...life can be translucent

Menu

please help:I got 53 and 13,4 to 37.. But the reality in not that promising at all :(

petra33

visitor
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Dear kind ppl,
I started a flirt with a guy in my same job's place. He is over 10 years younger than me. I always avoided him, even knowing he had a soft spot. But then he told me clearly he has a crush on me by chat and I said "why not?" Coz I am surrounded of suitors I don't like back. Instead, I fancy him and I wanted to know him better. So, for ones after long time, I thought to follow what life brings to me, without thinking too much..
But then things got complicated.. When at work he turned up really shy and when we finally met alone, he didn't make any moves, actually trying to avoid to see me (and I have also to specify that he asked for that and he came to my house twice in a day, driving half an hour each way..so 2 hours to don't even look at my face).
I didn't force the thing and he went back home. So back at work, I acted normally and he didn't have the strength to explain what happened.
Before I also asked him if he was single and he told me to be single. So, I made a toss to know what was going on (don't remember the actual question) and I got 28.6 to 44 . And immediately after our first meeting, a girl posted on his Facebook a song about missing and coming back together.
So probably he was taking back the"girl" in the hexagram 44. Or maybe it was him playing as a child with me? But I thought if he was that bad he could make a move when we met.
But then I started to feel uncomfortable and in need of explications. Also because I saw him attracted and blocked too. And I asked him if everything was alright. He replies he was busy, not sure to have his contract renewed and other thing. We started to text again trying to arrange a meeting to talk about it, maybe in front of a coffee or tea. But the with an excuse or another, he was not making it or asking to see alone in my house. I got really upset and I said that for me was over. Then he text a few times (saying he wanted to meet me, to hung out such and such) and I didn't reply also ignoring him at work. But after a few days, I gave up and I said that he had the "last word", to make up his mind, I wanted to know him better but he was too scared and to tell me when we could meet. Then I made another toss: how things are evolving between me and X?, getting Hex 53 unchanging (which was not too bad, I thought). It's a busy time for both of us and he doesn't live in town, so the day after he came to my house after work.
And finally he made "the move". Then we acted normally, but he said he could not stay so long. I am a grown up woman: I know how some things are going, and to be honest I was not that comfortable,too. I was not really thinking it was possible to start any relationship and that that was just a sporadic episode. But we talked a bit about jobs things, his projects, his contract which expired in a few days and he doesn't know if he will stay, or start his own business.. I didn't think we had any future after that, but ether there was any problem.
But after a few hours, I checked my Facebook and I found out he unfriend me.
So I asked for why we were not friend anymore by e-mail and made another toss (because after all, I didn't aspect such a negative attitude).
I didn't know what to think, which logic to see behind that silly thing. So, I asked "What X feels for me?" (coz his behavior was nice, to be honest.. at least, I thought we could be friends). And I got 13.4 to 37.

Now we are texting to each other and it came out he probably did it by mistake (of course is a lie)and he is afraid to be fired because of what happen. I said he should not, unless he does this kind of thing with all the girls around. He said that he doesn't but he is sure we can be fired.

So, my last reply was I thought that was the confirmation that he was not single as he said and that I didn't want to keep going wishing to him the best, unless he wanted to spend time with me. Probably I should specify if he were single.

So I thought 53 is about to see how thing develops because it is a really open situation (or it was).
And 13,4 to 37 that he is freaking out because he liked me and now he doesn't want to get attached and he is defensing himself (13.4). Or maybe he is really afraid to do not have his contract renewed??
Then he can realize he should not go against his feeling because there is no risk to loose his job (13.4). But do you think he could make up his mind and to be more serious, starting a proper relationship (37)?

I know it is a mere dream this guy is into me and he behaves like that because he is afraid to fall in love. I like him, but I want a mutual thing. If he want just sex, I better run away.

Any insight? Sorry I was really long and confuse, I know. But things are running and I am not sure about my own feeling.
Thanks a lot anyway and all the best to all.
 
