Pregnancy 3.3.5 to 36, then 22.1.5.6 to 39

[meg999]

Hi there,

I'm new to this site and looking for what people might see in the reading I just got - 3 Sprouting (3.3.5) changing to 36 Hidden Brightness, and then another 22 Beauty (22.1.5.6) to 39 Limping. I asked about a future pregnancy, how it should be or would be timed, and how to maintain family harmony with my husband and son with a new addition. The second time I asked about keeping everyone in the family happy and healthy through a new pregnancy.

The background here is that my husband and I went through a very rough patch about a year ago, we were not sure we were going to stay together and had not been intimate for more than a year previous. We went into counseling and things got immediately better - great even - very quickly and we were intimate one time, 3 weeks later we found out we were pregnant and shortly after found it was twin girls. We had not plamned on more children and were totally shocked and also totally joyful, as was our 4 year old. About halfway to term, the pregnancy had severe complications, required two surgeries, and ultimately the girls were born far too early to survive, though they were born by normal delivery and my husband and I were able to love them with all our hearts for the hour or so that they lived.

Ever since we lost the twins, we have wanted to have another baby, and the doctors have now given the go-ahead. I have been tracking fertility closely, but we're still trying after 2 months. We conceived so easily the other two times that I'm feeling concerned although it's early in the game. I'm also quite concerned about receiving the hexagram of Hidden Brightness and Limping. Does anyone think that this could indicate my injury or death with a future pregnancy? Or an indication of abnormalities or health problems with a new baby? Or should I take those as a reference to myself and my relationship to the question, as a reference to my grief and loss over the twins?

Any thoughts you all may have would be welcomed.

Namaste,
Meg

 

[dharmamom]

Namaste, dear Meg!
I posted a quick reply for you yesterday morning but apparently it got swallowed up in the matrix.
My answer now will probably not be as spontaneous as the one yesterday, but I felt I had to contact you again.
I leave the figuring out of your hexagrams to the real experts here. Hope they chime in anytime soon because you need an answer.
The point is: in July 2012 I had a stillbirth. I was in the end of the sixth month, so you can imagine how devastating it was for the whole family. My seven-year old boy still relates to this lost brother as some sort of guardian presence who watches over us from wherever he is. Our second boy should have been a Dragon in Chinese astrology, so we refer to him as "our little dragon."
I know what it's like to grapple for answers, to read signs everywhere, to try to simply understand why...
The Yi has become a trusted friend since then. I go to it for advice, for comfort, for solace as with a dear friend. Coming to terms with what happened is still a huge work in progress, but time has helped in healing.
The only advice I can give you is to trust yourself. Don't give away this huge power we have of taking charge of your own life. Whatever the hexagrams tell you, it's not written in stone. The ultimate decision is for you to take and no one can do it for you. And if you feel that you want to try for another baby, don't be afraid to go all out and suffer if you must. If you don't try you will never know.
I land on the site now and then, but if you need someone to talk to, my mail is p.c.murua@bluewin.ch
You can write to me anytime. I might not answer right away, but I'll be there for you.
Hope the Big Boys here help you figure out an answer. But remember to trust yourself for the ultimate decision. You already know deep within what to do.
A big namaste and I hope you find in the site what you're looking for,
Caro