to change it - honestly, the I Ching often seems to reaffirm that I should just accept it. I am using the solitude to the best of my ability (working, studying, reading, preparing to return to college) but there are moments that the loneliness brings me to tears. Then I feel guilty for letting myself succumb to negative thoughts.

All that said, I am profoundly grateful to the I Ching, always will be. As time goes by the readings do seem much clearer to me. Thank you again for your insights, ThisIsMyBody.