Last edited:

petra33

visitor
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Dear all,
I am still stuck with this childish situation.
(actually if anyone can give me advise for the previous tosses, I will appreciate it a lot)..
So far, nothing new happened between us. We still don't talk. But a few things are going on. We try to avoid each other. And as always in this kind of things, the more you try to avoid someone, the more you accidentally clash on him. Also a friend of mine saw him (basically) eavesdropping a conversation about me. In a few days there is also a staff party and I don't know if go because of him (I don' t know if I want to see him.. I don't know if I can hold that.. especially if he will bring/court another woman). I also applied for a totally new job (not because of him, just happened). Now he actually behave as he is angry at me (leaving the room as soon as we are alone)..
I act normally, pretending to don't care but I am still pretty confuse.
Anyway, I still wish something happen to take out all this tension (coz I have to admit that I am scared of relationships. He can tell me tomorrow he is in love with me and I can freak out worse than him). And from the previous tosses, seems he is confuse too (?) and things are still in the very beginning.
I know it is not the best question, but (before to move on for good) I asked if "despite the appearance, we can end up in a relationship", and I got 5.1.3.6 to 59
It does not seem bad. I think it says I will be fine (with or without him)... but do you think the dissolution is referred to the end of the story, or to the end of the fears that take us apart?
I should let it go, but I am not sure if I have to be faithful about it giving him time, instead (I am still try to understand the previous tosses).

also line 5.3 scares me a bit (I don't know if I go to the party it will be a pain or if I am already "stuck" on line 3, for example) .

Any thoughts please?
 

moss elk

visitor
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
2,308
Reaction score
90
I will offer my interpretation later today.
For now i have to ask:

Did the relationship go directly from a flirty electronic message "i have a crush on you"
To "come to my house for sex"?
(Thats how i read your paragraphs)
 

petra33

visitor
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Thank you! .. No really. .. in the really beginning it was more like "any thing you offer is good"...it was more Let's hang out (and at the end, before to unfriend me)).. but I don't really think about a relationship"... but then he changed several times... he was pushy and then "ah no sorry. .. I don't want to push you: let's wait another time"(when he was already in front of ny house).. he was scared I don't know about what exactly...up and down of emotion for both of us. . But every time I said "I don't want it anymore, he asked me to try again because he really wanted to see me. .. so I wanted to see if it was possible to slowly get the status of friends with benefits (not something I usually do) and all this up and down brought me to a crush on him... so I don't think I can possibly go for it anymore, coz I have too many concerns. . I can change just if he shows me he really cares. .
 
B

blue_angel

Guest
Your most current reading is 5>59. It looks like the connection is dissolving has dissolved to now you are waiting to find out the reasoning. While you wait, enjoy yourself, your life, your time. Go out with friends with family. Whatever your heart desires when not with him. No use in racking your brain trying to figure out what he's going through or why. He seems uncertain, at least his actions are. It will be hard to narrow down what exactly his deal is unless he communicates directly. Best to figure out yourself.

Ask questions of yourself "how should I approach, or what action should I take"? You'll get more peace and clarity that way.

The 53 could've been he wishes to take a slower, gradual, courted advance.

The 13>37 is family, the proper rules and places of each person in the family to fellowship. If about him, maybe he was interested but wanted to build by playing by whatever his perception of the proper places and rules are. Or vise versa, could've been about your own underlying rules and how to build a fellowship / friendship.

But now you are playing the waiting game. Waiting for answers. I wish I had more time to look at the lines for you. I too will come back. It is difficult to make a connection, open up, and share intimacy with someone and watch them disappear. But do not forget your own values or yourself in the process. Try to take a breath and relax. Meditate, do some yoga, clear your mind.

Best wishes for now
 

moss elk

visitor
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
2,308
Reaction score
90
How were things starting out?
53: very gradually, nothing wrong with that per se.

What did he feel for you?
13.4
He was 'on the fence' or undecided and conflicted in his feelings. Maybe he was thinking of you only as a sexual conquest and later changed his mind? And if so, its good that he held back from his 'attack'.

ignoring what has happened, can we end up in a relationship?
I got*5.1.3.6 to 59

I see this as counsel for you not to pursue him. Hex 5: Do nothing, Line 1 and 3 are warnings, line 6 hmm. Do you know of any other women at the workplace he has had any dealings with? If so, bond with them for safety and learn something from them.

