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Please help with interpretation

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Recently my partner left me for another man. She said that meeting him made her realise that she no longer held any of the same feelings for me. I see it that overtime feelings get taken for granted and overlooked and that the stability we had just doesent seem like real love in comparison to the possibilty of the new scenario with someone else where feelings are so obvious. For this reason i asked the i ching to advise on how i can best act in the scenario so that she will remember certain things and come back to me. In response it gave Hx 44 with transforming yang lines at 2, 3 and 9 turning into Hx 45. I am really unsure as to what this could mean so any insite that any one has would be much appreciated.
 

dobro p

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On a general level, 44 is about making contact with a powerful force, but not uniting with it. Applied to a relationship, it translatrs as not uniting with another person who you find yourself drawn to, either because it's the wrong person, or it's the wrong time. This matches the situation you're in - the Yi's talking to you about how *not* to be connecting with and close to your partner.

44.2 - This sounds like you containing your feelings (feelings arise out of values, right?), or containing your values inside yourself, without taking them to your partner. A tough experience in this situation, for sure.

44.3 - There's no relief in this situation, whether you're on the move or at rest. My reading of this line also includes the idea that life is administering some sort of painful lesson in this experience. Not so much a punishment, but definite suffering so that you learn the lesson - maybe you've been ignoring some important signals up until now?

44.6 - This line talks about dealing with a situation in typical guy fashion - with force and directly - this involves some shame, but no blame. Sort of like: you deal with this in a really forthright, maybe even aggressive way. You lack the skill to deal with it in a better way, but who's to blame you in a situation like this? We're all of us human, and learning what we need to know. In the meantime, things get handled less than perfectly sometimes (insert rueful smile here).

Overall, a lonely path of pain and struggle. Hey, good luck with this one. And if you find you can't connect with her very well right now, throw your weight toward connecting with other people who know how to listen.
 

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Dear Dobro

Thank you so much, that is actually very helpful.
Im only just starting to use the i ching and so was wondering if you could explain a couple of things:

I can see that 44.6 talks of my direct action toward the situation but 44.2 and 44.3 are a little trickier for me to interpret. Can you shed a bit of light on how you came to these interpretations... which were really quite accurate by the way!

Also the judgment of Hx44 seemed to be definately negative about a female figure, is this the i ching warning against my involvment with her?

Finally what significance do you (or anyone else) think that the hidden Hx1 and realting Hx45 may have.

Thank you again for taking the time to help, i look forward to being a little more proficient at talking with the i ching myself and hopefully helping others in the same way.
 

dobro p

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"I can see that 44.6 talks of my direct action toward the situation but 44.2 and 44.3 are a little trickier for me to interpret. Can you shed a bit of light on how you came to these interpretations... which were really quite accurate by the way!"

Mmmm...just my interpretation of the standard text. For example, 44.2 says (my translation):

Containing having fish
Without fault
No advantage visiting

I read this as: there's something valuable contained (the fish - your feelings, in other words). This is without fault, so don't worry cuz you're not doing something stupid, wrong or useless. But there's no advantage in contacting someone in the situation (your partner). This echoes the hexagram theme of 'not connecting'.

"Also the judgment of Hx44 seemed to be definately negative about a female figure, is this the i ching warning against my involvment with her?"

I used to think that's what it meant, yeah, but I've changed my mind a bit since reading Stephen Karcher's latest Yi (Karcher's the king of Yi versions - he puts out I Chings the way some people put out novels LOL). Karcher's reading is along the lines of: you don't touch this woman, cuz she isn't yours to touch. So, even though Karcher's version isn't negative about the woman (good work, Stephen), it's still saying 'hands off'.

"Finally what significance do you (or anyone else) think that the hidden Hx1 and realting Hx45 may have."

None whatsoever LOL. I'm eccentric about this. I don't believe there is such a thing as a 'resulting hexagram'. I won't bore you with my theory about the relationship between changing lines and other hexagrams.
 

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Dear Dobro

Thank you once again. You have been very helpful, im starting to get this a bit more... following your explanation regarding your interpretation i think im starting to see and understand the imagery a bit more.

I spoke with the oracle again and got answers that i think i understand, can you see what you reckon to my interpretation?

The situation with her has come to the point that i have the option of two choices: 1)I continue to see her when it suits her in purely platonic way. (very difficult for me, is like having my heart stamped on) or 2) i sever all contact with her and hope that my entire absence makes her realise the loss (also very difficult as i am certain she is my soul mate)

So i asked "should i cut all contact with her?"
The oracle replied Hx39 with nine at fifth.
I interpreted as

The south west furthers. The northeast does not ... step away from the situation.

Perserverance brings good fortune ... wait and see her, new situation may end and leave her realising what we were more

In the midst of great obstructions, Friends come... obvious.

Not sure about the mention of the great man though.

Let me know what u reckon? By the way, wouldnt mind hearing what you've got to say about changing lines and relating hexagrams. Im eager to learn
 

stuart

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IT SEEMS AS YOUR BEST OPTION IS TO WITHDRAW FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.AS PAINFUL AS IT IS IT IS, YOU MAY BE UNDER THE SPELL OF THIS LADY.BEWARE OF THIS LADY WHO SEEMS TO ALSO UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONAL RESPONCES.IT MAY NEVER HAVE MEANT TO BE IN THE LONG RUN.I DO NOT SEE YOU AS A JEALOUS TYPE.LIFE IS LIKE A GAME OF TENNIS,THIS IS ONE SET YOU MAY NOT WIN!
 

Sparhawk

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L
 

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care to elaborate some Sparhawk?... i dont get subtlety! lol!
 

Sparhawk

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Did you say anything? My ears are still ringing... LOL

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Luis
 

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