Please Help... 19 to 2

[soshin]

Dear friends...

Got an answer recently with which I have problems to interpret.

First:the topic.

Recently a good old friend of mine (I know him about 25 years) and me became estranged, and a lot of bad blood was flowing in numerous different events. Nobody knows exactly why, the controversial points seemed banal. But a few days ago things went even worse.

One of the sides of my bad character ;-) is a certain grade of unreliability. So it seems to him at least.
I had to work a lot of shifts recently and I was all run down. I had a few days free for recreational purposes after this hard time, and my friend wanted to go on a hike with me, a leisure-time activity we both like a lot.
Also there was the possibility to be participant in a self-awareness group in which another good friend of mine was the leader.

I decided to go for the group session, but out of a neurotic avoidance tactic I avoided to call my other friend - the hiker - to inform him about the changes of my plans.
Justifiably he became quite crazy on me and sent an angry SMS to me in which he stated that I should get the first price in unreliability, if only there were a contest for that. He asked me why for heavens sake I am doing such things - and not for the first time. And the worst thing is - he is right. And I do not really know why I am doing this.

It sounds like i were acting very immature, but in other ocassions I behave not only normally, but as the good friend I alway was to him. Caring, helpful, friendly, whatever you name.

So after avoiding to try to establish contact again I asked yesterday: How could the friendship between Christian and me become normal and positive again.

The answer was 19 with first and second line changing to 2.

So here I am with the answer and have no real clue.

Thank you for your patience with my bad english.

Yours,

Soshin

 

[tashiiij]

Hi Shoshin.

The lines seem to indicate that you and your friend can work together to come to an understanding. Seems very positive that this can work out. Just be honest and admit to him your mistake about blowing him off and try and understand where he is coming from, (which it already sounds you really do), and if he does the same understanding your schedule, this opens the way to perhaps an even deeper friendship. Maybe you have to take care of so many people, you just get sick of it, i dont blame you. surely he will understand you care for him, you are just exhausted and need to be a bit unaccountable sometimes. It sounds he really cares about you, maybe he is lonley or something, i dunno, but hopefully he will understand!!! But maybe you can examine the friendship separate and together to understand...but hex 2 is a very deep hexagram, so maybe also there are some things you need to look deeply into. Like if he drives you a little crazy or something, or is annoying. This is what I mean by honest. Maybe it feels good to have a break for a little bit, to understand what goes on beneath you not being accountable. again, i dont blame you, but you know what i mean.
Your english by the way is very good! Look at mine!

 

[tashiiij]

You know, you really wanted to go to that workshop, but you had already said yes to your longtime friend. This means you have to say no to something. Maybe it is hard to say no to him. Perhaps this kind of dynamic? You need to follow your deep interests, hex 2, to be able to have a friendship. From the heart. Perhaps there is some dynamic at work in this longtime friendship that is not working. And this situation of course catalysied it. 19 of course is always a little ominous because of the dreaded "8th month". Well, maybe you are just in the 8th month now.

 

[heylise]

I think the Yi is telling you two important things. Line 1: affection or friendship means the other is living in your mind. That includes not only you have to tell him about your plans, but also that you have to realize how he will feel about it. This line changes to hex.7, and there the corresponding line says, that rules are essential for functioning well.

In my website this line has as comment:
?Every caring has to be with love. One action which is not right can mess up everything. One moment of forgetting can be a disaster. Leaving the baby a minute alone, forgetting a medicine, not noticing the papers near the fire, forgetting an appointment. The 'mouths' one looks after have to be a part of one's mind, always, every moment?.

The other thing is 19.2, which changes to 25: you need to be yourself, strong and individual and with a free mind. As long as you have fears or weaknesses, you cannot be a reliable friend. Not because you are no good, but because you are not yet completely present in this world.

With hex.2 it is as if the Yi is telling you, that you have all possibilities to be a real reliable friend, like the earth which cares for all creatures without ever forgetting them. For care, friendship, love and things like that, 2 is something like the summit. Greater compassion is not possible.

LiSe

 

[chrislofting]

general properties of 19:

In the binary sequence hexagram 19 pairs with hexagram 41.
This pair reflects an overall focus on concentration, expressed in 19 through a focus on integration (low approaches the high, high defers to the low) and expressed in 41 through a focus on differentiation, a focus on 'purity' through distillation, a concentrated form.

In the binary sequence hexagram 19 opposes hexagram 33.
This pairing reflects a basic difference in (a) approach (19) and (b) withdrawal (33). That said, both perspectives share a focus on there being something 'behind' these actions. Thus 33 reflects trickary, a focus on drawing in the enemy.

In the traditional sequence hexagram 19 pairs with hexagram 20.
This pairing reflects a focus on low-to-high relationships, as (a) low approaches the 'high' (19) and (b) low admires, and so gets motivation from, the 'high' (20).

In the traditional sequence hexagram 19 opposes hexagram 46.
This pair reflects differences in relationship of low to high, where in 46 the focus is on becoming one of the 'high', getting more 'entangled', something not considered in 19 where the distinctions of low and high remain regardless of how close the low gets to the high.

The generic properties of hexagram 19 reflect the mixing of the generic properties of hexagram 41 with the generic properties of hexagram 04.
Mixing the concept of 'masking' (04) with the notion of concentration, distillation (41) is reflected in the properties of hexagram 19.

In the variations on a theme sequence, hexagram 19 complements hexagram 07.
This pairing reflects issues of command and control, where the rigid ordering of such expressed in hexagram 07 is complemented by the casual focus on approach to the 'high' and the deferring of the high to the 'low' in hexagram 19.

Interpreting the change into 2 can reflect more 19 being 'exaggerated' and so looking like 2. As 19 reflects an approach to the 'high' so 2 can reflect a warning in not making that approach too 'devotedly' or else you lose the whole nature of what 19 is about in that the 'devoted' approach reflects deferring to the 'high' when the overall theme in 19 on deferring is of the high to the low.

Chris.

 

[soshin]

Thanks to you all. Your help was deeply appreciated.

Yours,

Soshin