I would suggest to steer clear of him. His behaviour was odd and conflicted, nothing about it says to me that he was wanting to start a family with you. (Establishing the ancestral temple) Disperse with him.

Just my thoughts.
 

petra33

visitor
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Dear Moss Elk, dear Blue Angel (and dear all),
thanks a lot for your advises, which are really wise ;))

Today, just before to read your replies, I was thinking about the all situation. I also had to interact with him at work (but we were not alone, I must to add), and I realized I really like him, or I could. No matter what... It sounds contradictory, but because of that, I think I will stay strong. Thanks him, I realized I am too focused on my career, rather than my personal life. Basically, because I was scared to suffer or to get wrong. Then I also focused on my tosses and on Louise Hay advise which basically says: "when you want to overcome a problem, do not think to break it. If you break it, you will have pieces on your way. Instead, if you think to dissolve a problem, the problem will come back from no where (where it comes from)". Others could say "forgive and forget"! Nothing good can come from rancor.
Now, I am grateful for this situation.. I am understanding a lot of things about myself. About which are my real inner needs.
I am positively changing and I am looking inside saying and starting to believe I am worthy of love. No matter what.. So, anything is possible if I mature and truly love myself.
I am the one who probably has to clarify first. And he will follow me (if he is the right one, no matter if he is young and scared).
The "friend with benefits" thing is not enough for me. I deserve more, I am worthy to ask for more...that's it...simple and clear.

So, I read your advises (thanks again, it was so kind from you!) and I follow Blue Angel hint, doing a toss about myself and what I can actually do. I have to say that I am always scared to ask for advises to the I Ching, coz it is always cryptic (!) and I am not sure to be able to understand/follow the advise.
I asked "how I have to behave to make that between me and him will blossom a serious and satisfy relationship for both of us?" and I got 50 unchanging

So I have a few thoughts about all the thing.

50 unchanging talks about slow cooking, take time and inner, smooth but substantial changes.
Probably not every things is wasted: it is still possible a relationship...but I have to grow up "as first"...No more fears, as well. I have just to follow my natural (positive) development (without resist it anymore..being faithful, too).

I also thought about 59, again. Initially I was wishing about dissolution of practical obstacles. But perhaps it is rather about fears. Mine equally than his ones... I wish it can be so...

And Today I also have confirmed the interview for the new job (so my chances are becoming more and more concrete). Which seems to confirm line 5.6. It is a totally different thing. It is not what I want as career, BUT it is definitely a good first step to have a more stable life. It is a big challenge (because I will have to put a massive effort to seek my real professional dreams), but it is important for me. And going for it, I show to myself a deeply faith in my qualities like "you can menage all things" (sounds confusing, but trust me: my professional situation would need a separate chapter to be explained, eheh!).
Also, it gives me and him) an healthy distance to understand if there is a real spiritual connection or it is just "flash in the pan" that exist just in our job's place. This new job thing is like one of the 3 unexpected guests to honor I think.. And the irony is that I leave and apparently he stays (!!).. (but I have to specify that these 2 things are not official, and a part a close friend, no one know about my intentions).
Anyway, I think 50 is positive, it gives me hopes, but command to put myself first ANYWAY (with or without him).
and even 13.4<37 seems open (up to my personal development) because 37 it is about ordered relationships. It can be equally mean to opt for a serious relationship with me, or to get serious with the other woman? (but the question was specifically about his feeling for me).

Do you think my thoughts make any sense?

Do you feel to add anything? Please do it..

PS:I am still pretty nervous for the staff party (3 members' staff birthday party), because he could come with "the other girl" (silly from him but possible). Also, I know he had a quick flirt with another colleague last summer; this person changed the job, but she is coming because it is her brother's birthday party too. I don't know if it too early to see him in public, but everyone asking me to come, there are a lot of my friends too.. It can be also a challenge for me (to face the situation instead of run away and to regret it later).. But I would avoid to do be involved in a masochistic situation..
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top